Fantasy football recap, week 11

        Let's try another game, shall we?

--- "Who am I?" quiz of the week
*** I suffered a season ending leg injury in this week's game.
*** I'm well known in the Philadelphia area.
*** I went to college at Syracuse University.
*** I'm a pro-Bowler and a respected African American celebrity.
*** I get sick in Jacksonville a lot.
*** My first name starts with D-O-N-O-V.
        Give up? It's Donovin Darius, safety for the Jacksonville Jaguars. He grew up in Camden and graduated from Syracuse in 1997. He broke his ankle on Monday night.
        Why, who did you think it was?

        Back to our regularly scheduled program...

--- Top performers
QB: Tom Brady, 32.36 points -- sitting on Jeff's bench
WR: Lee Evans, 40.67 points -- sitting on Eric's bench
TE: L.J. Smith, 16.80 points -- started by Ant
K: Josh Scobee, 15.00 points -- started by Eric
DEF: Carolina, 32.00 points -- started by Joanna
        I told you -- I'm not listing the top RB again until it's not LaDanian Tomlinson (42.43 points).

--- Worst performers, players we started edition
Third place (tie): Randy Moss, 0.00 points -- started by Mike
Third place (tie): Alex Smith, 0.00 points -- started by Jeff
Second place: Drew Bennett, -1.00 points -- started by Heidi
First place: Ronnie Brown, -1.80 points -- started by Jeff
        Jeff gets two of the worst performers, sits the best QB, and still manages to outscore most of the league. That's just not fair.

--- The Andy Reid blown call of the week
        Neal almost got this for a second week in a row, this time by starting three players who didn't play and leaving another roster spot empty (that's four goose eggs, a league record!).
        But, really, does anyone deserve this more than big fat Andy? Third and goal from the one-inch line, he calls a pass play and the ball is intercepted. Tennessee didn't even defend the run on the play -- watch it again, and you'll see half the team drop back into coverage.
        On third and an inch, he won't call a run. If he had Barry Sanders, he wouldn't call a run. If he was coaching a sprint team, he wouldn't call a run. If it's third and 15, he'll call a run.

--- Things I'm looking forward to now that the Eagles don't have to worry about the playoffs
*** Worrying about the 2008 season: McNabb might be out for up to a year, so I've already written off 2007. And they have to play the Cardinals in 2008, which is a game that I'm predicting, two years in advance, they will lose.
*** The inevitable resigning of Koy Detmer: It has been 10 years since the Eagles made it through a full season without at least one Detmer showing up on the sidelines. You know it'll happen again in a few weeks.
*** The rest of the Flyers season: Just kidding. Nobody is looking forward to that.
*** Draftsgiving Day: Only 158 days until the draft. This site is already predicting that Philly will pick University of Pittsburgh CB Darrelle Revis with its first-round selection, but they'd be fools to pass up Florida State LB Buster Davis.

--- Stupidest things I heard this week
        It's the all Ohio State edition, because the big win was full of awful commentary.
        With the Buckeyes leading 28-24, commentator Brent Mussberger started talking about "how great these defenses are playing." He brought it up again in the fourth quarter, when the score was 35-31.
        At the start of the third quarter, after Mario Manningham caught a short pass, Mussberger announced "That's the first catch for him since the Wolverines opening drive in the first quarter." It wasn't; Manningham had one catch in the second quarter. About five minutes later, Manningham caught another one, and analyst Kirk Herbstriet announced, "That's the first catch for him since the Wolverines opening drive." He was also wrong.
        At one point late in the fourth, analyst Bob Davie blurted out, "I'm not sure, but I don't think the Buckeyes have forced a turnover in this game." It's a shame that's the kind of thing you just can't look up, especially not when you have all those stat guys up in the press box with you.
        I'd love to see those three take on ESPN's Monday Night Football crew in Celebrity Jeopardy. The winner would get to donate money to brain cancer research. The losers would be us.

--- "Most passing yards in a loss" stat of the week
*** Saints QB Drew Brees, week 11 -- 510 yards, lost 31-16.
*** Bengals QB Carson Palmer, week 10 -- 440 yards, lost 49-41.
*** Steelers QB Big Ben, week 9 -- 433 yards, lost 31-20.
*** Phins QB Joey Harrington, week 7 -- 413 yards, lost 34-24.
        So far this year, Peyton Manning (week 2) is the only QB to pass for 400 yards and win a game.

--- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
        I can’t express to you just how evil the Cowboys are, so I’ll refer you to “Dallas Cowboys free safety Keith Davis” to show you what kinds of things these awful people do:
*** Evil bastards eat child off a wok. Yes. YES! ***
        They make me sick.
        By the way, if you still doubt the power of anagrams, I refer you to this week’s Opus. I've been telling you about their cosmic knowledge for years now, but maybe you'll understand it more in comic strip form.

--- The standings so far
First place: HoF Bus Drivers, Joanna -- 1523.87 points
Second place: Red Shirteys, Eric -- 1479.61 points
Third place: JapanUSRelations, Ant -- 1470.24 points
        Can Anthony stay in the top three after losing McNabb for the season?
        Short answer: No.
        Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

--- For the record
*** The professional column is still alive.
*** Dad is three down in the year-long pick 'em and starting to slide...I'm just saying...
*** Don't forget to set your lineups for the Thursday games. I will make fun of you if you somehow forget to start Larry Johnson.