** The Eagles lose to the Patriots, Bills, and Cardinals to drop to 4-10.
** Then the Eagles win their last two games over the Maryland Racial Slurs and Giants.
** The Slurs also lose three of their other four games: the Bears, Bills, and Cowboys twice.
** The Giants also lose three of their other four games: the Jets, Dolphins, Panthers and Vikings.
** The Cowboys beat the Slurs twice but lose two of their other three games: the Jets, Packers and Bills.
If that happens, the division would be a four-way tie at 6-10, with the Eagles winning the first tiebreaker with a 4-2 division record.
And if you think that’s a ridiculous scenario, let me remind you that the Giants and Slurs are tied for the division lead at 5-6 right now.
QB: Russell Wilson, 45.20 pts -- on Mom Doyle’s bench WR: Doug Baldwin, 30.67 pts -- on Bob’s bench
RB: Adrian Peterson, 30.73 pts -- started by Ant
TE: Julius Thomas, 18.23 pts -- started by Jim
K: Graham Gano, 19.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: Carolina, 23.00 pts -- started by Mom Doyle
D: Ezekiel Ansah, 12.50 pts -- on the wire
Lions QB Matt Stafford missed out on this list by less than 0.5 pts and WR Calvin Johnson by less than 3, which would have put three Lions in the top performers list. It’s almost as if they played a completely lifeless opponent on Thanksgiving.
“Crappy players” edition
3rd place: Chris Harper, -1.66 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Tony Romo, -1.76 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Landry Jones, -2.64 pts -- on the wire
The Eagles did all they could to ruin football on Thanksgiving this year, turning in a remarkably terrible performance in the early game. But even they couldn’t overshadow the joyous, comically uplifting line that Cowboys QB Tony Romo turned in during the 4pm game before he exited with an injury.
Romo was 11 of 21 for 105 yards with three interceptions, zero TDs to his team and two to Carolina defenders. The 17 points off turnovers were actually just one more point than the Panthers offense got on its own in their 33-14 drubbing of Dallas.
Romo boasted a 27.0 QB rating … if you assume he was playing for the Cowboys. But, if you assume he was actually aiming for Carolina players, then his stat line becomes 3 of 21 for 85 yards with 11 interceptions and two TDs, a QB rating of 36.1. Romo was 33 percent better as a second Panthers QB than he was as a Cowboys signal caller.
Of course, it’s worth noting that former Cowboys QB Troy Aikman, who did not play on Sunday, had a QB rating of 39.6 (zero of 1 for zero yards). So Romo would have been a better QB if he had never taken the field.
And, with all that in mind, Steelers backup QB Jones and the Philly defense (-4.00 pts) were still worse than Romo in fantasy scoring.
** During a Fox pregame show interview Sunday, Cardinals S Tyrann Mathieu recounted the mistakes he has made in his life (read: legal issues) but said he has no regrets. “You have to fall down if you want to get back up,” he said.
While I appreciate the determination, a much better plan is not to fall down in the first place. Football players usually have a goal of moving forward, not getting tackled behind the line of scrimmage so they can try again on second down.
** On Monday night’s halftime show, ESPN blowhard Chris Berman referred to the Browns QB as “Josh ‘tears of’ McCown” and I laughed because it’s still 1999 and I recently suffered severe brain damage.
** Eagles coach Chip Kelly this week denied rumors that he was in discussions for the open USC job because gawd forbid somebody think he is wanted somewhere.
This weekend, hosts on WIP in Philadelphia were asking caller what they thought they’d be thankful for in local sports next year, with the explanation that there isn’t anything to be thankful for sports-wise in 2015.
But that’s a false premise. There were plenty of things to celebrate this year in Philly sports. Just consider:
** Temple football has been surprisingly awesome.
** The Phillies, picked by many to lose 100 games, did not. (Just 99)
** The Eagles did beat Dallas. (One out of two tries).
** The Flyers may have reliable set of goalies. (But everyone else stinks.)
** Temple football has been surprisingly awesome.
** The 76ers have not been relegated to the minor leagues. (Yet.)
** The Philly Soul made it to the conference championship. (Where they were upset).
** Temple football has been surprisingly awesome.
** The 76ers haven’t accidentally killed any fans. (Yet).
** Temple football has been surprisingly awesome.
Not included in the above list is the Temple football team, which plays for the AAC conference title this Saturday. So there’s plenty of good news on the field still.
(But seriously this is the worst sports year anywhere ever.)
Rumor has it with Romo’s latest injury, the Cowboys may be forced to turn to their practice squad QB Kellen Moore in coming weeks just to field a team. What does the unknown signal caller’s name say about the rotating cast of quarterbacks?
Fourth-string passer Kellen Moore
** Gluts of morons. Their peers rankle.
Hold on, a second, that sounds familiar. Who is he replacing again?
Tony Romo
** Toy moron
I thought so. In fact, if you look the other QBs the Cowboys have started this year…
Cowboys signal caller Matt Cassell
** Classy, swell belts -- A galactic moron
Cowboys replacement passer Brandon Weeden
** Scene be morons, a pretend bad screenplay. Wow
Huh. I think I found your problem. Maybe stop hiring morons?
** Went 1-2 against Dad in the picks this week, so my descent continues. I’m down three on the year to him now, with only five weeks left to stage a comeback. The good news is I can still win the NFC East.
** Now that Thanksgiving is over, the NFL can stop it’s pointless Thursday night games and just go back to … Ha! just kidding. The Packers and Lions play Thursday, because both played last Thursday, and the NFL still hates you.
** Hahaha the Patriots lost in overtime to a novice QB an now they're gonna destroy the Eagles by 70 uuuuggghhh.
Week 12 standings 1 -- Lake Weed Monsters (Dad) -- 1562.59 pts
2 -- Gettin' Chippy (Jo) -- 1462.02 pts
3 -- 1.21 Chip-a-watts (Ant) -- 1418.78 pts
4 -- Yelp for help (Mom Doyle) -- 1399.63 pts
5 -- hippo fantasy (Sam) -- 1389.02 pts
6 -- Cosby's Sleepers (Mike) -- 1343.62 pts
7 -- Clinton's Email (Jim) -- 1269.54 pts
8 -- Eat Drink & D Murray (Capt Awesome) -- 1261.80 pts
9 -- Blue Collar Killers (Jeff) -- 1214.00 pts
10 -- Bethlehem Moravians (Bob) -- 1202.01 pts
11 -- May Pay Attention (Paul) -- 1106.80 pts
12 -- Heap Big Chief Reid (Joel) -- 1095.36 pts
I had my best week of the year and fell one spot in the standings. Wonderful.
The big mover again this week was Anthony, who has drug his team up to third place and within shouting distance of the top spot. Joanna almost closed the gap between first and second within 100 pts (one more catch would have done it) thanks to a mediocre week by Dad. And Mom Doyle finished last this week, which serves her right for trusting Eli Manning.
December football is where legends are born -- get your team ready for the stretch run.
1 comment:
And yet FiveThirtyEight was begging us all to believe Romo was key just days before...
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