Another week, another set of key injuries for the Eagles: After third-string RB turned starter Will Shipley went down with a foot injury on Sunday, the birds were forced to turn to practice squad player Dameon Pierce to finish out the game. Shipley — like Tank Bigsby and Saquon Barkley — may miss multiple weeks, and Pierce only picked up 14 yds on 11 carries, forcing the team to consider other options for their running game. Here are a few of the ideas on the table:
** Jaydon Blue: He’s on the practice squad and his position is running back. At this point, that makes him as qualified as anyone.
** Jalen Hurts: He isn’t doing much at the QB post. Let’s try Tanner McKee taking the snaps and seeing if Hurts remembers how to use his legs.
** Lane Johnson: Maybe he retired because he was bored with just blocking on runs and never getting to hold the ball. The line would definitely try harder for him.
** Miles Sanders: They brought Zach Ertz back. Sanders isn’t doing anything else right now, and would at least get a polite round of applause from the crowd.
** Cooper DeJean: He plays every other position, so why not try this one too? Can’t be worse than 11 carries for 14 yds.
** The remains of Saquon Barkley: Whatever condition he is in, he’s really a better choice than everything else on the table.
QB: Drake Maye, 47.46 pts — on Joel’s bench
WR: Puka Nacua, 24.60 pts — started by Jo
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 33.33 pts — started by Joel
TE: Isaiah Likely, 23.77 pts — started by Joel
K: Jason Meyers, 23.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Green Bay, 19.00 pts — on Bob’s bench
D: Gracen Halton, 13.40 pts — on the wire
Welp, you all tried your best. It’s not your fault only Joel had good players this week. He started Jared Goff — the #2 highest scoring player of the week — instead of Maye, and also started the #2 RB (Jaylen Warren, 30.90 pts) along with Gibbs. He also had the #2 defense (Houston, 18.00 pts) but left them on his bench.
Gibbs is averaging 26.42 fantasy pts a week so far this season, which is insane for a non-QB. But that all ends next week, because … the Lions have a bye.
Ravens QB Tyler Huntley started in the place of Lamar Jackson on Sunday and guided his team to a win, throwing two TD passes. Meanwhile, Titans QB Cam Ward — the #1 overall draft pick in 2025 — has three TD passes in five games. He has one fewer win on the season than Huntley.
“Should have stayed home” edition
3rd place: Jacob Cowing, -0.44 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Tua Tagovailoa, -0.64 pts — on the wire
1st place: Kenyon Sadiq, -0.80 pts — on the wire
Sadiq, the TE the Jets drafted in the first round last spring, has had a fascinating start to his season. He has 12 catches for 143 yds and two TDs in his first three games. Since then? Two catches for three yds, one fumble and one concussion. And that line was all this Sunday — in week 4, he had zeroes all around.
Not on the list of the worst fantasy performers, but bizarrely bad nonetheless: The 49ers beat the Seahawks 32-29 on Sunday, but don’t compliment the offenses for that output. Seattle had 17 points off of three San Fran turnovers, while the 49ers had 21 points off of four Seahawks giveaways. If either team had any ball security, the matchup could have been a 14-13 game.
The Cowboys remain the worst fantasy defense in the league, with 2.00 total points through five weeks. Former Eagles QB Andy Dalton remains the worst fantasy player on the year, with -2.00 pts.
** After that ridiculous 27-27 contest between the Giants and Commanders on Sunday, New Jersey Coach John Harbaugh addressed the surprising result with reporters:
“I told the guys, ‘Was it a win? No. Was it a loss? No. It was a tie.’ How does that make you feel? I'm happy it wasn't a loss and I'm sad it wasn't a win, so that's how I feel.."
Such insight. Such inspiration. It’s that level of clear, precise messaging that moves players to achieve the kind of result we saw in that game.
** On the other side of the field, Commanders QB Jayden Daniels took responsibility for the boneheaded move to not stop the clock for a game-winning field goal in overtime, adding “that’s on me.”
That was a little odd, because Maryland Coach Dan Quinn just moments before said he hadn’t properly communicated the situation to his players, adding “that’s on me.”
WR: Puka Nacua, 24.60 pts — started by Jo
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 33.33 pts — started by Joel
TE: Isaiah Likely, 23.77 pts — started by Joel
K: Jason Meyers, 23.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Green Bay, 19.00 pts — on Bob’s bench
D: Gracen Halton, 13.40 pts — on the wire
Welp, you all tried your best. It’s not your fault only Joel had good players this week. He started Jared Goff — the #2 highest scoring player of the week — instead of Maye, and also started the #2 RB (Jaylen Warren, 30.90 pts) along with Gibbs. He also had the #2 defense (Houston, 18.00 pts) but left them on his bench.
Gibbs is averaging 26.42 fantasy pts a week so far this season, which is insane for a non-QB. But that all ends next week, because … the Lions have a bye.
Ravens QB Tyler Huntley started in the place of Lamar Jackson on Sunday and guided his team to a win, throwing two TD passes. Meanwhile, Titans QB Cam Ward — the #1 overall draft pick in 2025 — has three TD passes in five games. He has one fewer win on the season than Huntley.
“Should have stayed home” edition
3rd place: Jacob Cowing, -0.44 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Tua Tagovailoa, -0.64 pts — on the wire
1st place: Kenyon Sadiq, -0.80 pts — on the wire
Sadiq, the TE the Jets drafted in the first round last spring, has had a fascinating start to his season. He has 12 catches for 143 yds and two TDs in his first three games. Since then? Two catches for three yds, one fumble and one concussion. And that line was all this Sunday — in week 4, he had zeroes all around.
Not on the list of the worst fantasy performers, but bizarrely bad nonetheless: The 49ers beat the Seahawks 32-29 on Sunday, but don’t compliment the offenses for that output. Seattle had 17 points off of three San Fran turnovers, while the 49ers had 21 points off of four Seahawks giveaways. If either team had any ball security, the matchup could have been a 14-13 game.
The Cowboys remain the worst fantasy defense in the league, with 2.00 total points through five weeks. Former Eagles QB Andy Dalton remains the worst fantasy player on the year, with -2.00 pts.
** After that ridiculous 27-27 contest between the Giants and Commanders on Sunday, New Jersey Coach John Harbaugh addressed the surprising result with reporters:
“I told the guys, ‘Was it a win? No. Was it a loss? No. It was a tie.’ How does that make you feel? I'm happy it wasn't a loss and I'm sad it wasn't a win, so that's how I feel.."
Such insight. Such inspiration. It’s that level of clear, precise messaging that moves players to achieve the kind of result we saw in that game.
** On the other side of the field, Commanders QB Jayden Daniels took responsibility for the boneheaded move to not stop the clock for a game-winning field goal in overtime, adding “that’s on me.”
That was a little odd, because Maryland Coach Dan Quinn just moments before said he hadn’t properly communicated the situation to his players, adding “that’s on me.”
However, after the Commanders loss to the Eagles in week one, Daniels took blame for missed opportunities with his receivers earlier in the contest, adding “that’s on me.”
But in August, even before the season began, Commanders S Jeremy Reaves acknowledged defensive communication breakdowns in the secondary in practice, and said he needed to step up, adding “that’s on me.”
I dunno. Maybe this team should stop rushing to embrace the blame and start actually fixing their problems.
** Eagles Coach Nick Sirianni, after Sunday’s loss, offered his own version of “that’s on me” to reporters:
“Bad job by me,” he said. “I think it's so important for every person to take accountability because that's the only way you get better. You build trust that way. I just think that's the key core value to our program, accountability.”
I dunno, Nick. Maybe you could make the core value of the Eagles’ team SCORING POINTS OR RUNNING A COMPETENT OFFENSE. But accountability is nice too.
The New York Islanders opened this season with a new culinary delight for their fans: a grilled-cheese sandwich made with brie and nerds gummy clusters. (No, I’m not kidding) The sandwich drew immediate condemnation from all good-hearted people for its ungodly concept, but the controversy overshadowed a host of new dishes that NFL teams have been rolling out through the first month of play:
** Los Angeles Chargers: Herbert’s Sherbert
Named for the team’s starting QB, it’s a bland and boring two scoops of coldness. But all the NFL pundits think it’s the best dessert ever.
** Philadelphia Eagles: Oversized, spicy hot dogs
These are too big and too hot to swallow, so they are not safe to eat. But what would a birds’ game be this season without choking dogs?
** Arizona Cardinals: Bird Droppings
It’s melted vanilla ice cream over “leaves” of colorful nacho chips. It seems like it should be interesting, but it’s just kinda mushy and dumb, like the play on the field.
** Seattle Seahawks: Northeast Bloody Marys
They’re just standard bloody marys, but they are specifically marketed to help with a Super Bowl hangover.
** Miami Dolphins: Plates and plates of sadness
The good news is that it comes free with the purchase of a home game ticket. The bad news is that fans never seem to eat it all up.
One of the keys for the poor Dallas defensive play has been their personnel — they simply do not have good players on that side of the ball. Take their secondary: They just had to trade for a new cornerback because their depth at the position is poor. Until last week, one of their regulars at defensive back was Ameer Speed, whose name implies some needed skill … until you look at little closer at all the things it actually spells out about him:
CB Ameer Speed
** Embraces deep
** December’s ape
** Me based creep
** Escaped ember
** Beseemed crap
Honestly, if you sign a pile of beseemed crap to play for your team, you get what you paid for.
** I managed to pick up one more game against Dad in our weekly picks contest, leaving me just one behind for the season. Dad’s hatred of the Patriots led him to have false belief in the Raiders fast start, an emotional pick I can understand but not support.
** There have been 31 regular season ties since the NFL added overtime in 1974. Somehow three of those have been games between the New Jersey Giants and the Washington whatevers. Eleven of the 31 have involved NFC East teams. I dunno, maybe there is something in the water here.
** Philadelphia teams are 1-12 since the Phillies clinched their playoff berth. Just, ouch.
Family Cup — Week 5 standings
** Los Angeles Chargers: Herbert’s Sherbert
Named for the team’s starting QB, it’s a bland and boring two scoops of coldness. But all the NFL pundits think it’s the best dessert ever.
** Philadelphia Eagles: Oversized, spicy hot dogs
These are too big and too hot to swallow, so they are not safe to eat. But what would a birds’ game be this season without choking dogs?
** Arizona Cardinals: Bird Droppings
It’s melted vanilla ice cream over “leaves” of colorful nacho chips. It seems like it should be interesting, but it’s just kinda mushy and dumb, like the play on the field.
** Seattle Seahawks: Northeast Bloody Marys
They’re just standard bloody marys, but they are specifically marketed to help with a Super Bowl hangover.
** Miami Dolphins: Plates and plates of sadness
The good news is that it comes free with the purchase of a home game ticket. The bad news is that fans never seem to eat it all up.
One of the keys for the poor Dallas defensive play has been their personnel — they simply do not have good players on that side of the ball. Take their secondary: They just had to trade for a new cornerback because their depth at the position is poor. Until last week, one of their regulars at defensive back was Ameer Speed, whose name implies some needed skill … until you look at little closer at all the things it actually spells out about him: CB Ameer Speed
** Embraces deep
** December’s ape
** Me based creep
** Escaped ember
** Beseemed crap
Honestly, if you sign a pile of beseemed crap to play for your team, you get what you paid for.
** I managed to pick up one more game against Dad in our weekly picks contest, leaving me just one behind for the season. Dad’s hatred of the Patriots led him to have false belief in the Raiders fast start, an emotional pick I can understand but not support. ** There have been 31 regular season ties since the NFL added overtime in 1974. Somehow three of those have been games between the New Jersey Giants and the Washington whatevers. Eleven of the 31 have involved NFC East teams. I dunno, maybe there is something in the water here.
** Philadelphia teams are 1-12 since the Phillies clinched their playoff berth. Just, ouch.
Family Cup — Week 5 standings
House Doyle: 9-6
House Shane: 9-6
House Garrity: 7-8
House Quinn: 5-10
House Shane: 9-6
House Garrity: 7-8
House Quinn: 5-10
Down goes our final undefeated and undefeated teams. Shelly (who may or may not be managing her team?) put up just barely enough points to stay ahead of Mike’s super squad, winning by just 1.6 fantasy pts. That, coupled with House Shane’s sweep of its matches this week, puts the house standings in a tie for the first time this season (and maybe ever? I dunno, I don’t feel like opening last year’s standings right now).
Meanwhile, Tommy took his frustrations out on his grandmother, thumping her team for his first win of the season. That means that no team is more than three games out of first at the moment, meaning the playoffs and the championship is still well within reach.
Awesome Cup — Week 5 standings
Meanwhile, Tommy took his frustrations out on his grandmother, thumping her team for his first win of the season. That means that no team is more than three games out of first at the moment, meaning the playoffs and the championship is still well within reach.
Awesome Cup — Week 5 standings
1 — Death by Chickens (Jonathan), 673.96 pts
2 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 663.39 pts
3 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 655.23 pts
4 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 601.10 pts
5 — Center City Brownout (Capt. Awesome), 582.71 pts
6 — It's a Real Saquondary (Bob), 577.72 pts
7 — Zeus the Fluffy (Jo), 569.05 pts
8 — Intravenous de Milo (Mike), 557.77 pts
9 — No Lemon Drops (Pop), 535.58 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 482.55 pts
Joel scored an amazing 186.49 pts on the week, and it could have been even better — he left 29 fantasy pts on his bench, since he picked the wrong QB and defense. Still, it’s hard to feel sad for him when he jumped up from 8th place to 4th in a single week.
But all that still leaves Joel 72 pts out of first place, which is now held by Jonthan … again. He overcame a 30-point deficit to his grandmother last week to steal the top spot, putting up 158.17 pts. Don’t worry — he’ll have some real work to keep that perch next week, when his QB and K go on a bye.
Speaking of next week, we’ve got four byes, a Thursday game of note (Seattle vs. Denver) and yet another London game featuring the hometown Jaguars. Hit the waiver wire early, it’s gonna get ugly quick out there.
2 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 663.39 pts
3 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 655.23 pts
4 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 601.10 pts
5 — Center City Brownout (Capt. Awesome), 582.71 pts
6 — It's a Real Saquondary (Bob), 577.72 pts
7 — Zeus the Fluffy (Jo), 569.05 pts
8 — Intravenous de Milo (Mike), 557.77 pts
9 — No Lemon Drops (Pop), 535.58 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 482.55 pts
Joel scored an amazing 186.49 pts on the week, and it could have been even better — he left 29 fantasy pts on his bench, since he picked the wrong QB and defense. Still, it’s hard to feel sad for him when he jumped up from 8th place to 4th in a single week.
But all that still leaves Joel 72 pts out of first place, which is now held by Jonthan … again. He overcame a 30-point deficit to his grandmother last week to steal the top spot, putting up 158.17 pts. Don’t worry — he’ll have some real work to keep that perch next week, when his QB and K go on a bye.
Speaking of next week, we’ve got four byes, a Thursday game of note (Seattle vs. Denver) and yet another London game featuring the hometown Jaguars. Hit the waiver wire early, it’s gonna get ugly quick out there.
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