** If the Eagles win three more games, the Eagles win the NFC East.
** If the Eagles win their next two games, and Dallas loses one game, the Eagles win the NFC East.
** If the Eagles lose their next five games, and Dallas wins their next five, then the NFC East winner will be the winner of the final Eagles/Cowboys game of the season.
** If the Eagles lose their next six games and the Cowboys lose at least two of their final six games and the Maryland Racial Slurs win all six of their remaining contests, they’ll win the NFC East.
** If the NFL commissioner disbands the Eagles, Cowboys and Maryland Racial Slurs, then the Giants can win the NFC East.
QB: Ben Roethlisberger, 36.96 pts — started by Jeff WR: Antonio Brown, 33.06 pts — started by Jim
RB: LeSean McCoy, 28.90 pts — started by me
TE: Ricky Seals-Jones, 17.60 pts — on the wire
K: Stephen Gostkowski, 20.00 pts — started by Mom D
DEF: Baltimore, 31.00 pts — started by Sam
D: Budda Baker, 14.00 pts — on the wire
So close … I had the second-ranked defensive player of the week (Telvin Smith, 12.00 pts) and no one has ever heard of Ricky Seals-Jones before this moment. So maybe we weren’t that close.
Great week for defenses — Five teams posted scores of 20 pts or higher, including those victorious Eagles (24.00 pts). On the other end, three defenses scored less than zero pts: Buffalo at -5.00 (started by Paul), Tennessee at -3.00 (started by Jim) and Dallas at -1.00 (started by no one because you all have common sense).
“Worst QBs ever” edition
3rd place: Landry Jones, -0.30 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Dak Prescott, -1.20 pts — started by Joel
1st place: Nathan Peterman, -6.96 pts — on the wire
Let’s get past the normal pleasantries and note that you had a better QB rating on Sunday than all three of these guys.
Prescott had easily the worst performance of his career, turning the ball over four times and failing to find the end zone in 55 minutes of playing time (he was actually benched with the game out of hand for the last series). Pundits for the last year have been saying that Prescott was the steal of the 2016 draft where he went in the fourth rounds and Eagles QB Carson Wentz went in the second spot. But Prescott suddenly doesn’t look so good with an injury to his top offensive lineman. Meanwhile, since Eagles all-Pro lineman Jason Peters went down for the season, Wentz has thrown 12 TDs and 2 INTs. So much for excuses.
As awful as Prescott’s work was on Sunday, Buffalo QB Peterman was worse. He completed six passes for 66 yards and threw five INTs for 84 yds (one going for a TD). His QB rating for the Bills was 17.9. His QB rating for the Chargers — you know, the team he was playing against — was 41.1. And he only played one half. If the Bills had left him in the whole game, he could have challenged the NFL record of eight picks in a single game (held by Jim Hardy, in a Chicago Cardinals loss to the Philadelphia Eagles). But sadly, they took him out of the game at the half and threw him into the garbage bin out back.
** On Sunday, with the score tied 9-9 in overtime in the game between the Chiefs and Giants, Eli Manning completed a long pass inside the five yard line to set up a sure field goal. Kansas City radio broadcaster Mitch Holtus asked his fellow announcer whether the team should consider letting the Giants score a TD quickly, to leave time on the clock for the Chargers to even the score.“Um, no,” said color analyst Ken Gammon. “It’s overtime. The game would be over then.”
“Oh, yeah,” Holtus said. “Let’s not do that then.”
Absent that strategic insight, the Chiefs watched helplessly as the Giants kicked the winning field goal moments later.
** Here was NFL.com’s “What to watch for” leading into Monday night’s football game:
— “A decimated Legion of Boom,” referencing the number of hurt Seahawks defensive players.
— “Atlanta's without Devonta Freeman” who was also injured.
— “Last year’s 27-24 Seattle win” which featured late scores by two players who are no longer with the Seahawks.
Sounds more like a “what you won’t see” preview.
** Headline in the Fort Worth Star Telegram Monday morning: “For second consecutive week, some birds embarrass Cowboys.”
Alternate headline: “NFL best Eagles defeat one of those overrated Texas football teams.”
** Philadelphia Eagles: Carson Wentz, obviously
** New England Patriots: That the league still hasn’t found that camera in the visiting coach’s office
** Dallas Cowboys: That Ezekiel Elliott started serving his suspension, so their 2018 season isn’t lost
** New Jersey Giants: That you don’t need a TD to win a game
** New Jersey Jets: That the Giants are so bad, no one notices their crappy season
** Jacksonville Jaguars: Honestly, they’re more stunned than thankful that their team is in first place.
** Cleveland Browns: That they didn’t pass up the chance to draft Wentz … oh, wait …
Lost in the fun of the Eagles win over the Cowboys Sunday was the injury to kicker Jake Elliott, who replaced Caleb Sturgis earlier this year. Dallas had a similar situation — longtime kicker Dan Bailey was injured a few weeks back, so the team brought in Mike Nugent, who scored all the Cowboys’ points on Sunday. But did you know he’s also a horrible human being? Consider:
Dallas replacement kicker Mike Nugent
** Meet a killer dingus, a Mr. “tackle pen-neck”
Yes, I could have made that a pen-neck dingus, but then it would have said he was a killer tackle, which goes against what we’re trying to do here.
** Dad and I split again in our picks this week. I’m getting good at playing him to a standstill. With six weeks left, he’s down six games, and I’m picking at nearly a 63 percent rate for the season. That’s better than eight of ESPN’s 10 NFL expert pickers so far this season. And yet somehow they still have not called.** Delaware was screwed over in the FCS playoffs, when the selection committee decided to invite a weaker New Hampshire team from the CAA instead of the Blue Hens. Of course, this probably wouldn’t have happened if they didn’t get crushed by rival Villanova on Saturday. But when the New Hampshire athletic director sits on the selection board, it raises some questions.
** No team that has ever started the season 9-1 has failed to make the post-season. None. Zero. Zilch.
** Good news! The bye weeks are finally done.
Bad news! Six teams play on Thursday, so you’re roster is going to be all messed up anyways.
Week 11 standings 1 — Foles me Wentz (Capt. Awesome), 1396.29 pts
2 — Gronky Tonk Man (Joel), 1261.01 pts
3 — Animal Crackers (Mom D), 1257.95 pts
4 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 1257.21 pts
5 — Dat CTE Lyfe (Sam), 1217.89 pts
6 — ThePigskin Predators (Dad), 1163.82 pts
7 — Cosby's Sleepers (Mike), 1146.35 pts
8 — Foles v. Sproles (Jo), 1143.85 pts
9 — Tiny Trump Gloves (Jim), 1026.01 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 974.36 pts
11 — SmartyPants on Fire (Paul), 942.69 pts
12 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 927.77 pts
Just call me Jay Ajayi, because I’m running away from the rest of the competition.
This marks my fourth 140-plus-pts showing in the last six weeks, and my 169 pts this time are the second-highest total of any week this year (behind my 172-pts performance in week 8). And the worst part is I left 25 pts on my bench, so it could have been worse. I have a comfortable 135-pts lead over second place with six weeks left to play, and I have already begun dusting off the spot on the Awesome Cup trophy where my name will go again.
The battle for second place (also known as first loser) is heating up, with less than four pts separating Joel, Mom D and Ant. Sam continues to climb from the cellar into contention. Joanna’s strategy of starting a bunch of injured and bye players failed to help advance her cause. And Dad, the league leader in waiver wire moves, seems stuck right in the middle no matter what.
Just six more weeks to glory, folks. Don’t let the cold weather freeze your coaching skills.
1 comment:
The Pigskin Predators are not stuck in the middle. They are poised to make their move and be triumphant in the end. Just like the Eagles after half time against Dallas (the cradle of all evil). Look for great things soon.
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