Sometimes in life, undeserving people win contests. It doesn’t matter if they’re less skilled, or more incompetent, or less worthy of a lucky bounce. And nowhere was that more obvious in the last week than … in the NFL, where a host of ridiculous finishes abounded. Consider:
** The Saints scored with 1 minute left in their game Sunday to tie the score at 23. It was an impressive comeback, and extra point would give them a much needed win … if the Broncos didn’t block it, return the ball for a two-point score and win 25-23 instead.
** The Rams posted their third game out of nine this year where they failed to score a TD. But they’re 2-1 in those games, after a 9-6 victory over the Jets.
** The Chargers on Sunday played their seventh game decided by eight points or less this season. This one came with San Diego holding the ball just outside field goal range with 70 seconds left in the fourth … only to have QB Phillip Rivers throw a 60-yard interception TD to lose again.
** The Steelers and Cowboys traded leads four times in the fourth quarter, including twice in the last 75 seconds. The Cowboys won despite allowing 408 passing yds to eight different receivers.
Besides that, I can think of any other high-profile, unfortunate upset victories in the last few days. But I may have missed something.
QB: Marcus Mariota, 36.60 pts -- started by Sam
WR: Doug Baldwin, 24.93 pts -- started by Jim
RB: Ezekiel Elliott, 36.73 pts -- started by Mike
TE: Delanie Walker, 18.77 pts -- started by Jeff
K: Steven Hauschka, 16.50 pts -- started by Ant
DEF: Tampa Bay, 30.00 pts -- on the wire
D: Eric Berry, 12.50 pts -- on the wire
How about that Bears offense? The Bucs defense was a better play than most skill positions this week, thanks to a stat line of 10 pts allowed, nine pts scored (a defensive TD and a safety), four turnovers and four sacks. And since they’re owned in only 6 percent of leagues across Yahoo, nearly no one got to benefit from the success.
Meanwhile, former Buckeye Elliot leads the league in rushing yards (first player over 1,000 this season) but is only third among RBs in points per game, just barely behind DeMarco Murray and David Johnson. So that’s something, I guess.
“Getting defensive” edition
3rd place: Jakeem Grant, -0.36 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Trevor Davis, -1.76 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Josh McCown, -3.64 pts -- on the wire
Just when you thought the Browns couldn’t get worse, they pulled McCown off the bench for the second half of their game against the Ravens and sunk even lower. McCown had three turnovers, 59 yds passing and an incredible low 6.4 QB rating (for comparison, as always, your QB rating was 39.6 on Sunday). The 0-10 Browns have a great chance of finishing the season winless this year, a feat accomplished only by the 2008 Lions since the season expanded to 16 games.
And that’s great news for Browns GM Sashi Brown, who is in line for a host of TV jobs if that happens. I mean, I assume that’s the case, since 2008 Lions GM Matt Millen still gets to go everywhere and talk about football despite assembling the worst roster ever. Failure equals success, clearly.
** NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell last week acknowledged the league’s falling TV ratings, and offered several near-term fixes. Among them: speeding up video reviews, and getting referees to announce penalties quicker.
It’s brilliant strategy, because everyone knows the refereeing has been such high quality in recent years that make those guys move quicker won’t harm the quality of play at all…
** In the same interview, Goodell dismissed the possibility that the Thursday night games have diminished the excitement of games by worsening the quality of play and over saturating the market with too many NFL games: “Every game counts, so that makes our inventory incredibly valuable.”
There are four games out of 14 next week that feature two teams with winning records squaring off.
There are two games out of 14 that feature division opponents playing each other. I’d hardly call that a slate of games that all count.
Rams rookie QB Jared Goff is set to make his first NFL start this weekend, just 11 weeks into the season. The 22-year-old #1 overall draft pick is already well behind draft class mates Carson Wentz and Dak Prescott in rookie passer work, but even that seems to sell short just how far off pace the newbie QB is. Here’s a quick list of passers who took the field before the “most NFL ready QB in the draft” makes his debut this year:
** Five Browns QBs: Cody Kessler, Josh McCown, Robert Griffin, Kevin Hogan and Charlie Whitehurt.
** Three former Eagles QBs, for new teams: Nick Foles, Mark Sanchez, Matt Barkley.
** Five other rookie QBs: Wentz, Prescott, Kessler, Jacoby Brissett, Paxton Lynch.
** Three non-QBs: WR Tanner McEvoy (43 yds passing), WR Terrelle Pryor (41 yds passing) and RB DeMarco Murray (10 yds passing).
** Not Tony Romo.
Another week, another painful Cowboys win. After dropping the first game of the season, the damned from Dallas have reeled off eight straight victories, and now sit atop the NFL in terms of record. So, how should we feel about this? Let the letters guide you:
The Dallas win streak reaches eight
** Cheats hired, all these waking tears
It’s possible that the polling on those Cowboys victories are wrong and they’ll actually end up missing the playoffs due to the electoral college. I think that’s how it works.
** Another week, another two-game deficit for Dad. He’s down nine games with seven weeks left. And even if he can crawl back into contention, I hold all the tiebreakers because he plays in the NFC East.
** The Cowboys not only play on Thanksgiving but the Thursday night game after that. I’m not sure how it gives them an advantage, but I’m sure it does.
** The Texans and Raiders will play this Monday night in Mexico City because … I don’t even know anymore. The NFL really, really hates showing its product to Americans, I guess.
Week 10 standings
1 -- Gronky Tonk Man (Joel), 1284.54 pts
2 -- For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 1263.02 pts
3 -- Cosby's Sleepers (Mike), 1232.00 pts
4 -- QBs for Everyone! (Jo), 1209.00 pts
5 -- Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1188.82 pts
6 -- Not with that Attitude (Sam), 1145.29 pts
7 -- May Pay Attention (Paul), 1129.75 pts
8 -- Who's on First? (Dad), 1089.55 pts
9 -- Tiny Trump Gloves (Jim), 1062.63 pts
10 -- North Dakota Reaches (me), 1000.13 pts
11 -- Last exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 955.72 pts
12 -- Yelp for help (Mom Doyle), 921.64 pts
And just like that, Joel is back on top of the standings again. Our second and third place teams (Ant and Jef) both had dreadful, sub-90-pts weeks (still better than my 77-pts squad, though) and slipped back away from the championship spot. And outside the top five, no one moved an inch in the standings.
On a more important note, two teams landed their scores exactly on whole numbers this week, so if you can play double-zero in the lottery, now is as good a time as any.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
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