Fantasy football recap, week 15

Time for another game...

Pro Bowler or character from Starship Troopers
** Brian Moorman: AFC punter or fictional bug killer?
Answer
** Dizzy Flores: NFC defensive tackle or fictional bug killer?
Answer
** Jeff Saturday: AFC center or fictional bug killing sergeant?
Answer
** Aaron Kampman: NFC special teamer or fictional bug victim?
Answer
** Zander Barcalow: AFC safety or fictional bug victim?
Answer
** Brian Dawkins: NFC safety or universe destroyer?
Answer

Now back to our regular programming...

--- Top performers
QB: Michael Vick, 37.08 points -- started by Eric
WR: Marvin Harrison, 31.73 points -- started by Jo
TE: Desomnd Clark, 27.33 points -- started by Joel
K: Mike Nugent, 17.00 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
DEF: Tennessee, 34.00 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
        And we're back to not mentioning certain Chargers RBs who may or may not have totaled 33.23 points this week.

--- Worst performers, QBs who played half a game
Third place: Matt Schaub, -0.68 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
Second place: Joey Harrington, -2.50 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
First place: David Carr, -2.92 points -- sittin' on the waiver wire
        Combined, these guys threw for 177 yards, seven interceptions, no TDs and three losses. That's even worse than Eli Manning, who had 282 yards, two picks, no TDs and only one loss this week.

--- Guess who might not play this week?
        Fred Taylor pulled up lame on a breakaway run during Sunday's game against the Titans. It's the second time he has failed to finish a game he has started this year, and team officials don't know if he'll be OK for this week's game.
        Taylor, long known for his groin durability, said he didn't pull his hamstring, but "sometimes they just spasm." Also, sometimes your groin is made of porcelin, and that adds to it.
        This year Taylor's injury propensity has even spread beyond his loins, as Jaguars backup RB Maurice Jones Drew went down in the same game with a mystery leg injury.
        And yet, somehow he's an alternate for the Pro-Bowl. If Dawkins looks across the field at him, Taylor is liable to end up in the hospital.

--- Stats I was going to look up, but ESPN.com did it first
** The Titans this week had the ball on offense for just 15:38 but won thanks to three defensive scores. That’s the lowest time of possession for a winning team during the 30 seasons in which that statistic has been officially compiled.
** The Bears have never lost a game at Soldier Field in which they held a lead of 21 or more points, winning all 45 times that has happened. It took overtime this week to keep the streak alive, but a win is a win.
** Rex Grossman passed for 339 yards on Sunday. It was the Bears first 300-yard passing game in the last 72 games. For comparison’s sake, it has been one game since the Eagles last had a 300-yard passing game.

--- Andy Reid blown call of the week award
        I'm giving it to the West Coast this week, because starting football at 10 am on Sunday is just sick. Anyone who decides to live there blew making a critical life decision on whether to co-exist with the real world or lag three hours behind.
        Honorable mention goes to the five of you who started a player who didn't register one measly point. You know who you are.

--- Stupidest thing I heard this week
        The University of Washington basketball team head coach was on 950 AM, and was asked by the coach if injuries were going to hurt his team in upcoming games. His response: "Well, the guys who aren't hurt should be fine to play. The one who have injuries that are serious probably won't be contributing much."
        Thanks, coach. Wasn't sure about that one.

--- Stupidest thing Joanna heard this week
        Since I was watching the big Eagles win in a bar, Jo had to relay to me the dumbest things said during the broadcast.
** Strike one: Troy Aikman remarked that "Buckhalter is actually a faster back than Brian Westbrook. Defintely not quicker, but he is faster."
** Strike two: Aikman follwed that up later in the game by observing "Teams that score touchdowns tend to win games, teams that don't tend to lose."
** Strike three: Before the game started Pam Oliver had a lenghty piece on the new Eagles QB that included "Life is pretty good for Jeff Garcia these days, he hasn't been horrible since taking over for McNabb."
        When I got home, blood was trickling out her ears.

--- Our standings so far
First place: Red Shirteys, Eric -- 2100.28 points
Second place: JapanUSRelations, Ant -- 2068.23 points
Third place: HoF Bus Drivers, Jo -- 2033.26 points
        In case you haven't figured it out, this is really a three team race at this point. Mike is less than 80 points behind, but no one else has a chance at the top three. And Eric is slowly pulling away...

--- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
        T.O. has had a busy week, what with all the spitting and denying he spit on people and getting fined and not making the Pro-Bowl, so I figured I'd help by giving him an extra special set of anagrams this week.
        ** Terrell Owens, spitter **
-- "Repellent twit errs so"
        ** Terrell Owens, professional bawler **
-- "Fallen WR tries, sees no real pro-bowl"
        ** Dallas millionaire Terrell Owens **
-- "Not a man. A slow, ill, lie seller. Rob, I do."
        Gawd, I hate that guy.

--- For the record
** Even though I was taveling, I did find time for the professional column. I even managed a shout-out to the birds this week.
** Two weeks left, and I'm up three games on Dad. I'm just saying...
** Seattle media item one: This weekend, after major storms blew through the Northwest region, Seattle's Channel 5 touted how they kept everyone up to date on the latest power outages “in your neighborhood.” Funny, I didn’t see that report. Maybe it’s because my power was out.
** Seattle media item two: In all of their promos, sports radio 950 AM uses the clip “And the Seahawks win the game!” yelled excitedly by local sportscaster … Harry Kalas??? What? Don’t you guys have some local announcer who’d be a little more Seattlish? Seriously, we don't use Steve Largent for basketball previews, so don't steal our baseball guy for your lousy team.