--- Top performers
QB: Drew Brees, 31.46 points – sitting on Jeff’s bench
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, 39.13 points – started by Ant
WR: Javon Walker, 40.13 points – started by Eric
TE: Marques Colston, 25.20 points – started by Joanna
K: Matt Stover, 15.00 points – started by me
DEF: Miami, 27.00 points – sitting on Joel’s bench
Eric had two of the top three fantasy players this week (Walker and Stephen Jackson, 34.47 points) but Joanna started five of the top 20 players. I hate them both.
--- Worst performers, all skill players edition
Third place: Brad Johnson, -0.16 points – started by Paul
Second place: Chris Perry, -1.90 points – sitting on the waiver wire
First place (tie): Terrance Wilkins, -2.00 points – sitting on the waiver wire
First place (tie): Dane Looker, -2.00 points – sitting on the waiver wire
Over the last two weeks Brad Johnson has been worth 2.14 points. Of course, so far this season Looker is worth -2.00 points, so it could be worse.
--- The Andy Reid Blown call of the week award
I’m accepting it this week. Nay, I’m embracing it.
In case you missed it, I made the league’s first trade of the year early this week. I got Rex Grossman, filling a desperate need at QB. Eric got Javon Walker and the Jacksonville defense, both of which have been solid but not spectacular.
This week Grossman was worth 6.40 points, while Walker and the Jags were worth a combined 59.13. That’s why Eric is suddenly near the top, and I’m all the way down in 10th.
It looks like a bonehead call, but I still support it and believe it’s going to work out in the long run. Of course, that’s exactly the kind of thing Andy would say, so I’ve got no choice but to graciously accept my own insults this week.
Honorable mention goes to Jeff, who left one of his starter positions empty and left a whopping 59 points on his bench.
--- Stupidest thing I heard this week
In the spirit of the night, I'll let you decide which of these was the stupidest. Here are your options:
Option one: On Saturday on ESPN, when asked what teams to watch out for in the day's college football action, Kirk Herbstriet announced, "You have to be impressed with how USC came back in that game against Oregon State last week."
Uhhh... They were heavily favored in that game, Kirk. And they didn't come back -- they lost it when a two-point conversion failed. But other than that, they were spectacular.
Option two: Later in that show, they had a profile piece on college refs and the intense game day preparations they go through. The crew they were following had an 8 p.m. game the previous Saturday, so the camera crew caught them "go for a break around 4 p.m., heading back to the hotel to work out, watch some NFL games or check up on e-mails back home."
You'd think in that intense game prep they'd cover basic football facts, such as THE NFL DOESN'T PLAY ON SATURDAYS IN OCTOBER!!!!
Option three: During the Maryland Racial Slurs/Cowboys game on Sunday, Troy Aikman dropped this one after a personal foul call: "That's the horse collar tackle penalty, named after Dallas safety Roy Williams."
I had to look it up, but sure enough, his given Christian name is "Horse Collar Williams Jr."
Vote early and vote often -- this is just as secure those Diebold machines.
--- My working theory of the week
Pay attention, because there may be a test on this.
We're all familiar with the curse of the Super Bowl loser: Coming into this year, the five teams who lost the big game all missed the playoffs the next year. But the Seahawks, sitting at 5-3 and with five of their last eight against teams with losing records, look like they'll probably break that streak.
On the other hand, the Steelers' Super Bowl hangover has turned into full-fleged alcohol poisoning (Yes, I totally stole that line from my column last week.) At 2-6 they have no real chance of making the post-season.
Odd coincidence? I submit it's not. I submit to you that the Super Bowl curse is alive and well, and that ...
Wait for it ...
Wait for it ...
The Steelers NEVER WON that Super Bowl!
Think about it: The Seahawks were favored and had the league MVP, the referees blew several big calls, Ben Rothlesberger didn't have a passing TD in the game -- if I laid that out for you, you'd have to believe that Seattle won the Super Bowl.
So they must have. And if Seattle actually won that Super Bowl, who's to say that the Eagles didn't win their Super Bowl?
What, is that less believable than McNabb puking every time he plays in south Florida?
--- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
Are you still shaky about how you should feel after that Dallas loss/Joe Gibbs win on Sunday? “Dallas Cowboys Wide Receiver/Punt Returner Skyler Levon Green” has some advice for you:
*** Cry not! Blurt: Error-laced Redskins win leaves everyone up w/ glee ****
Thank gawd they’re starting new folks, otherwise I’d never be able to keep this going.
--- Our standings so far
First place: HoF Bus Drivers, Joanna -- 1253.49 points
Second place: JapanUSrelations, Ant -- 1217.14 points
Third place: Red Shirteys, Eric -- 1178.22 points
Another strong week from Joanna, but Anthony gets McNabb back next week, so we'll see if it lasts.
--- For the record
*** Bye weeks are so relaxing. Do the Eagles have to play next week?
*** The professional column is still alive.
*** I’m back up a game on Dad, thanks to my genius Indy pick this week. I also won the office pool, earning me $35 – just enough to cover my losses in the office pool so far.
*** File this one away for later in the season: If the Eagles and Cowboys end up tied a the end of the season, the tiebreak will likely come down to their respective NFC East records (I’m conceding the Christmas game already). If it does, this week’s Dallas loss could be the difference between the Cowboys being 2-4 and being 3-3 in the division.
Stay with me.
At 19-19, Dallas lined up to kick the game-winning field goal but had it blocked, returned about 30 yards and lost the game on an ensuing Washington field goal.
Stay with me.
The man who blocked that field goal? New safety for the Racial Slurs, Troy Vincent. He came right up the middle and got his mitt square on it.
What I’m saying if the Eagles make the playoffs on a tiebreaker over Dallas, it’ll be because of Troy Vincent. The man just keeps giving and giving to the people of Philadelphia.
It’s gonna feel wrong when I boo him next week.
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