Through three games this season, Nick Sirianni’s coaching decisions have directly resulted in four missed field goal opportunities and twice unnecessarily handed the ball to the opposing team with a chance to surrender the lead. His moves have already cost the Eagles one-third of their games. In a division that might be decided by a single victory, that kind of leadership is unforgivable.
Meanwhile, Eagles management (and fans) believe that the team has championship-caliber talent, but it isn’t being used correctly on the field. With multiple track stars on offense, why is the team constantly running TE screen plays? Why has QB Jalen Hurt regressed severely over the last 20 games? Why doesn’t this team beat up on lesser teams anymore?
The answer, of course, is poor coaching. And there’s already a known way to address that in Philadelphia. It’s a big move, but we all know deep down it’s the right one.
It’s time to fire Nick Sirianni mid-season and hire Rob Thomson to get this team to the Super Bowl.
Look, I hear what you’re saying. “But Thomson doesn’t know football. You can’t put him in here.” Wrong. Thomson, whose team won the NL East this week, knows how pro players think. He rejuvenated a locker room full of struggling stars and inspired a fan base. He has taken his team to the playoffs three straight years. He knows how to win and how to use the talent around him.
“But Rob Thomson already has a job. He can’t do both.” Wrong again. The Phillies wrap up their season this week. They have already won the NL East. That final series against the Natinals isn’t important. Thomson can start with the game against Tampa this week, while the Phillies are coasting. Then the Eagles have a week 5 bye, just as the Phillies are starting the division series. Sure, there may be a game in late October where Thomson has to decide which team he’ll oversee, but that’s what assistant coaches are for. It’s a minimal inconvenience for a big payoff.
“But Thomson doesn’t want the job. This is just ridiculous.” Gawd, do you ever get sick of listening to yourself being so wrong? When Thomson signed a one-year extension last December, he said he wanted to coach as long as Philadelphia wants him here. He didn’t say “only if the Phillies want me.” He’s a team player and a team motivator. He’s gonna do what Philadelphia needs him to do. He’s the hero we need, not the hero we deserve.
For the good of the city, I expect Sirianni’s resignation by Wednesday and for Thomson to walk across the street after the Cubs’ series ends Wednesday night.
WR: Jauan Jennings, 35.17 pts — on the wire
RB: Saquon Barkley, 31.30 pts — started by me
TE: Cole Kmet, 17.47 pts — on the wire
K: Wil Lutz, 16.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Green Bay, 22.00 pts — started by Sam
D: Jaire Alexander, 10.50 pts — on the wire
Just how improbable was Jennings’ posting the top wideout score of the week? He had 11 catches for 175 yds and three TDs in the 49ers loss to the Rams on Sunday. Last season, he had 19 catches for 265 yds and one TD. That’s 31.17 fantasy points for all of 2023. He beat that in four quarters on Sunday. It helps when every other player on the 49ers offense is out…
Through three weeks, Allen is the highest scoring QB in all of fantasy. But in second place? That’s the legendary passer Sam Darnold, whose Minnesota Vikings are 3-0. He has thrown eight TDs this year, after tossing nine over the last two years combined. And Sunday’s win brings his career record up to 24-35. Go figure.
“Getting defensive” edition3rd place: Washington, -1.00 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Dallas, -3.00 pts — on Ant’s bench
1st place: (tie) Las Vegas, -4.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: (tie) Jacksonville, -4.00 pts — on my bench
1st place: (tie) Jacksonville, -4.00 pts — on my bench
1st place: (tie) Cincinnati, -4.00 pts — started by Jeff
Second week in a row that the Dallas defense was worth negative points. Last year they were the top ranked defense with 189 fantasy points. They’ll have to average almost 13 points a game to match that total over the back half of the season
On the season, the Dallas defense is ranked 27th out of 32 teams, just one point ahead of the Panthers (who have the same record as the Cowboys, for those keeping score at home). The Raiders beat the Ravens last week but lost to the Panthers this week. The Cowboys lost to the Ravens this week. Therefore, by the transitive properties of sports, the Cowboys are actually worse than the Panthers. Too bad they managed to squeak out a win against the Browns in week 1.
** At halftime of the Thursday night game, Amazon host Charissa Thompson welcomed the viewing audience with this:
“It has been a dream half for New York tonight — Aaron Rodgers throws his first TD as a Jet and his team leads 14-3.”
Ignoring the fact that the game took place in New Jersey and not New York … is that really a “dream” half? The Patriots totaled 40 yds of offense and the Jets led them by just 11 pts (and had missed a last-minute FG just a few seconds earlier.) Rodgers’ passer rating for the half was 116.7, which is great, but not really dreamlike. He was 40 points away from being perfect.
Maybe Charissa just has much calmer dreams than the rest of us? Or she thought that New York is a concrete jungle where dreams are made eh?
** ESPN had a story Saturday previewing the Cowboys/Ravens game that noted the contest would feature two RBs “closing in on 10,000 yds rushing.” The first, Derrick Henry, entered Sunday needing just 368 yds to reach the mark, and had 151 against the Cowboys. He’ll likely reach the mark before November.
The second, Ezekiel Elliott, came into the game needing 1,040 yds to reach 10K.
That’s not “closing in” on 10,000 yards rushing.
That’s 10 percent short. That’s looking at it far off in the distance. It’s imagining the possibilities of reaching that mark. It’s a hypothetical, not a certainty. Elliot is averaging 21 yds a game this year and has collected 1,095 yds rushing over his last 27 games. At best, the earliest he could reach the mark would be sometime late in 2025, and that’s only if he more than doubles his recent output.
By the way, Elliot had 6 yds rushing on three attempts Sunday, putting him on the verge of 10,000 career rushing yards. Just a mere 1,034 left.
Second week in a row that the Dallas defense was worth negative points. Last year they were the top ranked defense with 189 fantasy points. They’ll have to average almost 13 points a game to match that total over the back half of the season
On the season, the Dallas defense is ranked 27th out of 32 teams, just one point ahead of the Panthers (who have the same record as the Cowboys, for those keeping score at home). The Raiders beat the Ravens last week but lost to the Panthers this week. The Cowboys lost to the Ravens this week. Therefore, by the transitive properties of sports, the Cowboys are actually worse than the Panthers. Too bad they managed to squeak out a win against the Browns in week 1.
** At halftime of the Thursday night game, Amazon host Charissa Thompson welcomed the viewing audience with this:
“It has been a dream half for New York tonight — Aaron Rodgers throws his first TD as a Jet and his team leads 14-3.”
Ignoring the fact that the game took place in New Jersey and not New York … is that really a “dream” half? The Patriots totaled 40 yds of offense and the Jets led them by just 11 pts (and had missed a last-minute FG just a few seconds earlier.) Rodgers’ passer rating for the half was 116.7, which is great, but not really dreamlike. He was 40 points away from being perfect.
Maybe Charissa just has much calmer dreams than the rest of us? Or she thought that New York is a concrete jungle where dreams are made eh?
** ESPN had a story Saturday previewing the Cowboys/Ravens game that noted the contest would feature two RBs “closing in on 10,000 yds rushing.” The first, Derrick Henry, entered Sunday needing just 368 yds to reach the mark, and had 151 against the Cowboys. He’ll likely reach the mark before November.
The second, Ezekiel Elliott, came into the game needing 1,040 yds to reach 10K.
That’s not “closing in” on 10,000 yards rushing.
That’s 10 percent short. That’s looking at it far off in the distance. It’s imagining the possibilities of reaching that mark. It’s a hypothetical, not a certainty. Elliot is averaging 21 yds a game this year and has collected 1,095 yds rushing over his last 27 games. At best, the earliest he could reach the mark would be sometime late in 2025, and that’s only if he more than doubles his recent output.
By the way, Elliot had 6 yds rushing on three attempts Sunday, putting him on the verge of 10,000 career rushing yards. Just a mere 1,034 left.
Playoff baseball is on the way next week. And when the NL East champion Phillies come up to bat during the postseason, you may notice something a little different.
MLB officials announced last week that all players’ batting helmets throughout the playoffs will feature an ad from the German apparel company Strauss. The deal is for four years of postseason play, and financial terms were not announced.
Some may call this a short-sighted cash grab, but this move helps expand the opportunities for these struggling sports franchises to finally make some money back. And once these helmet ads become normal, it’s clear what the next steps will be in each league:
** Forehead ads for baseball players — If Taco Bell is going to give everyone a free taco when a player steals a base in the World Series, shouldn’t they get to show off their brand as the player steals the base? Imagine Bryce Harper’s hair flying in the wind, unveiling a large “Live Mas” logo as he slides into second. That’s quality ad spending.
** Offensive lineman butt ads — NFL broadcasts routinely show the QB’s view on replays, and the biggest unused areas are the rear-ends of the very large linemen protecting the passer. Why not make that space useful? Imagine how well a Target ad would play there without being a distraction on passing plays.
** NHL glass wall ads — The walls surrounding the ice in hockey games should be plastered with profitable ads, but the NHL continues to foolishly leave that area clear just to allow ticket holders a better view of the action. But how long is that a viable plan? Time to start stickering over and letting in-stadium fans follow the action on their phones, like they’re supposed to.
** Jason Kelce sleeping time ads — Sure, the former Eagles center is already in every ad possible while he’s awake. But what about the six to eight hours while he’s unconscious? Why not give him branded blankets, branded pillows, and a 24/7 camera to maximize his advertising value? With enough creativity, his snores could even be remixed into a new Wawa ad.
The Cowboys have had a lot of poor performers early this season, but their special teams players aren’t among them. K Brandon Aubrey on Sunday booted a 65-yard FG, the second longest in NFL history. He’s 10-for-10 this season and has made his last 15 in a row from over 50 yds.
But what did the Dallas coaching staff see in him when they signed him last year that hinted to the player he’d become? Was it his work ethic? His leg strength? No. It was simply the message that his name spelled out that made them know he was the perfect fit for the team:
Dallas Kicker Brandon Aubrey
** A rock-eyed, LSD barbarian lunk
You’ve got to be a pretty dim bulb for the other barbarians to call you a lunk.
** I swept all three games different Dad and I had in our weekly picks, so now I’m up one for the year. This battle so far is just like the back-and-forth game between the Eagles and Saints: low scoring and kinda difficult to watch.
** I don’t even know how to make fun of this: North Carolina lost 70-50 to James Madison on Saturday. Yes, that is a football score. And, yes, North Carolina is in the trop FBS division, but James Madison is not. That means that not only were the Tar Heels shocked in a massive upset by a lower division team, but they also paid James Madison $500,000 for the privilege of getting their heads kicked in. Football is a wonderful game.
** The Eagles are only in second place, by the way. the Maryland Commies are technically in first, since they also have a 2-1 record but boast a division win.
** The Phillies are NL East champs, just in case you missed the news.
Week 3 standings
1 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 371.58 pts
2 — Jabronis (Ant), 362.03 pts
3 — Chop Block to the Artery (Capt. Awesome), 352.90 pts
4 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 351.14 pts
5 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 348.05 pts
6 — Kodos for President (Jo), 346.16 pts
7 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 333.97 pts
8 — Beer 'n Chips (Dad), 333.18 pts
9 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 331.51 pts
10 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 282.57 pts
11 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 265.62 pts
12 — Dawk’s Greatest Hits All of Them (Paul), 261.45 pts
We’re finished another week and suffered through another complete rewriting of the standings. Jeff jumps from second to first. Bob’s team fell three spots. Ant moves from five up to two, while Mom D leaps from 10th to fifth. Jo falls behind me for the first time this season, giving me the household bragging rights.
The only spots that didn’t change were out bottom two, but Paul did update his name from “Let’s Go Union” to a tribute to the greatest safety in NFL history. Sadly, that didn’t result in a better performance, but it does make the other end of the leaders chart look better.
Just 41 pts separate first place from ninth. That’s like one good week from Saquon Barkley. It’s still anyone’s game.
This week, the Cowboys and Giants play on Thursday night, the Eagles play a second Sunday in a row, and we get two Monday night games again, for reasons. Now is the time to dump those loser Jaguars and Bengals players and start refining the roster for the real start of fall football.
MLB officials announced last week that all players’ batting helmets throughout the playoffs will feature an ad from the German apparel company Strauss. The deal is for four years of postseason play, and financial terms were not announced.
Some may call this a short-sighted cash grab, but this move helps expand the opportunities for these struggling sports franchises to finally make some money back. And once these helmet ads become normal, it’s clear what the next steps will be in each league:
** Forehead ads for baseball players — If Taco Bell is going to give everyone a free taco when a player steals a base in the World Series, shouldn’t they get to show off their brand as the player steals the base? Imagine Bryce Harper’s hair flying in the wind, unveiling a large “Live Mas” logo as he slides into second. That’s quality ad spending.
** Offensive lineman butt ads — NFL broadcasts routinely show the QB’s view on replays, and the biggest unused areas are the rear-ends of the very large linemen protecting the passer. Why not make that space useful? Imagine how well a Target ad would play there without being a distraction on passing plays.
** NHL glass wall ads — The walls surrounding the ice in hockey games should be plastered with profitable ads, but the NHL continues to foolishly leave that area clear just to allow ticket holders a better view of the action. But how long is that a viable plan? Time to start stickering over and letting in-stadium fans follow the action on their phones, like they’re supposed to.
** Jason Kelce sleeping time ads — Sure, the former Eagles center is already in every ad possible while he’s awake. But what about the six to eight hours while he’s unconscious? Why not give him branded blankets, branded pillows, and a 24/7 camera to maximize his advertising value? With enough creativity, his snores could even be remixed into a new Wawa ad.
The Cowboys have had a lot of poor performers early this season, but their special teams players aren’t among them. K Brandon Aubrey on Sunday booted a 65-yard FG, the second longest in NFL history. He’s 10-for-10 this season and has made his last 15 in a row from over 50 yds.
But what did the Dallas coaching staff see in him when they signed him last year that hinted to the player he’d become? Was it his work ethic? His leg strength? No. It was simply the message that his name spelled out that made them know he was the perfect fit for the team:
Dallas Kicker Brandon Aubrey
** A rock-eyed, LSD barbarian lunk
You’ve got to be a pretty dim bulb for the other barbarians to call you a lunk.
** I swept all three games different Dad and I had in our weekly picks, so now I’m up one for the year. This battle so far is just like the back-and-forth game between the Eagles and Saints: low scoring and kinda difficult to watch. ** I don’t even know how to make fun of this: North Carolina lost 70-50 to James Madison on Saturday. Yes, that is a football score. And, yes, North Carolina is in the trop FBS division, but James Madison is not. That means that not only were the Tar Heels shocked in a massive upset by a lower division team, but they also paid James Madison $500,000 for the privilege of getting their heads kicked in. Football is a wonderful game.
** The Eagles are only in second place, by the way. the Maryland Commies are technically in first, since they also have a 2-1 record but boast a division win.
** The Phillies are NL East champs, just in case you missed the news.
Week 3 standings 1 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 371.58 pts
2 — Jabronis (Ant), 362.03 pts
3 — Chop Block to the Artery (Capt. Awesome), 352.90 pts
4 — No One Likes Us We Don't Care (Bob), 351.14 pts
5 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 348.05 pts
6 — Kodos for President (Jo), 346.16 pts
7 — Murder Hornets (Mike), 333.97 pts
8 — Beer 'n Chips (Dad), 333.18 pts
9 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 331.51 pts
10 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 282.57 pts
11 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 265.62 pts
12 — Dawk’s Greatest Hits All of Them (Paul), 261.45 pts
We’re finished another week and suffered through another complete rewriting of the standings. Jeff jumps from second to first. Bob’s team fell three spots. Ant moves from five up to two, while Mom D leaps from 10th to fifth. Jo falls behind me for the first time this season, giving me the household bragging rights.
The only spots that didn’t change were out bottom two, but Paul did update his name from “Let’s Go Union” to a tribute to the greatest safety in NFL history. Sadly, that didn’t result in a better performance, but it does make the other end of the leaders chart look better.
Just 41 pts separate first place from ninth. That’s like one good week from Saquon Barkley. It’s still anyone’s game.
This week, the Cowboys and Giants play on Thursday night, the Eagles play a second Sunday in a row, and we get two Monday night games again, for reasons. Now is the time to dump those loser Jaguars and Bengals players and start refining the roster for the real start of fall football.
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