But the 2014 Eagles have an excellent chance of matching that, after Sunday’s brutal loss to the Cowboys. Philadelphia currently sits in 7th place, just a game behind the Packers, Seahawks, Lions and Cowboys. But of those four squads, the only team they can win tiebreakers over is the Cowboys (which would also give them the NFC East title). A tie with any of the rest means a trip to the golf course instead of the Super Bowl road.
But that’s not all! Of the nine teams that missed the playoffs despite double-digit wins, none have repeated that feat. But the Eagles, who missed the 1991 playoffs with a 10-6 record, could be the first.
And the Eagles have an outside shot of boasting the highest-scoring offense in the league and not getting a post-season invite. They’re currently in fourth, but a mere 26 points behind the first-place Patriots.
Kinda makes that 4th-quarter goal-line failure against the 49ers in week 4 hurt a lot more, doesn’t it?
QB: Drew Brees, 33.20 pts -- started by Mike WR: Odell Beckham Jr., 38.41 pts -- started by Dad
RB: Jeremy Hill, 28.07 pts -- started by Sam
TE: Greg Olsen, 17.33 pts -- started by Dad
K: Connor Barth, 18.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: Buffalo, 27.00 pts -- on Dad’s bench
D: William Gay, 13.00 pts -- on the wire
With the exception of Brees, I’m not sure any of these players were on the top 20 list at their position at the start of the year...
It’s not often that a wideout is the top scorer on the week, but a three-TD, 12-catch, 143-yard performance against the Maryland Racial Slurs will do that for you. Beckham actually accounted for 50 percent of the Giants’ offense in the game and 75 percent of the team’s points on the day.
Man, that guy is gonna be great when they pair him with a good QB.
“Just bad” edition
3rd place: Kyle Juszczyk, -0.73 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Philadelphia, -1.00 pts -- started by Ant
1st place: Miami, -4.00 pts -- on my bench
Skipping right over the awful, awful, awful Eagles defensive performance this week...
Juszczyk, the backup FB/RB for the Ravens, might have the worst anagramming name in the history of the NFL. Seriously. Two z’s and a ck? Ugh. Best one I could come up with for “Ravens’ back Kyle Juszczyk” was “Very balky neck, jazz sucks.” Hope doesn’t get traded to New Orleans with an attitude like that.
In case you missed the schedule this week, NFL network will be showing two games this week. The first will be Thursday Night Football, featuring the Titans and Jaguars (loser gets the #1 draft pick, most likely).
Then, two days later, the Eagles and Maryland Racial Slurs square off at 430pm in “a special Saturday edition of Thursday Night Football.” Not “Saturday Night Football.” That would be absurd.
I’ve complained in past years about NFL Network declaring Saturday nights a special edition of Thursday night, instead of, you know, a weekend night. But this year’s special “Thursday night” occurs neither on Thursday nor at night, since the game starts at 430 in the afternoon.
The next logical step is for the network to go even further next year, and get rid of the football as well. Start calling movie marathons of “Happy Gilmore” at 3am on Tuesday the new special edition of Thursday Night Football. Or ice skating. Or simply press conferences with Roger Goodell. Feel the excitement!
So, with that special Thursday/Saturday game and the actual Thursday game, NFL will have games on four of the next six nights. But, if you know the professional football powers-that-be, that’s just not enough attention. Here’s their proposed weekly schedule for next year:
** Tuesday Night Football: Analysts take Monday morning quarterbacking a step further, offering how criticism of the previous day’s NFL analysis by sportswriters.
** Wednesday Night Football: Three hours of an empty stadium, with close ups of the grass growing.
** Friday Night Football: Updated video each week of Tim Tebow making phone calls to pro teams, begging for one more chance.
** Saturday Night Football: Live feeds of NFL scouts watching college games and talking about how much more fun those players will be in the pros.
** All week: ESPN to expand it’s weekly NFL-focused programming from 1,700 hours to 1,701 hours.
Tough break for the Cowboys, who won on Sunday but lost the league’s leading rusher, DeMarco Murray, to a broken hand. They’ll have to turn to a committee of Lance Dunbar and Joseph Randle to finish out the season. We’ve already anagrammed Dubar before (worth rechecking for the “unbalanced boob” joke), but what about Randle? What does he think of the Cowboys makeshift running game?
Dallas running back Joseph Randle
** Gnarled saps churn. A bland joke, nil.
Remember -- a Cowboys loss and two Eagles wins gives them the division. So, here’s hoping the Colts bring their A game.
** Down three to Dad, and my faith in the Titans will never return. Never. Except maybe this week against the Jaguars.
** Seriously, Colts. Do your stinking job and help Philadelphia out.
Week 15 standings 1 --- Ouch My Zach Ertz --- 2114.17 pts
2 --- Stewie Griffins Head --- 2111.30 pts
3 --- Sheldon's Big Money --- 2094.78 pts
4 --- Gettin' Chippy --- 2074.09 pts
5 --- The Maltese Falcons --- 1937.09 pts
6 --- Tickle me Romo --- 1924.37 pts
7 --- Blue Collar Killers --- 1826.21 pts
8 --- Car full of Clowneys --- 1789.76 pts
9 --- king hippo --- 1775.80 pts
10 --- Show Me Your TDs --- 1768.64 pts
11 --- I Mildly Like WRs --- 1389.08 pts
Now we’re talking. Another lead change in the league, and four squads within 40 pts of the lead with just two weeks left to play.
Mike left the country this week (not forever) but left behind the top-scoring effort of the weekend. Dad’s Peyton Manning-led squad is starting to show its age, with only one passing TD the last two weeks. Jim is holding tight, and I have no explanation how Joanna has climbed up that close.
Everyone else, enjoy the show. One of these four will be your brand new Awesome Cup champion.
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