Fantasy league 2014 -- week 7 recap

A week off for the Eagles doesn’t mean a week of inactivity. Here’s a look at what some of the team did during their bye week:

-- Nick Foles: Threw two INTs but still somehow won the bye week.
-- Cary Williams: Complained about how tiring the off-week schedule is.
-- Chip Kelly: Practiced his speed reading.
-- Cody Parkey: Got paid for his time off, unlike Alex Henery.
-- LeSean McCoy: Went searching for an offensive line.
-- Zach Ertz: Ertzed.
-- Trent Cole: Still didn’t give up any TDs to the Giants this year.

QB: Russell Wilson, 41.12 pts -- started by Jo
WR: Demaryius Thomas, 31.40 pts -- started by Jeff
RB: Matt Forte, 27.40 pts -- started by Mike
TE: Gavin Escobar, 19.33 pts -- on the wire
K: Nick Folk, 15.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: Baltimore, 19.00 pts -- on Joel’s bench
D: Everson Griffen, 11.50 pts -- on the wire

Wilson became the first QB in NFL history to throw for 300 yards and run for 100 yards in a game. And he lost. The moral of this story is that life isn’t fair.


“Defenses we started” edition
3rd place: Seattle, -1.00 pts -- started by Joel
1st place (tie): Carolina, -4.00 pts -- on the wire
1st place (tie): San Francisco, -4.00 pts -- started by Ant

Seriously, we should all just bench our defenses. Bob was the only two coach to pick up double-digit points from his team defense, and he only got 11. And I can’t remember the last week where someone in the league didn’t lose points by starting a defense. And I’m not going to check. That’s waaaay too much work.


Ugh. Just everything about Peyton breaking the record on Sunday was unbearable.

Before Manning broke the career TD passing mark (509, a number that Drew Brees will hit in four more years), Al Michaels called it “the greatest record in all of football.” I’d put it just above the single season rushing and receiving TD records, but honestly I remember the yardage leaders more in all three categories. At any rate, it’s a great record, but we’re not talking baseball’s all-time HR record, a figure that even casual fans has some awareness about.

Chris Collingsworth said the players on the field were clearly antsy “to see who would enter the record books with Peyton.” Quick quiz -- who caught Brett Farve’s record-breaking TD pass? If you answered “who cares,” you’re right. And for posterity, “who cares” also caught Peyton’s record TD pass. What a career for good old number something.

At halftime, Bob Costas started the studio show by notifying viewers that Peyton Manning had broken the all-time passing TD mark, in case you woke up from a coma in the previous five minutes.

And then the second half may or may not have happened, because Peyton Manning.

The Rams beat the Seahawks this week.
The Eagles beat the Rams two weeks ago.
The 49ers beat the Eagles last month.
The Broncos beat the 49ers on Sunday.
The Seahawks beat the Broncos last month.
The Rams beat the Seahawks this week.
The Vikings beat the Rams last month.
The Bills beat the Vikings on Sunday.
The Chargers beat the Bills last month.
The Chiefs beat the Chargers on Sunday.
The Titans beat the Chiefs last month.
The Cowboys beat the Titans last month.
The 49ers beat the Cowboys last month.
The Cardinals beat the 49ers last month.
The Broncos beat the Cardinals three weeks ago.
The Seahawks beat the Broncos last month.
The Rams beat the Seahawks this week.

And everybody but the Raiders has a win.


On Sunday, Cowboys RB DeMarco Murray set a new NFL record with his seventh consecutive 100-yard game to start the season. He also logged his 187th rushing attempt of the year, putting him 60 ahead of the next closest RB and on pace to break the single-season record of 416 rushes. Can his body withstand the punishment?

Short answer: no.
Long answer:

Dallas Cowboys Starting RB DeMarco Murray
** Brow scar: All da carrys may ground me to bits

Forgive him for misspelling “carries” -- the guy is already exhausted.


** Went 1-2 against Dad this week, losing both games by one-point. I am the king of moral victories. I’m also down three on the season to the Peyton Manning apologist.

** Thursday night game this week features the Chargers playing the Broncos. Who will catch Manning’s record-setting 511th TD pass????

Week 7 standings

1 --- Tickle me Romo --- 960.38 pts
2 --- Stewie Griffins Head --- 941.29 pts
3 --- Ouch My Zach Ertz --- 926.16 pts
4 --- Sheldon's Big Money --- 919.02 pts
5 --- Blue Collar Killers --- 918.09 pts
6 --- Gettin' Chippy --- 906.57 pts
7 --- The Maltese Falcons --- 906.35 pts
8 --- Show Me Your TDs --- 881.03 pts
9 --- king hippo --- 796.72 pts
10 --- Car full of Clowneys --- 786.81 pts
11 --- I Mildly Like WRs --- 749.91 pts

Dad’s three up in our weekly picks but just 19 pts behind me in the Awesome Cup standings. Credit St. Peyton’s big Sunday night and a healthy stable of RBs with his rise. Seventh place is less than 55 pts behind. Much like the NFL, there are no really good teams out there, just a bunch of half-decent ones.

Unlike the NFL, though, our league doesn’t hate you enough to put games on Thursday nights.