Phillies Phever (and Phlu)

With 4 percent (seven games) of the major league season complete, let's see how the Phillies are doing so far compared to new White Sox DH Jim Thome all on his own:

Categories	Jim Thome	Phils starting 8
Batting Avg	.318	.292
Home Runs	4	5
RBI	7	21
Strikeouts	2	26
Team Wins	3	1
Approx. Fans	200,000	8 (their moms)

The worst part? We all know that the Phillies made the right move trading him, because they needed to go with rookie of the year Ryan Howard. And it still makes the team look dumb right now. Of course, they wouldn't look quite as bad if they could win more than one lousy game...

For the record, the Phils were the last team in baseball to get a win. Both Philly and Pittsburgh, the last two winless wonders, grabbed that elusive first victory on Sunday, but the Pirates' game ended exactly at 4:00 pm. The fightless Phils' game ended at 4:06 p.m.

Phillies Phever: If you catch it, please consult a doctor immediately. It could be the ebola virus.