Fantasy league 2014 -- week 6 recap

Late last week, Giants DE Jason Pierre-Paul said the 4-1 Eagles “could easily be 0-4” on the season. Given his math challenges, it’s worth studying Philly’s big 27-0 drubbing of New Jersey on Sunday a little closer:

** It has been more than a year since the Giants last scored a TD against the Eagles (Oct. 6, 2013, in a 36-21 loss to Philly).

** The Giants had more team season-ending injuries (one) than team points (zero) on Sunday.

** The Giants offense traveled the length of the field two and a half times on Sunday (253 yards of offense) but never found the end zone.

** If the Giants had played any other team on any other week and produced the same offensive totals, they would have lost to all of them except their New Jersey brethren. The Jets were left without a score in a week five loss to the Chargers, the only other NFL shutout this season.

** Contrary to Giants’ team predictions, the Eagles outscored the Giants by 27 points.

Pierre-Paul finished the game with zero sacks and four tackles, so maybe that’s the 0-4 he was thinking about.

QB: Joe Flacco, 42.24 pts -- on Bobert’s bench
WR: TY Hilton, 29.87 pts -- started by Dad
RB: Matt Forte, 35.13 pts -- started by Mike
TE: Jace Amaro, 20.53 pts -- on the waiver wire
K: Stephen Gostkowski, 17.00 pts -- started by me
DEF: Philadelphia, 25.00 pts -- started by Ant
D: JJ Watt, 15.50 pts -- started by Bobert

Houston DE JJ Watt has three TDs on the year (two defensive scores, one receiving TD). That’s more touchdowns than LeVeon Bell, Andre Ellington, Adrian Peterson, Montee Ball, Ryan Matthews, or LeSean McCoy … all RBs taken in the first two rounds of most fantasy drafts.

And kudos to Anthony, who finally grabbed the surging Philly defense and put it to good use this week. For the season, the Eagles are the #1 fantasy defense with 109 pts (27 pts more than second place). In reality, they’re the 22nd-best in points allowed. So, yay fantasy football.

“Playing defense stinks” edition
3rd place: Carolina, -1.00 pts -- on the wire
1st place (tie): Cincinnati, -4.00 pts -- on my bench
1st place (tie): Buffalo, -4.00 pts -- on Dad’s bench

Defenses kinda suck this year. I’m beginning to think that starting the Eagles on their bye week might be a viable strategy, because at least they won't cost you any points.


Bounty is selling NFL paper towels. Not with team mascots or anything, just the NFL logo and yard markers. From their press release:

Much like the unpredictability of the football season, spills can happen at any time. But that doesn’t mean a flag should be thrown on your fun. Whether you’re tailgating at the stadium or carrying your team spirit home, with strength and absorbency packed into each sheet, Bounty NFL Prints leave you with one less worry as you prep for the game or clean up after it.

I’m sorry for making you read that.

Also, with all due respect to pro football, when I think of people who know how to handle domestic messes, the NFL is currently at the bottom of the list. Just saying.

\Washington fans are still mourning the Natinals early exit from the MLB playoffs this year, lamenting the “DC curse” that has left them with the longest championship drought of any of the four-pro-sports cities. Among the many problems with that statement (Minnesota’s drought is actually three months longer) is the fact that DC became a four-pro-sports city within the last decade, muting some of their pain and suffering. In an effort to accurately gauge where they are on the championship drought list, here’s a look at the cities that have waited the longest by sports seasons:

1 -- Cleveland (NFL champs in 1964)
143 seasons: 47 NFL, 50 MLB, 2 NHL, 44 NBA
The reigning suffering champs. No one else is even close to the number of unsuccessful sports seasons they’ve suffered through without a crown.

2 -- San Diego (AFL champs in 1963)
101 seasons: 50 NFL, 44 MLB, 7 NBA
No hockey team, but plenty of unfulfilled dreams out in San Diego. You could argue their drought goes further back, since an AFL crown isn’t a major championship today. But they count it, so we do too.

3 -- Buffalo (AFL champs in 1965)
97 seasons: 48 NFL, 41 NHL, 8 NBA
Another AFL championship. But you could argue losing four Super Bowls and one Stanley Cup Finals in the 90s earns them a little higher complaining rights.

4 -- Milwaukee (NBA champs in 1971)
84 seasons: 42 MLB, 42 NBA
The Packers play 100 miles away from Green Bay, so they technically aren’t a Milwaukee team. But you know these fans all root for them, so their drought is really more like 6 or 7 seasons.

5 -- Minneapolis (MLB champs in 1991)
80 seasons: 21 MLB, 21 NFL, 15 NHL, 23 NBA
And none of their teams look like they’re getting close to a championship soon. Ouch.

6 -- Washington DC (NFL champs in 1991)
76 seasons: 21 NFL, 10 MLB, 22 NHL, 23 NBA
Fun fact: The Nationals have never won a postseason series, but they still thought they were the favorites to win the World Series this year.

Oakland (67 seasons) and Atlanta (66 seasons) are just a hair behind, and the Royals have a chance to end Kansas City’s 57-season championship drought (All NFL and MLB seasons there). Houston rounds out the top 10, with 53 seasons of no rings.

For the record, Philly’s 25-year championship drought equated to 99 seasons of disappointment, broken by the 2008 Phillies. Not to say that DC fans have little right to whine, but keep it in a little perspective. You’re still not close to Cleveland.

The Cowboys upset the Seahawks this week, setting off another round of “Dallas is back!” news stories from the insipid sports media. Because, clearly, early season success always means late season heroics too. But, don’t take my word for it. Just look at what those recent victories spell out:

Dallas’ impressive September/October win streak
** Valiant pep work. Bitter smear is December losses.

Remember -- Dallas has had a chance to get into the postseason each of the last four years with a win in their regular season finale. And they’ve lost every one.


** Dad picked up another one on me this weekend, because Pittsburg always beats Cleveland except when I pick the Steelers to win easy. Also, I’m just giving up on picking the Bears.

** The Jets on the season so far have 183 more yards of offense (1,820 yds) than on punts (1,637 yds). I was gonna do something with that, but making fun of the Jets is like picking on a guy in a wheelchair. Yeah, it’s fun, but he might run over your toe with one of his wheels.

** This just in: The Giants still haven’t scored any points against the Eagles.

Week 6 standings

1 --- Tickle me Romo --- 842.09 pts
2 --- Blue Collar Killers --- 806.80 pts
3 --- Sheldon's Big Money --- 799.56 pts
4 --- The Maltese Falcons --- 793.52 pts
5 --- Stewie Griffins Head --- 790.75 pts
6 --- Show Me Your TDs --- 780.98 pts
7 --- Ouch My Zach Ertz --- 767.88 pts
8 --- Gettin' Chippy --- 762.61 pts
9 --- king hippo --- 712.12 pts
10 --- Car full of Clowneys --- 674.33 pts
11 --- I Mildly Like WRs --- 666.07 pts

If not for Colin Kaepernick’s big night on Monday, my lead would have been whittled down to a Vegas point spread. Jim’s gigantic week (191 pts) and Bob’s impressive performance (179 pts) put them both within 50 pts of the top spot. And Jeff just keeps hanging around.

If the playoffs were to start today … well, we’d all be pretty pissed off, because less than half the season is over. I mean, that would be an absurdly short season.