Fantasy league 2016 -- week 4 recap

 

Sunday was the end of the baseball season (no, they cancelled the postseason, nobody cares) and also marked an end of an era in Phillies baseball: Ryan Howard, the last remaining member of the 2008 World Series champion team, has played his last game for the Fightin’ Phils. So, this feels like a good time to take a look back at what the last decade of baseball has brought to the City of Brotherly Love, to appreciate what Howard did and stands for:

-- 29 All-Star appearances. Chase Utley led the way with six, but seven other Phillies had at least two selections.
-- Two MVPs (Howard in 2006 and Jimmy Rollins in 2007) and a Cy Young Award (Roy Halladay in 2010).
-- Three possible Hall of Famers. Utley and Halladay seem like locks, Cole Hamels is still working on an outside chance.
-- 7 seasons of .500 or better baseball, including a club-record 102 wins in 2011.
-- 10 postseason series appearances, with a record of 6-4 in those series.
-- 5 consecutive NL East titles.
-- One career redefining pinch-hit home run by Matt Stairs.
-- That 2008 World Series title.

Not a bad resume for the team. No matter what else Howard and the rest of them do (or don’t do) in their careers, they should always get free drinks in Center City.

QB: Ben Roethlisberger, 43.90 pts -- on Ant’s bench
WR: Julio Jones, 32.00 pts -- started by Jeff
RB: DeMarco Murray, 24.10 pts -- started by Joel
TE: Jordan Reed, 21.37 pts -- started by Ant
K: Mike Nugent, 19.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: Buffalo, 20.00 pts -- on the wire
D: Robert Alford, 13.00 pts -- on the wire

Let’s talk about that 300-yard performance by Jones for a moment: His total for Sunday alone was better than the season stats for all but 14 other wideouts in the league. And yet as impressive as it was, how did he amass that many yards and only get one TD? It boggles the mind.

Also, Matt Ryan threw for more than 500 yards and honestly no one seems to care at all.


“Players who made me sad” edition

3rd place: Malcolm Johnson, -0.57 pts -- on the wire
2nd place: Drew Stanton, -2.52 pts -- on the wire
1st place: Kansas City, -4.00 pts -- started by Ant

Wow -- as pointed out by Anthony, his defense went from being worth 38 pts last week to -4 this week. We in the professional fantasy football writing business refer to that as “a drop off.”

** Vikings K Blair Walsh has had a rough go of late, and after missing a field goal in the third quarter of Monday’s game, ESPN analyst Jon Gruden wondered how long he’ll keep his job. When Walsh returned to the field a few minutes, he offered this warning:

“He desperately needs this one or his coach and this crowd … will not like it.”

Lucky for Walsh, he hit the FG and the crowd did like it.

** It’s outside the realm of football, really, but I was listening to sports radio on Saturday and heard a cleaning company commercial start with “America is one of the greatest democracies in the history of the world and …”

And my first thought was, who are you couching for in this commercial? Are you really worried that Brits are going to hear this and no hire your local cleaning firm to fly across the ocean and tidy up their basements? Are a lot of your clients complaining that your services are fine but your historical analysis is poorly backed? Just call America the best every and take out the trash, folks.

Sunday was the NFL’s 15th game in London since the start of the 2007 season, meaning the league is just one away from a full slate’s worth over at Wembley Stadium. Most experts see it as a forgone conclusion that the American pastime will install a team permanently there in coming years, but thus far no clues have been released on what to call the first international franchise. But leaked memos obtained by this blog detail that a number of names are already under consideration:

** The London Bridges: With the number of pass interference penalties in the league nowadays, there will always be folks falling down.
** The London Separatists: Expect lots of American flags and Euro-centric history lessons from their mascot, the traitor George Washingon.
** The London Tigers: I mean, every fifth college team is named the tigers, so …
** The London Broils: Inspired by the Miami Heat, of course, but in a more ironic way given England’s chillier temperatures. Also, the team could be chewy if undercoached.
** The London Jaguars: I mean, they’re just gonna relocate that dreadful Jacksonville franchise anyway, so…


Another week, another Cowboys rookie reveals his character. This time it’s newbie defensive lineman Maliek Collins, who comes from Nebraska by way of the gates of Hades (or Texas, hard to tell them apart). Need proof? Just look at the clear message in his name:

Dallas Cowboys Defensive Tackle Maliek Collins
** Clown boasts: I like my evil cold and a feckless ale

Look, I’d understand if dude liked his beer cold and his evil incompetent, but the letters clearly say what they say.

** Another week, another one-game victory for me in the picks against Dad. I’ve now won the last three weeks in a row and sit one game up in our season standings. I’m not saying the contest is over already, but I’m not not saying that either.

** We had our first trade in forever last week! Dad and Paul swapped Drew Brees for Odell Beckham (and some other players, but whatever). And both players stunk this week. So the lesson learned here is … life is unfair?

** Ohio State football looks OK, I guess. I mean, they haven't scored fewer than 45 points in a game yet and through four games are outscoring opponents 228 to 37, but whatever.

Week 4 standings

1 -- For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 512.25 pts
2 -- Not with that Attitude (Sam), 506.24 pts
3 -- QBs for Everyone! (Jo), 504.80 pts
4 -- Gronky Tonk Man (Joel), 489.52 pts
5 -- Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 481.09 pts
6 -- Cosby's Sleepers (Mike), 458.94 pts
7 -- Last exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 454.02 pts
8 -- Who's on First? (Dad), 442.36 pts
9 -- May Pay Attention (Paul), 437.80 pts
10 -- Tiny Trump Gloves (Jim), 429.33 pts
11 -- North Dakota Reaches (me), 393.76 pts
12 -- Yelp for help (Mom Doyle), 338.07 pts

Almost nobody moved in the standings this week. Sam changed his name again (we'll never know if that was a Twin Peaks reference now...) and leapfrogged Joanna, Jeff climbed a few spots, and I somehow drifted further behind.

But real football returns again next week with the Eagles bye done, so I expect and inspired performance from everyone then. Or at least just from Zach Ertz.