Fantasy league 2017 -- week 14 recap

 

Eagles QB Carson Wentz tossed his 33rd TD pass of the year on Sunday (breaking the franchise’s single-season record) in what may have been one of the most dramatic moments of the season for the newly-crowned NFC East champions. And then it all came crashing down when Wentz was diagnosed with an ACL tear and declared out for the season.

Unsure how to cope with the loss of a potential league MVP and the end of a once-magical season? Join the club! Here are a few ideas to mitigate the pain:

— Believe in Nick Foles: The guy did throw 27 TDs against 2 INTs for this team just a few years ago. He looked serviceable on Sunday, completing a few clutch passes with little time to prep. The next three games amount to decent practice slate for him, so maybe he can surprise us again?

— Believe in the offense: Everything ran through Wentz, but there have been a lot of bright spots. TE Zach Ertz should be back next week. WRs Alshon Jeffery and Nelson Agholor have been incredible. The RB corps is solid. They might not score as many points, but they should still score.

— Remember that they won the division: That means at least one playoff game at home. And if they can win two of their last three, they’ll get the #1 overall seed. There’s a reason why they call it home field advantage.

— Hate the Rams: The stupid “can’t keep a home” franchise may have just ruined our season. Don’t forget that. I hope we beat them 77-0 next year and leave Goff crying on the sidelines.

— Cry: It’s always an option.

— Research ACL replacement surgery: I mean, there’s probably some way to speed up this process, right? Medical science has done amazing things of late. If they can build a gyroscopic prosthetic leg, we can probably slap a new ligament in there good as new. I know a million interested donors in the Philly area.

— Believe in miracles: Seven backup QBs have been forced into the starting role for NFL teams mid-season and won the Super Bowl. That includes Kurt Warner and Tom Brady. At some point Philly sports teams have to get a break, right? Right?

QB: Carson Wentz, 35.24 pts — started by Ant
WR: DeAndre Hopkins, 25.43 pts — started by Mom D
RB: LeVeon Bell, 32.43 pts — started by Ant
TE: Trey Burton, 19.23 pts — on the wire
K: Chris Boswell, 19.00 pts — started by Sam
DEF: Denver, 23.00 pts — started by Jeff
D: Bashaud Breeland, 12.26 pts — on the wire

Yep. Despite the injury and missing most of the fourth quarter, Wentz was still the best QB of the week. And he made his third-string TE the best TE of the week.

Yep.

Not on the list: Panthers RB Jonathan Stewart, who scored 28.30 pts on Sunday after totaling 28.20 pts the previous five weeks of the season. He doubled his season rushing TD total this weekend, adding three more to his three in the first 13 weeks. And he did it against the Vikings, one of the best run defenses in the league. Football makes no sense.


“Players we started” edition

3rd place: Josh McCown, -1.46 pts — started by Dad
1st place: (tie) Baltimore, -3.00 pts — started by Sam
1st place: (tie) Pittsburgh, -3.00 pts — started by Ant

The Steelers and Ravens played each other in a thrilling 39-38 game Sunday night that produced tons of offense and nothing resembling respectability on defense. The teams combined for 958 yds of offense, and another 136 yds in penalties.

It’s worth noting that the Eagles narrowly avoided this list with their game’s final play. Brandon Graham’s fumble recovery for a TD in the middle of a desperation lateral play by the Rams added 8 fantasy points to their weekly total (2 for a turnover, 6 for the score) and move their game from a -2.00 pts tally to 6.00 pts. And my fantasy team thanks them greatly.

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets QB Josh McCown on Sunday posted the seventh negative fantasy pts performance by a starting QB this year, tossing for only 46 yds and turning the ball over twice in a 23-0 loss to the Broncos. McCown had posted 30-plus-pts in his last two games, which makes his fall this week all the more sad. Also, he broke his hand in the third quarter and is done for the season. J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!

** Troy Aikman, Fox football analyst and noted medical expert, had this take when Wentz headed to the locker room with his injury: “You can see he’s walking, which some would say is a good sign, but I’m not so sure.”

You’re right, Troy. I would have felt much better seeing him on crutches. Then I’d know for sure he wasn’t injured.

** During Saturday’s Heisman trophy presentation show, ESPN reporter Tom Rinaldi commented that Oklahoma QB Baker Mayfield had won a lot of awards prior to the ceremony “but you have one pin you decided to wear on your lapel tonight. Tell us about it.”

Mayfield proudly held up his jacket lapel … showing two pins on one side, and one more on the other. In fairness, counting on live TV is hard.

** Headline in the Philly Inquirer on Sunday: “The recent 10-game losing streak may have helped the Flyers bond.”

Hey, you know what might be more useful than bonding over losing? Not bonding but winning. Try it for a change. See if that makes things better.

Only two teams have clinched playoff spots so far (the Eagles and Steelers), meaning 10 more post-season tickets still need to be punched. As of now, 21 teams are still eligible for those spots, including the 5-8 Bengals. Here’s how they get in:

— Cincinnati wins its last three games.
— Buffalo loses its last three.
— Baltimore loses its last three.
— The Chargers or Kansas City lose their last three.
— Oakland loses two of its last three.
— Miami loses two of its last three.
— The Jets lose one of their last three.

If those few simple things happen, the Bengals grab the last AFC wild card spot at 8-8 and enjoy a first-round road playoff game they will inevitable lose by 30.

NFL playoffs! Catch the fever!

Also lost in the Wentz injury on Sunday was the playoff door rapidly closing for the Cowboys. The Eagles clinched the NFC East, while the Cowboys remained mired in a three-way tie for eighth place in the conference. The likelihood of Dallas playing in January is getting dim. But individual players on the team are taking the Philadelphia success with the class and dignity you’d expect, as shown by what their names spell out:

Dallas Cowboys veteran starting lineman Zack Martin
** Snarl on TV: I back misery, satan. I’m glad Wentz tore an ACL.

and ...

Dallas Cowboys Tackle Chaz Green
** A legacy scold — Wentz’s ACL broke? Ha!

and ...

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant
** I brayed: Beloved ACL worse. I cry: Sad Wentz!

You know, it’s all laughs and jokes when I poke fun at the silly words these Dallas players’ dumb names spell out. But when they go after a modern-day saint like Wentz, it fills me with a hatred whose depths knows no bounds. They are truly evil.

** Great week for Dad, who went 3-1 against me on Sunday and is now down only a touchdown in the weekly picks contest. His only blemish was trusting his precious Jets, which cost him 25 pts in the fantasy standings and a chance to pick up another game on me. Some day he’ll find a way to quit them...

** WR Devin Hester, who holds the NFL record for kickoff and punt returns, officially retired on Tuesday.

For the record, I was pretty sure he retired five years ago.

** Wentz had the top selling jersey in the NFL in November. So, there’s that.

Week 14 standings

1 — Foles me Wentz (Capt. Awesome), 1764.20 pts
2 — Animal Crackers (Mom D), 1613.16 pts
3 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 1579.80 pts
4 — Gronky Tonk Man (Joel), 1567.76 pts
5 — Dat CTE Lyfe (Sam), 1527.76 pts
6 — ThePigskin Predators (Dad), 1503.38 pts
7 — Foles v. Sproles (Jo), 1474.42 pts
8 — Cosby's Sleepers (Mike), 1447.54 pts
9 — Tiny Trump Gloves (Jim), 1345.25 pts
10 — SmartyPants on Fire (Paul), 1301.49 pts
11 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1273.03 pts
12 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 1219.83 pts

Another week atop the standings for me, as I posted the highest score in the league this week by more than 22 pts. It pushes my lead to over 150 pts in the yearly tally, and should set up an easy stretch run for my vastly superior team.

Mom D continues to establish her second-place spot too, opening up a 30-plus-pts lead over the bronze medal standings. Three through seven are still anyone’s guess, with one big week potentially propelling one squad well ahead of the pack.

Welcome back to special Saturday editions of Sunday Night football! The NFL has two games on Saturday afternoon and evening, along with their Thursday and Monday games, in their ongoing effort to oversaturate the market. Tune in to watch … the Bears take on the Lions. Ugh. Just set those rosters early, OK?