In an effort to make the event great again (it’s less than a week after the inauguration, after all), the NFL is returning to an AFC vs NFC format (oh, you hadn’t noticed it changed?) and adding a few extra events, including team relay races (lame), more passing skills contests (meh) and a dodgeball game (which legitimately sounds awesome).
But why stop there? There’s so much more potential for an event like this:
** Chip and putt contest: Showing off the golf skills of every Pro-Bowler whose team failed to make the playoffs. They’ll need to brush up on their swings, after all.
** Arm wrestling exhibition: You know every one of the over-testosteroned linebackers will be there to prove their manliness.
** Football trivia showdown: Questions range from “what is a catch” to “name two Mannings who have played football.” Losers are immediately put in the concussion protocol as a precaution.
** Hockey spectacular: This would definitely get higher ratings than the NHL All-Star game. Maybe the NHL could get their stars to play a real football game, just for grins.
** College challenge: Skip the Pro Bowl entirely, somehow get the Browns to play Alabama to determine once and for all if a great college team could beat a terrible pro team. Winner gets a spot in the AFC North next year.
Top performers of the yearQB
3rd place: Drew Brees, 407.32 pts -- 3rd QB drafted (Dad)
2nd place: Matt Ryan, 423.46 pts -- 18th QB drafted (Jeff)
1st place: Aaron Rogers, 460.02 pts -- 2nd QB drafted (Jo)
Ryan was the obvious steal of this class. Cam Newton, the first QB drafted, ended up in 19th place for fantasy scoring for the season. In the professional fantasy prediction business, we call that “not good.”
WR
3rd place: Mike Evans, 212.57 pts -- 8th WR drafted (Ant)
2nd place: Jordy Nelson, 214.30 pts -- 14th WR drafted (Paul)
1st place: Antonio Brown, 215.76 pts -- 1st WR drafted (Bob)
Brown was worth the top pick in the draft for his position, at least. Loudmouth Odell Beckham was the 4th-place finisher, while Tyreek Hill -- not one of the 63 wideouts drafted this year -- finished in fifth, just a few TDs behind Brown.
RB
3rd place: LeSean McCoy, 261.43 pts -- 11th RB drafted (Bob)
2nd place: Ezekiel Elliott, 297.80 pts -- 3rd RB drafted (Mike)
1st place: David Johnson, 340.50 pts -- 1st RB drafted (Joel)
Johnson should have been the #1 overall pick (and was my top pick for my championship-winning team) and put up more points than all but five QBs. In fact, the top eight RBs all scored more than the #1 wideout this year, so stop with this “draft a WR first” nonsense already.
TE
3rd place: Greg Olsen, 132.53 pts -- 3rd TE drafted (Paul)
2nd place: Kyle Rudolph, 140.00 pts -- 25th TE drafted (me)
1st place: Travis Kelce, 143.00 pts -- 4th TE drafted (Jim)
And let this be the end of picking up TEs in the first round too. Often-injured Rob Gronkowski finished 25th among TEs in fantasy scoring, and even Kelce was no better than the 22nd-ranked WR and 24th-ranked RB on the board.
K
3rd place: Dustin Hopkins, 151.00 pts -- undrafted
2nd place: Justin Tucker, 175.00 pts -- 8th K drafted (Joel)
1st place: Matt Bryant, 179.00 pts -- undrafted
Eagles K Caleb Sturgis finished 4th in fantasy scoring, which is either really good news for him or a complete indictment of the position this year.
DEF
3rd place: Denver, 180.00 pts -- 1st DEF drafted (Bob)
2nd place: Minnesota, 185.00 pts -- 8th DEF drafted (Sam)
1st place: Kansas City, 191.00 pts -- 10th DEF drafted (Ant)
Yes, that’s Bob’s third appearance on the list so far. Kinda makes you wonder how his team dropped so far down with so many top players.
D
3rd place: Khalil Mack, 74.50 pts -- undrafted
2nd place: Kwon Alexander, 75.50 pts -- undrafted
1st place: Landon Collins, 82.50 pts -- undrafted
Fun fact -- I actually dropped Mack to pick up Alexander early in the season. That extra point I got made all the work worth it.
"Worst performers of the year" edition
5th place: Jake Fisher, -0.70 pts -- on the wire
4th place: Keshawn Martin, -1.26 pts -- on the wire
3rd place: Sean Mannon, -1.34 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Brett Hundley, -1.52 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Ryan Mallett, -1.56 pts -- on the wire
Congrats to the backup Balitmore QB, who appeared in four games this year and managed to score negative fantasy pts in three of them. He finished the season 3 for 6 for 26 yds with one interception, with a handful of negative rushing yds mixed in there.
Meanwhile, Bills RB Reggie Bush (still somehow not retired) finished the season with 19.52 fantasy pts but became the first non-QB since 1970 to end the season with negative rushing yds (-3, to be exact). So, no matter how bad your 2016 was, you can rest knowing that you rushed for more yds than a disgraced Heisman trophy winner.
** Speaking of of the Pro Bowl, they’re advertising the game as “the best vs the next” which I assume isn’t a reference to the upcoming stars of football but in fact the next players in line to replace all the stars who beg out of the annual mockery of sport.
** All the Marlyand Racial Slurs had to do to get into the playoffs on Sunday was beat an apathetic Giants team with no playoff seeding to worry about. It seemed like nothing at all. In fact, the team itself was so confident that, according to the Washington Post, they started showing potential first-round post-season opponents for the Slurs on the stadium scoreboard at halftime, even though the home team was down 10-0.
Needless to say, it didn’t work out that way. The Slurs lost 19-10 after a last-second desperation lateral was picked off and returned for a defensive TD. The most knife-twisting part was that refs had to bring the teams back to the field for an untimed extra point attempt after most of the Maryland team had already gone to the locker room. The Giants knelt, rather than pile on.
The headline in the local paper today? "End of the season, 'end of the world'" ... which isn't at all overplaying the loss.
The Slurs in recent years have led the league in premature and unnecessary celebrations after every play, so the whole debacle couldn’t happen to a nicer group of guys.
** Carson Wentz: Unlike last year, at least we all feel good about the QB moving ahead. Wentz set the NFL rookie completions record in Sunday’s win, and showed enough skills over his 16 starts to make you feel like he could be great with a more talented supporting cast.
** The draft pick: Going into this year, it looked like the Eagles had given up a plum pick to nab Wentz. Now, after the Sam Bradford trade with the 8-8 Vikings, the Eagles will grab a player in the first round just a few slots lower than their own pick merited.
** The 2017 record: The Eagles are undefeated since the new year started, and have a chance at a rare three wins against the Cowboys this year. So there’s that to look forward to.
** Doug Pederson: I can only think of a few stupid decisions and not much else from the whole season. So, if his goal was not to be a lightning rod, he succeeded wildly.
** The NFC East: Yes, the Cowboys and Giants had great seasons, but this was the 12th consecutive year the division hasn’t had a repeat champion (not since the Eagles from 2001-04). So anything is possible again next year.
The Cowboys enter the playoffs as the number one seed, while the Eagles are heading home for the winter after their aforementioned 7-9 season. And Philly’s 27-13 win over Dallas in Philly yesterday didn’t make one bit of difference in that. So, there really was no value to that victory, right? As always, the letters show the error of your ways.
Eagles defeat rival Dallas Cowboys in a meaningless game
** All cads -- any win against village of demons seems agreeable
Hopefully your 2017 will start off lovely, with quick Cowboys and Giants losses in the playoffs and peace towards all mankind.
** Valiant effort by Dad, but he and I split the weekly picks on Sunday, giving me the yearly title by three games. It’s my second consecutive victory in the annual contest, after three straight years of Dad wins. I finished with a record of 166-88, five games better than last season and a winning rate of 65.4 percent. As always, that’s significantly better than the boobs who get paid millions to do this for a living. ** As part of my New Year’s resolutions list, I’m trying to leave the past in the past. So I’ve got nothing to say about that pitiful excuse for an Ohio State game way, way back in last year.
** With the season finished, we know who the Eagles 2017 opponents will include now. They’ll face the last-place Panthers in Carolina (4th meeting in six years), the last-place Bears in Philly (3rd year playing in a row) and all of the NFC West, including a game against the Cardinals in Philly (6th meeting in seven years).
Didn’t we kick the Cardinals out of the NFC East? Why do we play them all the time still?
Week 17 standings The final league standings -- and the presentation of the Awesome Cup -- will take place Tuesday night.
1 comment:
It's been another fun year. Congratulations to our new Awesome Cup Champion. Now it's off to the playoffs where we can hope that Dallas and New England get knocked out early. Dad Shane
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