Fantasy football recap, week 12

--- Top performers
QB: Tony #$!@ Romo, 41.84 points -- now sitting on Eric's bench
RB: Joseph Addai, 45.57 points -- started by Jim
WR: Marty Booker, 26.67 points -- sitting on Heidi's bench
TE: Ben Watson, 17.93 points -- started by Heidi
K: Mike Nugent, 17.00 points -- sitting on the waiver wire
DEF: Baltimore, 36.00 points -- started by Heidi
        If only Heidi had picked up Nugent too...

--- Worst performers, QB edition
Third place: Charlie Frye, -0.06 points -- started by Joel
Second place: Rex Grossman, -0.86 points -- started by me
First place: A.J. Feeley, -1.16 points -- sitting on the waiver wire
        I was convinced Matt Hasslebeck was going to be on this list too. He was worth -3.40 points in the first half of that Monday night game (three interceptions, one fumble and little else) but he threw three touchdowns in the second half and got a two-point conversion to end up scoring 19.48 points.

--- The only bright spot of that Eagles disaster
        If you haven't seen the Madden 07 commercial where Colts TE Dallas Clark gets laid out by a virtual Eagles defense, you need to go take a peek now before you read anymore.
        Clark publicly complained in the week leading up to the game that the commercial "made him look like a punk" and didn't show how tough he was, apparently oblivious to the fact that it's a video game, no one could tell it was his virtual double, and it's absolutely hilarious.
        Fast forward to the actual game: The Eagles defense was absolutely inept, failing to stop just about anything the Colts offense threw at them ... except for Dallas Clark, who had one catch for four yards before being knocked silly by the Birds. He's out for the season with a torn ACL.
        And that, ladies and gentelmen, is the definition of poetic justice.

--- The Andy Reid blown call of the week award
        This week it goes to NBC, who three weeks ago looked at the schedule and thought the Colts-Eagles game would be more exciting for football fans than the Bears-Patriots match-up.
        Even before McNabb went down, Philly fans knew that was going to be a mess. And do we need to see more Mannings? Way to use that flex scheduling to your advantage, guys. I'm guessing about 20 people sat through that whole game, and 19 of them are sickos who live in Pennsylvania.
        I'm also related to at least five of them and can name three more.
        Honorable mention goes to Neal yet again, who clearly hasn't looked at his team in about a month. He left a WR slot open yet again, started a QB who hasn't played in three weeks and left more than 47 points on his bench.

--- Stupidest thing I heard this week
        In the third quarter of the Giants game, right before the G-men collapsed, TE Jeremey Shockey caught a seven-yard pass. Here was play-by-play man Kenny Albert's call:
        "Shockey with his first catch of the day! (pause) So that gives him four catches for about 30 yards."
        Those details aren't important when you're calling the game. It's all about the excitement you bring as a play-by-play guy.
        The stupidest thing Joanna heard this week was a caller to WIP, who said the Eagles should think about using a draft pick on a reliable back-up QB. His suggestion was to use a third-rounder on a guy you might not be thinking about -- Ohio State QB Troy Smith -- because he thinks the guy will be pretty good.
        I disagree. If Smith, the obvious Heisman trophy winner and the best QB in college football, drops to the fourth round, maybe they should consider it. Instead, I'd like to see them trade that third-rounder for Peyton Manning, to use as a backup, of course.

--- "Who is LaDanian Tomlinson better than?" stats of the week
*** This week, LT had more TD passes (one) than QBs Rex Grossman, Ben Roethlisberger, Trent Green, Mike Vick and Phillip Rivers combined (zero).
*** This year, LT has more receiving TDs (three) than Larry Fitzgerald (two), Antwaan Randle El (two), Randy McMichael (one) and Jason Whitten (one).
*** This year, LT has 26 total touchdowns (if you include those two TD passes.) That's more touchdowns than Jacksonville, Kansas City, the Giants, Green Bay, Tennessee, Washington, Atlanta, St. Louis, Detroit, Minnesota, Miami, Denver, San Francisco, Buffalo, Houston, Arizona, Carolina, Cleveland, Tampa Bay and Oakland. That's 20 teams, for those of you counting at home.

--- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
        The Cowboys made a big move this week, dropping kicker Mike Vanderjadt in an attempt to spur their stuttering special teams. Will it work? Just look at the hidden message behind the signing of "Dallas Cowboys brand new kicker Martin Gramatica" and see:
*** Grim news: Bad carny karma-killer can't aid cow boast. ***
        Is there any word that better describes Gramatica than "carny?"
        Seriously, who thinks signing a Gramatica solves any problem?

--- Our standings so far
First place: JapanUSRelations, Ant -- 1623.18 points
Second place: HoF Bus Drivers, Jo -- 1619.95 points
Third place: Red Shirteys, Eric -- 1619.28 points
        Jo took a major stumble this week and needed a big push on Monday night just to stay ahead of Eric. Anthony, meanwhile, is very proud of his team's move to reclaim first, but he keeps forgeting there's a 500-point penalty at the end of the year for using the Dallas defense each week. Once that's factored in, he'll be down near my level.

--- For the record
*** I haven't been fired yet: The professional column is up.
*** There's another Thursday game this week -- Ravens vs the Bungles. Please set your rosters accordingly. Dad, I'm taking the Ravens.