The Eagles had five turnovers at the hands of the Seahawks on Sunday, their worst total since 2013 (back in the good old Chip Kelly days). To put how bad that performance is into perspective, here are some notable stats which are less than that result:
4 — Total TDs the Eagles offense scored in November.
3 — Total turnovers forced by the Eagles defense in November.
4 — How many the Eagles have scored more than 22 pts in a game this season.
3 — Home losses the Eagles so far, against three wins.
4 — Total punts by the Eagles on Sunday, because you don’t need to punt when you just turn the ball over.
3 — Number of opening day WRs on the disabled list this week.
4 — Games left this season against teams with a losing record, giving some sign of hope for this mess of a season.
WR: Chris Godwin, 27.77 pts — started by Joel
RB: Leonard Fournette, 30.33 pts — started by Mike
TE: Zach Ertz, 18.07 pts — started by Jo
K: Dustin Hopkins, 14.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Maryland Racial Slurs, 22.00 pts — on the wire
D: Vita Vea, 10.07 pts — on the wire
Jackson’s five-TD performance on Monday Night Football got all the attention this week, but don’t sleep on what will probably be the only appearance in the top performers by multiple members of the DC-area football team. Slurs’ K Hopkins hit two FGs inside the two-minute warning as the team stole only their second victory of the season from the Detroit Lions. At 3-7-1, the Lions have managed to beat the 2-9 Giants, the 4-7 Chargers and … of course, the 5-6 Eagles. That game could be what separates Philly from the playoffs. Awesome.
Hey, remember Zach Ertz? The guy who set the single-season mark for TE catches last year? He reappeared for the Eagles on Sunday, grabbing 12 catches for 91 yds and a TD. Ertz is on pace for 97 catches and 1,035 yds for the year, which is impressive considering I had forgotten he was still on the team. Also, I wrote almost this exact paragraph three weeks ago, last time he was in the top performers, and I forgot about that too.
Bucs DT Vita Vea became the heaviest man ever to score an NFL TD on Sunday, reeling in a one-yard pass in Tampa Bay’s win over the Falcons. He clocks in at 6-foot-4 and 347 pounds. To celebrate the achievement, he ate the ball.
“Defenses that once were good” edition
1st place: (tie) Miami, -3.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: (tie) LA Rams, -3.00 pts — on Sam’s bench
1st place: (tie) Green Bay, -3.00 pts — started by Joel
OK, the Dolphins’ defense hasn’t been good for a long while. And the Rams ran into the buzzsaw that is the Ravens’ offense. But what happened to the Packers? This defense has consistently held opponents to under 24 pts (except for week 4, when they gave up 37 to the Eagles, gawd that team just makes no sense) but got blown away by the 49ers on Sunday.
If you had opted to start the Cardinals defense this week — which hasn’t allowed fewer than 21 pts in any game all year — you would have ended up with more pts than the Packers.
For the record, the Cardinals were off this week.
** From a new Washington Post poll this week: “Nationals are D.C.’s favorite team”“More than one in four D.C. residents — 28 percent — name the Nationals as their favorite local team. … Meanwhile, fandom for the Redskins, long the dominant sports team in the region, has plummeted, with just 13 percent calling them their favorite local team. They are followed by the Capitals with 10 percent, the Wizards and Mystics, both at 8 percent, and D.C. United at 6 percent.”
Not appearing on that list: 23 percent of folks survey said they don’t like any of the local teams. So, an alternate headline for the piece might be “Only slightly more people in DC care about the Natinals than root against all the local teams.”
** At halftime of the Sunday night game, with the 49ers leading the Packers 23-0, sideline reporter Michelle Tafoya said that when she spoke with Green Bay coach Matt LeFleur, he was not thinking about throwing away the playbook.
“We’re sticking to our plan,” he said. “If we go away from that plan, it could get even uglier.”
The Packers lost 37-8, but I guess with a different plan maybe they would have lost by more than four TDs.
** There’s a new FOX show coming up that’s explained in the commercials as an assistant sheriff who is promoted to sheriff after the sudden death of the original sheriff and now he’s going to use his position as sheriff to clean up the entire department. But the new sheriff faces a lot of resistance, including some of the old sheriff’s allies who vow they’ll bring down the replacement sheriff.
The show is called .... “Deputy.”
I did not see that coming.
The most important part of celebrating Thanksgiving is, of course, relaxing in front of the television and enjoying some football. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to do that on Thursday:
— Turn on Fox at noon.
— Grab antacid tablets, realizing that the first game will upset your stomach.
— Watch the battle for last place in the NFC North: The 5-6 Bears take on the 3-7-1 Lions.
— Flip over to CBS at 4pm.
— Grab three beers, realizing you’ll need to be drunk to enjoy the next game.
— Watch the All-Overrated Bowl: The 8-3 Bills, who are 1-1 against teams with a winning record, take on the 6-5 Cowboys, who are 0-4 against teams with a winning record.
— Turn on NBC at 8pm.
— Grab your stress ball, to calm yourself after realizing how bad the football spread is this year.
— Watch the most confusing rematch in the NFL this season: The 9-2 Saints take on the 3-8 Falcons, who inexplicably blew them out three weeks ago in New Orleans.
— Go to bed, and hope for happier football dreams.
Defensive end Michael Bennett was a key component of the Eagles 2018 season, providing some stability and pass rush along the line. Then, in the offseason, he was traded to the Patriots. And then they traded him to the Cowboys. So, how do we feel about him now? The same way he feels, according to what his name spells out:
Dallas traded for DE Michael Bennett
** Clan add: Demented traitor feels blah
In fairness, you’d be demented too if you got traded three times in 18 months.
** Another week, another tie. 0-5-7 against Dad so far this year. Eight games back. This has gone from absurd to monotonous.
** The NFL announced its Hall of Fame finalists for this season: S Troy Polamalu feels like a lock, WR Issac Bruce and RB Edgerrin James feel like they should already be in. , wide receiver Reggie Wayne. The only Eagle on the list is RB Ricky Watters, and that feels like a reach to me. RB Fred Taylor was also announced as a finalist but was injured shortly thereafter.
** I’m not saying the Eagles are going to lose to the Dolphins, but I would not bet on the spread.
** I mean, a Fred Taylor injury joke? It’s like we’re back in 2008.
Week 12 standings 1 — McCown or Never (Capt Awesome), 1575.12 pts
2 — SweatpantsEnthusiast (Mike), 1520.97 pts
3 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 1508.92 pts
4 — We Love the Mud (Mom D), 1384.39 pts
5 — Peabody and Sherman (Dad), 1353.73 pts
6 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 1352.02 pts
7 — Philly Special (Jo), 1350.93 pts
8 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1342.78 pts
9 — Requiem for a Season (Paul), 1287.80 pts
10 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 1249.03 pts
11 — Ezekiel34 holdout (Joel), 1136.37 pts
12 — I love the Cowboys (JoeMcDeadaccount), 30.43 pts
With almost 75 percent of the season finished, we have three distinct tiers in the standings (well, four, since Joey is in his own world down there).
The bottom bracket is lead by Paul (who’s latest name is … darker … than usual). Bob sits within striking distance of that 10th place spot, and Joel’s respectable 104-pts week puts him at least in contention for a decent push over the final month of the season.
The race for fifth place is crowded: Four teams sit within 10 pts of each other. But Mom D has established herself as the leader of this pack, with wishful thinking that she can jump up into the top group.
But the medal positions seem to have separated themselves already. Another strong week from my squad (thank you, Lamar Jackson) puts me firmly in the driver’s seat, while Mike and Sam continue to hang close. It all sets up for some interesting end-of-the-season battles, provided everyone remembers to set their rosters.
That starts this Thursday — three games are set for turkey day enjoyment, so remember to set your teams early. You don’t want to have to dash away from a full dinner spread just because you forgot about one of the Lions wideouts.
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