** They gave up 14 points in the first six minutes of play this week.
** They have trailed by double digits in the first half of six of their seven games.
** They have surrendered 37-plus points each of their last two games.
** They haven’t had a 100-yard rusher since Oct. 1, 2017.
** They have lost four in a row to the Cowboys.
** They are not good.
Other than that, the team looks solid.
WR: Marvin Jones Jr., 35.20 pts — started by Mom
RB: Chase Edmonds, 33.20 pts — on Mom’s bench
TE: Darren Waller, 23.90 pts — started by Ant
K: Greg Zuerlein, 15.00 pts — started by Dad
DEF: New England, 34.00 pts — started by me
D: Chandler Jones, 14.50 pts — started by Mike
So close! If only anyone could figure out who the Cardinals are starting at RB on any given week. Chase Edmonds — the Arizona backup who rushed for 126 yds and three TDs on Sunday — ruined everyone’s fantasy day because starting RB David Johnson wasn’t hurt, but then didn’t really play. Either be a starter or a bench guy, Chase. You’re not helping anyone out if we don’t know whether to start you.
A 50-plus pts fantasy performance is pretty rare, and now we’ve had two in the last three weeks. Following DeSean Watson’s six TD day earlier this month, Rodgers posted his own on Sunday: 429 passing yds, 5 passing TDs, and one rushing score. It’s only the third time this year that Rodgers has been above the 20 fantasy pts mark, and only the third time since the start of the 2018 season that he has thrown at least three TDs a game. For comparison, QB Carson Wentz has five over that span (in five fewer games) and wasn’t getting drafted by anyone in the first four rounds of fantasy drafts. About time Rodgers lived up to his hype.
Jones’ four TD receiving day gave him more end zone visits in one afternoon than WRs Michael Thomas, Alshon Jeffery, JuJu Smith-Schuster, Odell Beckham and Davante Adams have on the season so far. He also managed to do it without breaking 100 yards in receptions, which seems mathematically impossible.
“Bad D” edition
3rd place: Atlanta, -3.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Oakland, -5.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Detroit, -6.00 pts — on the wire
Three games after almost upsetting the Kansas City Chiefs, the Lions are now in complete free fall. On Sunday they allowed 42 pts, recorded no turnover or sacks, and earned the worst possible defensive fantasy score this week. The good news is they play the Raiders in two more weeks, so maybe the complete lack of defense won’t matter as much then.
Not included on the list: The Eagles defense, which did not play this week. I mean, I can’t find any evidence they did…
“Sam Darnold” edition
1st place: Sam Darnold, -6.66 pts — on the wire
That score is not a misprint.
Jets QB Sam Darnold had a night on Monday, throwing four interceptions and fumbling once (and giving up a safety) against only 86 passing yds. You were worth 6.66 more fantasy points than Darnold this week without ever leaving the couch.
Amazingly, however, it doesn’t even crack the top five of the worst single-game fantasy performances of the last 15 years. Former Bears QB Rex Grossman had two games in 2006 alone where he posted fewer than -6.7 fantasy points. And two years ago, then Bills QB Nathan Peterman (still in the league, somehow) dropped a -6.96 pts score thanks to five interceptions against six completions for 66 yds (6-6-6, sensing a pattern here?).
For the record, Darnold’s performance equaled a 3.6 QB rating, more than 10 times worse than the 39.6 rating he would have recorded if he simply threw his first pass into the ground and left the field. Although, if he aimed for the ground, he still probably would have been intercepted.
** On Sunday morning, before the professional football began but after the collegiate football had finished for the weekend, ESPN’s SportsCenter trotted out its top plays of the previous day. Number #1 on the list was a spectacular fourth-quarter juggling interception by the Air Force football team (not the actual military force, that would be a very different choice) at the opposite 8-yard line that was returned for a TD, to put the cap on a 56-26 blowout of Hawaii (the football team, not the state). It’s a solid pick … if #2 wasn’t the two-run walk-off home run that send the Houston Astros to the World Series. That play was arguably the most important moment in the American League playoffs so far. The Air Force interception didn’t even effect the point spread.
But ESPN has made a business out of choosing cool looking plays over actual substance, so way to stay on message.
** From NFL.com’s “what did we learn in week 7” column: “The Redskins (1-6) deserve some credit for nearly spoiling the 49ers' undefeated season.”
They lost 9-0. I went back and checked, and no team in NFL history has managed to win a game without scoring a point. Praise the Racial Slurs’ defense if you want, but don’t say they almost won when they never got on the scoreboard.
Trades aren’t as common in the NFL as other sports leagues, but as the end-of-month trade deadline approaches, several big names are expected to make some moves. On Tuesday alone, the Patriots acquired WR Mohamed Sanu from the Falcons and the 49ers got Broncos WR Emmanuel Sanders. Here’s a few other teams considering major shake-ups:
** Bengals: Cincinnati is contemplating trading Pro Bowl WR AJ Green in exchange for at least two professional-level football players, thereby doubling their current total.
** Browns: Cleveland ownership has been in talks with the Lakers to acquire LeBron James, because why not?
** Eagles: Team officials are offering a third-round draft pick for an easily injured cornerback to add to their current collection.
** Chargers and Rams: In light of the teams’ recent slides, Los Angeles officials have said they are willing to trade one or both teams to any interested city with a solid MLS squad.
** Giants: The team would like to exchange QB Eli Manning for a less frumpy looking paperweight.
** Patriots: Coach Bill Belechick announced in a press conference that any player on his team is up for trade in exchange for unicorn blood to help keep him alive.
Xavier Su'a-Filo is a five-year pro who played college ball in UCLA and has been considered a solid if not special offensive liveman. The Cowboys are his third professional team since entering the league, but Dallas officials are confident he’ll be a long-term fit for their organization considering his … unique … character. Consider:
Cowboys O-lineman Xavier Su'a-Filo
** Our wily vision -- Box o’ malfeasance
Getting the dash and the apostrophe to work in there should have been more of a challenge, honestly.
** When is a tie a win? When I don’t lose to Dad in the weekly picks. I’m still looking for my first victory of the season, but at least I didn’t lose ground, splitting our picks on Sunday. Thank you to the Titans for your goal-line stand to leave me at a mere 8 games back. ** Fun fact I heard this week: With their ALCS defeat this weekend, the Yankees failed to reach the World Series at all in the 2010s. It’s the first decade they have not played in the final championship series at least once since the 1910s.
So, take that, NY.
** So, basketball, eh? At least that will take a few months to be completely disappointing?
Week 7 standings 1 — McCown or Never (Capt. Awesome), 930.52 pts
2 — SweatpantsEnthusiast (Mike), 888.17 pts
3 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 836.48 pts
4 — We Love the Mud (Mom D) 820.38 pts
5 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 801.06 pts
6 — Philly Special (Jo), 783.44 pts
7 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 781.54 pts
8 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 772.09 pts
9 — Peabody and Sherman (Dad), 771.04 pts
10 — ToMediocreOrLess (Paul), 734.52 pts
11 — Ezekiel34 holdout (Joel), 716.98 pts
12 — I love the Cowboys (Joey McDeadAccount), 12.13 pts
Joey actually had two players score this week, but he left 0.90 pts on his bench by not starting one of them. Poor strategy by him.
But good strategy by me. Another first-place finish this week coupled with a mediocre showing by Mike gives me a good bit of breathing room atop the standings. Special thanks to the New England defense for continuing to play terrible teams.
Mom D is charging up the charts, just a few points behind third place, and Joanna’s big week jumped her up a few spots. Jeff’s team took a hit this week, and I’m not sure Paul’s team lived up to its new name.
Thursday Night Football this week is the Vikings vs. the Maryland Racial Slurs. The commercials for the game have had an annoying eight-year-old getting in a trash talking contest against a grown man (and winning, because the Maryland fan can’t reference any success from the last two decades). I imagine the game isn’t going to be much more interesting than that sorry display of an ad, but get your rosters set anyway.
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