** Falcons WR Calvin Ridley is on pace for 1,912 receiving yds (293 through two games), which would be the second most all-time (Calvin Johnson had 1,964 in 2012). Ridley is the second-string wideout on his own team, behind Julio Jones.
** Seahawks QB Russell Wilson is on pace for 72 passing TDs (9 through two games), which would obliterate the current record of 55 (set by Peyton Manning in 2013). Wilson plays the porous Eagles defense in week 11.
** Patriots QB Cam Newton is on pace to score 32 rushing TDs (4 through two games), which would break the current record of 28 (set by LaDanian Tomlinson in 2006). Unlike Tomlinson, Newton is not a running back.
** The team that plays in Maryland is on pace to have zero names this season. The previous record low was one name (held by 31 other squads).
WR: Calvin Ridley, 22.77 pts — started by Bob
RB: Aaron Jones, 41.33 pts — started by Jeff
TE: Tyler Higbee, 24.10 pts — started by Joel
K: Younghoe Koo, 17.00 pts — started by Paul
DEF: Indianapolis, 20.00 pts — started by Paul
D: Chandon Sullivan, 9.50 pts — on the wire
So, so close…
Another week, another first-place finish for Wilson. He threw five TDs to five different receivers on Sunday night and has now totaled 83.20 fantasy pts in just two games. For comparison, that’s almost three times what Carson Wentz, Daniel Jones or Dwayne Haskins have totaled. And, yes, that is the company that Wentz is in right now.
Jones totaled 236 yards and 3 TDs rushing and receiving on Sunday, also known as a better performance than the entire New Jersey Jets team (277 yds, 1 TD). That comes one week after QB Aaron Rodgers put on his own fantasy show last week, with 38.76 pts. Good thing that Green Bay drafted a new QB and RB with their first two picks this year, because their current ones are really slacking.
“Actual players” edition
3rd place: Benny Snell, -0.77 pts — on my bench
2nd place: Drew Lock, -1.20 pts — on the wire
1st place: Kirk Cousins, -148 pts — on the wire
Lock got hurt early in the Broncos game, so his miserable state line can be forgiven. Snell looked to be in line for the start Sunday and ended up being a bust instead.
But Cousins? The $96 million passer for the Vikings threw up a truly awful stat line on Sunday, completing 11 passes for 113 yds to his own team, three interceptions for 59 yds to the Colts, and a QB rating of just 15.9. Oh, and he got sacked in the end zone for a safety in each of the last two games.
As I remind you every year, you compiled a QB rating of 39.6 on Sunday by dropping the remote on the floor (0 for 1, 0 yds, 0 TDs, 0 INTs). So congrats, you were more than two times better at being a QB than a man paid $96 million for the job.
No, there is not a check coming for you.
** NFL.com story Monday morning: Is Aaron Rodgers a lock to win MVP?
Sadly, the story was longer than it needed to be. Because “no” would have summed up the entire situation.
** Wentz, after Sunday’s loss, where the Eagles fumbled on the first possession and gave up at least 35 points for the four time in the last 14 games: “Don't panic; we'll be OK. I've always had all the confidence in the world in our defense. We're not panicking."
Maybe you should be, dude. Then you’d throw the ball a little faster.
** The Associated Press announced earlier this month that starting with this week, teams that have not played any games would no longer be included in the top 25 rankings. That means that Big Ten and Pac 10 teams whose conferences may start later this fall will be omitted for now, and only teams currently active will be listed as the best in the nation. Here’s a quick look at the current rankings:
1 — Clemson, 2-0
2 — Alabama, 0-0
3 — Oklahoma, 1-0
4 — Georgia, 0-0
5 — Florida, 0-0
6 — LSU, 0-0
Oh, did I say currently active? I meant “currently active or in the SEC, where we’ll rank them as the best whether or not they play.” Bama, Georgia, Florida and LSU are all scheduled to stay playing next week, which I guess is the same as “already having played several games” and very different from “going to play in a few more weeks.” Makes sense.
A remarkable number of NFL stars saw their 2020 seasons cut short on Sunday, due to injuries. All-world RB Christian McCafferty is expected to miss at least a month. The 49ers lost QB Jimmy Garapolo, DE Nick Bosa, and RB Raheem Mostert in the same game. Pro Bowl WRs Michael Thomas, DaVante Adams, and Chris Godwin missed all or parts of this weekend’s action. Giants RB Saquon Barkley was declared dead after a leg injury, as was the Eagles entire offensive line and their playoff hopes.
But who is to blame for the sudden spate of carnage on the field? While the usual talking heads are pointing to the shortened offseason and the lack of pre-season games, here are some more likely suspects:
** COVID-20: It’s the sequel to 2019, but instead of the respiratory system, it targets athletes' knees.
** Lonely turf: Without anyone running on it all summer, the grass on football fields has grown feral and angry, looking to reassert itself on the feet of those who abandoned it.
** Face masks: I hear they cause dizziness and injuries. And socialism.
** Bill Belechick: Would you really be surprised if you found out he’s spiking opponents’ drinks with bone dissolver?
** 2020 itself: It has ruined everything else, why not football too?
The hero/villain of the week for the Cowboys was their kicker, Greg Zuerlein, who spun a perfect onsides kick to give the Dallas squad the ball with a minute left in Sunday’s game, then kicked the game-winning field goal moments later. Zuerlein was a star in Los Angeles the last few years but opted to sign with the Texas team in a surprising offseason move. But why would he debase his career and his reputation with that change?
As always, the answer is as clear as the letters in his name.
Dallas Cowboys K Greg Zuerlein
** Alas: sick, ugly zero be led wrong
Not for nothing, “Greg Zuerlein” anagrams perfectly to “luring geezer” but that just seemed too easy.
** Split the picks with Dad this week, so I remain two up on the season-long tally. Why I had faith in the Bengals to win a game, I do not know. I do feel like they’d have a chance this week, though...** This just in: NCAA announced that Alambama has clinched a spot in the College National Championship game, because fairness.
** For the record, the current stink on Sundays in Philly isn’t exclusive to the Eagles. The big four Philadelphia sports teams are a combined 0-8 over the last four Sundays. That’s two losses from the birds, one from the Flyers and five from the Phillies (including a doubleheader sweep). The Philadelphia Union is 2-0 on Sundays over that stretch, but both their games were away, and also soccer is a European sport and doesn’t count towards American athletic greatness. That’s just science.
Week 2 standings
1 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 307.22 pts
2 — Bird Immunity (Mike), 294.51 pts
3 — 5th Grade Math (Jo), 279.96 pts
4 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 268.39 pts
5 — The XL Garbage Bags (Capt Awesome), 261.14 pts
6 — Pre-Recorded Boos (Bob), 260.19 pts
7 — The Slaymakers (Ant), 252.47 pts
8 — The Mom Football Tm (Mom D), 246.03 pts
9 — Lataja Orly Lataja (Dad), 226.80 pts
10 — Crash Into Reality (Paul), 214.63 pts
11 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 168.90 pts
Huge week for Jeff, who could have passed 320 pts on the season if he didn’t start a pair of zeros in a WR and D player spots. Even with that, his 176.54-pts week gives him a big early cushion on the rest of the field, who are still sorting out their various IR options.
Joel and Paul won points in the name changing game, but sadly not on the football field. Dad’s team, whose name means “sacked again” in Polish, also continues to struggle, while Ant’s seventh place finish behind Russell Wilson’s 7 billion points so far this season is a head scratcher.
Thursday night’s game is … oh my gawd, I’m going to be sick … Dolphins vs. Jaguars. So made sure you take dramamine or something. Oh, and set your rosters.
1 comment:
C'mon, the U!
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