** Eagles QB Carson Wentz: The former Pro-Bowl passer leads the league in four categories, the only QB in either the AFC or NFC to boast that kind of excellence. Nevermind that those four categories are interceptions, sacks, sack yards lost and lowest QB rating among players with eight-plus starts. Leading the league in anything is impressive.
** Jets RB Frank Gore: No Jets made the roster, likely a reflection of their 1-13 record on the season. But that criminally underrates Gore, who left this weekend with 605 rushing yds on the season, good enough for 25th place. That doesn’t sound impressive until you remember that Gore has been playing for over 100 years, since before the league began. Any senior citizen who can crack the league’s top 25 list deserves some props.
** Buccaneers QB Tom Brady: Once again, the league continues to disrespect #12, leaving him off the Pro Bowl roster by nitpicking stats. Is his QB rating low? Sure (14th in the league). Are his interceptions high? Sure (Tied for 6th). But is his team winning? Kind of (they’d be the 5th seed if the playoffs started today). One of these years, the NFL is finally going to give him the recognition he deserves.
** Raiders TE Jason Witten: His impact on the field has been minimal this year — just 11 catches for 57 yds — but Monday Night Football has gotten 2,000 percent better since he left the booth. Sometimes excellence is measured in absence, not contributions.
** Dolphins S Clayton Fejedelem: Is he the best defensive back in the league? No, not even close. Is he the best special teams player in the league? No. But does he have the best name in the league? Yes. And isn’t that what the Pro Bowl is really all about, especially since they aren’t playing a real game this year?
WR: Calvin Ridley, 21.87 pts — started by Bob
RB: David Montgomery, 28.17 pts — started by me
TE: Darren Waller, 20.50 pts — started by Mike
K: Cairo Santos, 18.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Baltimore, 15.00 pts — started by Jeff
D: Devin White, 12.00 pts — on the wire
Exactly as I predicted back in August, Hurts takes his place atop the top performers list this week with the ninth-highest scoring performance of any week so far this season. His 338 passing TDs, 63 rushing yds and four TDs without a turnover weren’t enough to will the Eagles to a win, but they were enough to make you wonder what the hell was so wrong with Carson Wentz that he could do anything with this same offense.
In just two starts and three games of real action at the QB position, Hurts has already passed Jimmy Garoppolo (six starts), Dwayne Haskins (five starts), and Alex Smith (five starts) for total fantasy pts on the year. And if he can beat Dallas next week, I’m sure the team will build a statue for him, before proceeding to bad mouth him all season and call for his benching after one bad start next year.
Meanwhile, Titans RB Derrick Henry only had 24.03 pts this week and only leads the league in rushing by 195 yds. If he can squeeze out 321 yds in his last two games (he’s averaging 112, so that would be a stretch) he can break the 2,000 yds mark, which unlike all the passing records is still an impressive mark.
“On the wire” edition2nd place: (tie) Denver, -3.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: (tie) Jacksonville, -3.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: San Francisco, -4.00 pts — on the wire
For some reason all of the fantasy football prediction machines had the 49ers defense as a solid play this week, even though their offense has looked awful and the Cowboys offense has shown signs of life. I ended up benching them in my other league in favor of Miami playing a confusing Patriots team, and it ended up being a 13-point swing in a game where I won by 17. So, that’s another point for me, and no points for the experts.
Jacksonville’s defense, the fourth worst in fantasy this season, was not started by anyone. They’re the lowest rostered defense in all of Yahoo, with less than 1 percent of all leagues having someone who picked them up. For comparison, Raiders WR Tyrell Williams, who was injured before the season and has not played a single down this year, is rostered in 2 percent of leagues.
** Texas A&M Coach Jimbo Fisher, whose team narrowly missed out on the college football championship playoffs, said before the selections were made for the top four teams in the nation that his crew deserved to be in there, even if they didn’t make their conference championship game. “We’re 8-1 in the SEC,” Fisher said. “We lost to the No. 1 team in the country. I want to see somebody else go 8-1 in this league.”
Well, Jimbo, you got your wish. Alabama went 10-0 in the conference this year, which, even by SEC math, is better than 8-1. Florida went 8-2, but they were also 8-1 before they played in the championship game and lost. Georgia went 7-2 but likely would have an 8th win in the conference if not for the coronavirus postponement of their game against 0-9 Vanderbilt, one of those impressive SEC wins that Texas A&M is bragging about.
If all you’re looking for out of the college football playoffs is the answer to “who is the best team in the SEC,” we already have a tournament for that. It’s called the regular season. Sorry it didn’t work out for you.
** Former CB Aqib Talib, now a Fox football commentator, complimented Eagles QB Jalen Hurts during Sunday’s loss when he threw the ball away on a broken play: “That was a good job getting nothing on that play instead of a loss.”
I get it, and yes, it’s important to let Eagles fans know you are allowed to throw the ball away after a long season of watching Wentz eat the ball over and over again. But the phrase “good job getting nothing” is never going to sound like a real compliment. It’s really just a kinder way of saying “Way to limit your sucking.”
** Following their first win of the season on Sunday, Jets coach Adam Gase said that he was “just so happy for our guys … they’ve done such a great job with how they’ve worked.”
No, not they haven’t. That’s exactly why you were 0-13. They’ve done a terrible, terrible job all season long.
It’s college bowl season again, which always begs the question: If the NFL operated in the same way as the NCAA, who would get invited to the post-season? Here’s a look at the possibilities:
** The Cheez-It Bowl
Was Miami vs OK State, now Green Bay vs. Maryland
You can’t have a cheese bowl without the cheeseheads, and for all we know the Maryland Football Team’s name is gonna be the DC Goudas. So it all fits the theme.
** Goodyear Cotton Bowl
Was Oklahoma vs. Florida, now Jets vs. Jacksonville
Like tires made out of cotton, neither of these teams are good for anything. So let’s make them battle for the #1 draft pick next year and see just how sad it is.
** TransPerfect Music City Bowl
Was Iowa vs. Missouri, now Tennessee vs. Pittsburgh
Organizers love to get a team with a local connection, so the Titans are a must. And the Steelers went from 11-0 to 11-3 in a blink, which seems like a transperfect record to me.
** Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Was Nevada vs. Tulane, now Cowboys vs. Raiders
Two teams that are famous for reasons that no one can remember play in a game sponsored by a product that is allegedly famous for reasons that no one can remember.
** College Football Playoff semifinal
Was Alabama vs. Notre Dame, now Kansas City vs. Alabama
Somehow, even when they aren’t really eligible, Alabama always ends up in these games.
Mercifully, we're almost at the end of the season. But before we get there, we have one last epic mashup between the nexus of all evil (Cowboys) and their classic rival (the remains of what was once the Eagles) in a showdown that will define their place in the NFC East. And this sentence tells it all, twice: The Eagles-Cowboys tilt Sunday will decide the last place finisher
** Cynic: eh, either way, it’s all bad. Two sets of dung piles. I elect hell.
Go ahead, check it. It's all there.
And it's not great, folks. Just two games left.
** Another positive week for Dad, who picked up two of three games and now sits just 10 down in our picks contest. It’s still a long haul for him to catch up, but at least he doesn’t have to worry about a two-point conversion at the moment. ** Seriously, though, the Steelers and Rams shouldn’t get to play in the postseason after those two losses.
** I’m in the championship game in my big money (also known as “more than zero dollars”) league, so you can’t depress me with the standings below. Everybody root for Lamar Jackson and Dalvin Cook next week.
Week 15 standings 1 — Bird Immunity (Mike), 1,983.34 pts
2 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,895.16 pts
3 — The XL Garbage Bags (Capt. Awesome), 1,876.22 pts
4 — Pre-Recorded Boos (Bob), 1,859.75 pts
5 — 5th Grade Math (Jo), 1,816.57 pts
6 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 1,757.78 pts
7 — The Mom Football Tm (Mom D) 1,719.30 pts
8 — The Slaymakers (Ant), 1,675.09 pts
9 — Lataja Orly Lataja (Dad), 1,602.82 pts
10 — Soccer Orphans (Paul), 1,487.27 pts
11 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 1,278.60 pts
This is Mike’s league right now, we’re just playing in it. He has a 100-plus-pts lead in the standings with just two weeks left, and keeps getting stronger with each game. Jeff leapfrogged me to get back into second, and Bob is lingering just on the outskirts of possibility down there in fourth. After that, it looks like playing for pride.
Speaking of pride, Mom couldn’t pull the trigger on starting Hurts this week, but she got huge points from QB Matt Ryan and the rest of her crew to pull herself towards the middle of the pack. Dad is only two behind … in the contest to see who can make the most roster moves. But I’m not sure he can win that title either.
This week, as a Christmas present to you, the fans, the NFL will have games on Friday (at 430pm) and Saturday (at 1pm, 430pm, and 815pm) and Sunday and Monday night but not Thursday but maybe Tuesday if there are problems and I don’t know anymore just set your rosters tomorrow and pray for mercy.
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