** The opposing QB has thrown for 150 yards … in the first 12 minutes (Aaron Rodgers = 341 yards in 3 quarters).
** You QB has created as many scores for the opponents as he has for your team (Mark Sanchez = 2 TD passes, 1 INT returned for a TD, 1 fumble returned for a TD).
** Their team has two 100 yard wideouts … and the 4th quarter just started (Randall Cobb = 129 yards, Jordy Nelson = 109 with 10 mins left in the game)
** The opposing QB’s longest run is longer than your starting RB’s best effort (Rodgers = 16 yards, LeSean McCoy = 13 yards).
** Your team is down 24 pts … at the half (30-6).
** The game ended two days ago, and the Packers just scored again (Bradley Fletcher just let up another long TD, now it’s 60-20)
QB: Aaron Rodgers, 34.84 pts -- started by Bobert WR: Mike Evans, 32,93 pts -- started by Dad
RB: Jonas Gray, 43.90 pts -- on the wire
TE: Coby Fleener, 17.10 pts -- on the wire
K: Greg Zuerlein, 20.00 pts -- on the wire
DEF: Green Bay, 32.00 pts -- on the wire
D: JJ Watt, 15.13 pts -- started by Bobert
Hey, anybody need some players? There are a lot of good ones on the waiver wire this week...
Gray, the Patriots RB, had 131 yards and no TDs on his career (3 games) coming into Sunday’s game. So, naturally, he rushes for 4 scores, something that has only been done 57 other times in league history.
Of course, his effort was pathetic compared to that of Wisconsin RB Melvin Gordon, who dropped a 4-TD, 408-yard performance on Nebraska a day earlier (worth 64.8 pts for those of you playing fantasy NCAA). That’s a new single-game college record. For comparison’s sake, 408 yards is a long way. Like, really far.
“Sam’s bench” edition
3rd place: Delanie Walker, 0.00 pts -- on Sam’s bench
2nd place: Ben Tate, -0.90 pts -- on Sam’s bench
1st place: Indianapolis, -2.00 pts -- on Sam’s bench
Not on the loser list: Giants QB Eli Manning, despite his 5 INT performance on Sunday (he ended up with 7.2 fantasy pts anyway). His errors not only killed any chance of a New York upset win, but also gave the lesser Manning over 200 turnovers for his career, and impressive mark of incompetence for a professional NFLer (Peyton has over 250, but also roughly 3,500 more pass attempts and 274 more TD passes).
Eli hasn’t missed a start since the 2005 opener, and hasn’t thrown fewer than 10 INTs in a season once. Three times he topped 20 picks, and now twice thrown 5 or more picks in a single game.
And, for the record, you were a better QB than him on Sunday, when he posted a 36.6 rating (throwing on ball into the ground gives you a 39.6 rating). But you don’t have two Super Bowl rings like he does, because the world is unfair.
During the radio broadcast of the Ohio State/Minnesota game Saturday, sideline reporter Jim Karsatos kept confusing the word “takeaways” with “takeovers,” noting that the Buckeyes were letting the Golden Gophers hang around with all those “takeovers” on offense.
And, frankly, if your offense keeps getting scooped up in a hostile business merger, then it is hard to stay focused on winning a football game.
** How the 2-8 Jets can still make the playoffs
-- Win their remaining 6 games.
-- Have the Patriots lose their last six.
-- Have the Dolphins go 1-5, beating only the Patriots.
-- Have the Bills go 2-4, beating the Patriots.
-- Then the Jets, at 8-8, would win the AFC North in tiebreakers over New England.
** How the 1-9 Jaguars can still make the playoffs
-- Win their remaining 6 games.
-- Have the Colts lose their last six.
-- Have the Texans go 1-5, beating only the Colts.
-- Have the Titans go 3-3, beating the Colts and Texans.
-- Then the Jags, at 7-9, would win the AFC South.
** How the Buccaneers can still make the playoffs
-- Win a few games. They’re only two games out of first in the NFC South (4-6 Falcons and 4-6 Saints).
This week marked the first professional bye for the Cowboys rookies, a dangerous off stretch for young players who can easily lose their focus on keeping in a football mindset. How did they spend it? Let’s look at newbie Sterling Moore to see if the free time interrupted his preparation:
Dallas rookie defensive back Sterling Moore
** Evil training, reefer cookbook, dead ass smell
Nope, looks like he’s still in perfect Cowboys mid-season form.
** Picked up another game this week on Dad, who may never pick another Patriots game correct ever. That leaves me just one game down with six weeks left, and all the momentum behind me. I’m like Tampa Bay, just a hair away from a playoff berth ...
** Not for nothing, but the Broncos lost TE Julius Thomas, WR Emmanuel Sanders, and RB Montee Hall to injuries on Sunday. My fantasy team in this league features TE Julius Thomas, WR Emmanuel Sanders, and RB Montee Hall. So, I killed the Broncos. You’re welcome, Chargers fans.
Week 11 standings 1 --- Ouch My Zach Ertz --- 1530.92 pts
2 --- Tickle me Romo --- 1516.59 pts
3 --- Stewie Griffins Head --- 1514.84 pts
4 --- Sheldon's Big Money --- 1513.62 pts
5 --- The Maltese Falcons --- 1461.31 pts
6 --- Gettin' Chippy --- 1416.78 pts
7 --- Blue Collar Killers --- 1357.44 pts
8 --- Show Me Your TDs --- 1310.89 pts
9 --- king hippo --- 1304.58 pts
10 --- Car full of Clowneys --- 1283.40 pts
11 --- I Mildly Like WRs --- 1051.22 pts
We’ve got our own college football playoff here, with the top four in the standings just 18 pts apart. Mike grabbed the top spot this week, but a few more TDs could have put me, Dad or Jim up there just as easy. And 31 more TDs could have put Anthony in the lede…
FYI -- only 10 days until the trade deadline for the league. I don’t think we’ve had one in three years in the league, but I’m hearing Peyton Manning may go cheaps now that he has no receivers…
No comments:
Post a Comment