Fantasy football recap, week 10

        Let’s mix it up a little bit and start out with everyone’s favorite game …

--- NFL starter or letters I just strung together for fun?
** Maake Kemoeatu: Carolina Panthers DT or letters I strung together?
** Jhonny Kwigebew: Houston Texans CB or letters I strung together?
** Osi Umenyiora: New Jersey Giants DE or letters I strung together?
** Patrick Chukwurah: Denver Broncos LB or letters I strung together?
** Toniu Fonoti: Miami Dolphins OG or letters I strung together?
** Llyodd Drunkendunker: Seattle Seahawks TE or letters I strung together?

        And now back to our regularly scheduled program…

--- Top performers
QB: Carson Palmer, 33.50 points – sitting on Eric’s bench
RB: LaDanian Tomlinson, 44.00 points – started by Ant
WR: Chad Johnson, 40.33 points – started by Mike
TE: Marques Colston, 21.27 points – started by Joanna
K: Joe Nedney, 14.00 points – sitting on the waiver wire
DEF: Philadelphia, 18.00 points – started by Neal
        From now on, I’m only telling you if Tomlinson isn’t the top fantasy guy of the week. He’s on pace for 34 touchdowns this season (including two passing, at the current pace) which would break the single season record for ridiculousness.

--- Worst performers, “defenses which surrendered more than 35 points” edition
Third place: San Diego, -2.00 points – started by Heidi
Second place: Cincinnati, -3.00 points – started by Jim
First place: New Orleans, -4.00 points – started by Ant
        Funny, the team that surrendered the fewest points out of this group (Saints let up 38, the Chargers 41, the Bengals 49) was the lowest scorer. Of course, they all sucked in their own special way

--- Andy Reid blown call of the week award
        Dear gawd – Neal left one spot open, started a wide receiver who is out for the next month, started three players who scored less than 6 points combined and left 32 points on his bench.
        Honorable mention goes to Heidi, who left 28 points on her bench and lost two more because of that porous Chargers defense.

--- Fun facts I pulled out of a free Eagles media guide one of the guys at work got for me
** The 20,000th point in Eagles history was scored by David Akers, on the extra point kick he made following Hank Baskett’s long TD catch against the Cowboys in week 5.
** Ryan Moats was born in Dallas. Draw your own conclusions.
** Lito Sheppard is fourth all-time in Eagles interception return yards, with 12 picks and 409 yards. Bill Bradley is first, with 34 picks and 536 yards.
** The Eagles have on their practice squad FB Zach Tuiasosopo, son of Seattle DT Manu Tuiasosopo and brother of Raiders QB Marques Tuiasosopo. How did none of them make my name game above?

--- Stupidest thing I heard this week
        The poll wasn’t successful last week, but you still have your pick of utter idiocy this week.
        Behind door one, we have Tony Siragusa during the Eagles game telling me “The field is really getting wet out here, and there’s a lot of water on the grass too.”
        Behind door two, we have Joe Buck and Troy Aikman during the New Orleans game:
        Bucky: “Another wide open catch by a Saints wide receiver! How many times have we seen that today?”
        Troy: “Umm, a few, I guess.”
        Behind door number three, we’ve got the Westwood One radio crew, calling the Monday night game, stating after another one of those horse-collar tackles that “Those were outlawed in the NFL after Roy Williams broke Donovan McNabb’s ankle on one of those last year.”
        Yeah, it was T.O.’s ankle two years ago, but you were pretty close there, guys.

--- Cowboys anagram insult of the week
        With undefeated Indianapolis traveling to Dallas next week, how does “Dallas Cowboys rookie wideout Sam Hurd” feel the game will go down? I’m glad I asked, because the letters in his name clearly spells out:
        *** Woe, ado: Colts roil dudes, ambush w/ airy KO. ***
        Yes, that Indy airy knockout (passing game to those less poetic among us) has roiled many a dude this year.
        The sad part is these are getting easier for me, not harder.

--- Our standings so far
First place: HoF Bus Drivers, Jo -- 1378.66 points
Second place: Red Shirteys, Eric -- 1347.13 points
Third place: JapanUSRelations -- 1339.38 points
        Ant is starting to fade and Eric is starting to charge. But Red Shirteys had tradaed away his two best QBs (Rex Grossman and Carson Palmer) and decided to stick with Mike Vick to lead his team to victory the rest of the way, a strategy that hasn't worked for Hotlanta over the last six years.
        Meanwhile, my wife continues to pull away from everybody else. I'm almost 300 points behind her in the standings, which means if she benches everyone on her team it'll still take me three weeks to catch up with her. But I'm gonna give her that advice anyway.

--- For the record
** The professional column is up, and it's about OSU and Michigan this week. Here's my bold prediction: USC is going to win.
** The Eagles-Colts game in two weeks was moved to Sunday night, so now you can stay up late to watch another AFC South team destroy Jim Johnson’s defense.
** Speaking of the AFC South, Tennessee has not officially been eliminated from winning that division. At 2-7, they’d have to win their last seven and have the Colts lose their next seven, at which point they’d both be 9-7, and then Tennessee would win the first tiebreaker with a 4-2 division record (Indy would be 3-3). So don’t give up hope yet, Titans fans.