Yes, I was coaching to “win.” Yes that was my decision solely. Nate [Sudfeld] has obviously been here for four years and I felt that he deserved “an opportunity” to get some snaps. (wink)
Listen, if there is anyone out there (gestures towards New York) that thinks that I was not trying to win the game, you know, [TE Zach] Ertz is out there, [DE] Brandon Graham is out there, [CB] Darius Slay is “out” there. All our “top” guys are still on the field at the end, so we were going to “win” the game.
Pretty simple, the “plan” this week (wink, nod) was to get Nate some time and I felt it was “the time” to get him in the game.
Look, you know how I feel about Carson Wentz, I've got the utmost “respect” for him and I feel like we can, together, get these things “corrected.” I still have total faith, total trust in (coughs) Carson Wentz (coughs) and myself together to get the job done.
It’s clear enough to me what he wanted to do and where he stands on the future.
Top QBs of the year
3rd place: Patrick Mahomes, 450.80 pts — 1st QB drafted (Bob)
2nd place: Josh Allen, 469.66 pts — 10th QB drafted (Sam)
1st place: Aaron Rodgers, 478.96 pts — 9th QB drafted (me)
Once again, take this as a lesson as to why you should never draft a QB in the first round. Yes, Bob got good value out of Mahomes there. But he could have gotten even more points out of Rodgers, who was taken seven rounds and 67 players later. Ravens QB Lamar Jackson, the other QB taken in the first round, was only the 10th best QB in our league, and posted 12 more fantasy points than Kik Cousins, who went undrafted and unsigned for the season.
Top WRs of the year
3rd place: Stefon Diggs, 214.43 pts — 32nd WR drafted (Dad)
2nd place: Tyreek Hill, 245.37 pts — 3rd WR drafted (Bob)
1st place: Davante Adams, 255.10 pts — 2nd WR drafted (me)
I still have no idea why everyone had Diggs rated so low, but he made the league pay. He led all of football in targets, catches and receiving yds. Beyond that, though, most of the other elite wideouts were gone early this year. Of the top 15, 12 were drafted in rounds two through six. Shout out to Saints WR Michael Thomas, my #1 overall pick, who ended the year as the 102nd best fantasy wideout, just ahead of Lions WR Quintez Cephus, who you never heard of before this moment.
Top RBs of the year
3rd place: Dalvin Cook, 303.77 pts — 6th RB drafted (Mom D)
2nd place: Alvin Kamara, 312.98 pts — 2nd RB drafted (Jo)
1st place: Derrick Henry, 319.80 pts — 5th RB drafted (Paul)
Henry became only the 8th player in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yds in a season on Sunday, logging his third 200-plus yds rushing game of the season as the Titans clinched the AFC South. Henry led the league in rushing yds, rushing attempts and rushing TDs, so … yeah, probably should have taken him over RB Christian McCaffery (1st RB drafted, 53rd in pts scored).
Top TEs of the year
3rd place: Robert Tonyan, 131.07 pts — undrafted
2nd place: Darren Waller, 186.23 pts — 5th TE drafted (Mike)
1st place: Travis Kelce, 213.06 pts — 2nd TE drafted (Jeff)
Tonyan at third place on this list says less about him and more about the awfulness of the TE position this year. Only five TEs were within 100 pts of Kelce this season, who had 1,416 yds receiving and would have been the 4th best WR if we dropped him in that category. Waller would have been the #8 WR, and actually had two more catches (107) than Kelce (but 220 fewer yds). Meanwhile, no other TEs in the league topped 800 yds or 75 catches on the year.
Top Ks of the year
3rd place: Tyler Bass, 157.50 pts — undrafted
2nd place: Younghoe Koo, 168.00 pts — 7th K drafted (Paul)
1st place: Jason Sanders, 172.00 pts — undrafted
But wait, there’s more bad news! Only three of the top 10 kickers on the year were drafted, and only five of them were signed on fantasy teams before the end of the year. So congrats to everyone (myself included) who drafted a kicker before the 10th round, it was a total waste of time.
Top DEFs of the year
3rd place: Indianapolis, 159.00 pts — 16th DEF drafted (Paul)
2nd place: Pittsburgh, 159.00 pts — 3rd DEF drafted (Jo)
1st place: LA Rams, 165.00 pts — 11th DEF drafted (Mom D)
Last season, the top fantasy defense was the Patriots, with 256 pts. The year before, Chicago hit 200 pts exactly. This season, the best defense (the Rams) fell 35 pts short of that mark. On the other end of the scale, Detroit posted the worst fantasy total in this category all year, with 21 total pts across 16 games. They never topped 10 fantasy pts in any single week and had as many negative games (five) as games about 4 pts.
Top Ds of the year
3rd place: Roquan Smith, 66.50 pts — undrafted
2nd place: Marlon Humphrey, 69.50 pts — undrafted
1st place: Devin White, 72.50 pts — undrafted
Defensive players, man. One day we’ll all figure out the secret to getting good ones.
WR: Brandin Cooks, 29.07 pts — started by Sam
RB: Jonathan Taylor, 37.87 pts — started by Ant
TE: Darren Waller, 18.80 pts — started by Mike
K: Ka'imi Fairbairn, 17.00 pts — started by Mom D
DEF: LA Rams, 25.00 pts — on Mike’s bench
D: Maxx Crosby, 11.50 pts — on the wire
In what may be his final game for the Patriots, Newton delivered a beatdown to the lowly Jets, with 242 passing yds, 3 passing TDs, 79 rushing yds and a 19-yard TD catch. Looking forward to seeing him in a Lions uniform next year after that franchise foolishly trades away QB Matt Stafford.
Taylor actually outrushed Henry on the week, totaling 253 yards on 30 carries (as opposed to Henry’s measly 250 yds on 34 carries). His 11-win Colts are the 7th seed in the playoffs, and would have missed out on the postseason if not for the extra spot added this season. If Miami had won, the Colts would have been the first team ever to miss the playoffs despite 11 wins. As it is, they’ll just be the first team eliminated on Saturday.
“Worst performers of the year” edition5th place: Matt Schaub, -0.40 pts — on the wire
4th place: Adrian Killins, -0.57 pts — on the wire
3rd place: Tim Boyle, -0.90 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Nate Sudfeld, -1.52 pts — on the wire
1st place: Kendall Hinton, -2.78 pts — on the wire
Too little, too late: Eagles third-string QB Sudfeld made a bid in the dying moments of the season to grab the title of the worst player of the year, producing two turnovers in his first five plays of action in the fourth quarter of the team’s miserable finale. But a few late rushes and completions gave him just enough points to fall behind Hinton, the WR turned emergency QB for the Broncos the week they had four signal callers sidelined by coronavirus. In Sudfeld’s defense, as someone who has played QB in the past, it was probably too much for him to be as bad as a player who had never run the position. So they best he could do is be almost as bad as a complete newbie.
Sudfeld is the second Eagle on the worst performers list. Killins fumbled on his only carry of the season, during the second half of Philly’s win over San Francisco in week 5. That’s a pair of rare missteps by an Eagles offense that ran near perfectly for the rest of the year.
** From ESPN last Wednesday: “While dancing around to celebrate his team's win in the Duke's Mayo Bowl, Wisconsin QB Graham Mertz dropped the football-shaped piece of Lenox crystal, leaving it shattered on the floor of the locker room after it fell off its base.”
The team and the sponsors laughed off the destruction of the trophy, which valued at somewhere in the five-figure range. But this isn’t the first time a crystal football trophy has been wrecked by a collegiate football team, which begs the question: Why the hell are you giving fragile crystal trophies to college football players? Make the dumb things out of steel, or aluminum, or mayonnaise, or something that doesn’t cost $10K-plus and shatters easily.
Seriously, Wisconsin and Minnesota play every year for a replica of Paul Bunyan’s axe, which they swing around after victory. Do not trust these guys with anything glass-based.
** On Saturday night, NFL.com had a story with the headline “Picking teams that will make the playoffs” which featured a photo mash-up of Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald (weird pick, not one of their top two stars), Rams DE Aaron Donald, Maryland Football Team DE Chase Young and Eagles QB Jalen Hurts.
One of these things is not like the other…
Eleven teams had a chance to seal a playoff spot on Sunday. Not sure I would have featured the Eagles, eliminated a week earlier, over those other eight squads. But, I also wouldn’t have made the four-win Eagles the game of the week for the NFL, so I obviously don’t know football.
** Maryland Football Team Coach Ron Rivera, after his team was gifted a division title by the Eagles:
"You apologize for losing in the playoffs, but you don't apologize for getting in."
Naw, man, your team is 7-9. You should apologize for something.
Now that the regular season is complete, here is a partial list of folks for whom I have no sympathy:
** The New Jersey Giants: They could have gotten into the playoffs with an Eagles win over Washington. They also could have gotten into the playoffs if they won seven games, or if they did better than 2-8 outside the division. So, maybe next time, don’t suck so much and you may deserve a playoff spot.
** The Arizona Cardinals: They could have made the playoffs with a win in the last week. Instead, they lost to the Rams, who were playing without their #1 QB, their #1 RB and their #2 WR. And they lost by double digits. It’s worth noting that the 8-8 Cardinals were a hail mary and a last-minute TD against the Eagles away from being a 6-10 team.
** Jets coach Adam Gase: He was bad at winning (9-23 in two years in New Jersey) and bad a losing (won two of the team’s last four games, with the #1 pick on the line.). You really need to be good at one or the other.
** The Miami Dolphins: Is it fair that they won 10 games and missed the playoffs, while a seven-win NFC East team got in? No. But you would have gotten in with 11 wins, and you could have had that total if you didn’t lose to a garbage Patriots team in the opener. Miami hasn’t swept a single season against New England since 2000. They don’t deserve the playoffs until they do.
** Boston fans: Do you realize this is the first time since 1993 that the Patriots and Red Sox have both had a losing record in the same calendar year? Don’t you just feel terrible for the incomparable pain they’ve had to endure? Thoughts and prayers, folks.
For the final anagram of the season we have the newest Cowboy of them all: Offensive Tackle William Sweet, a second-year pro activated from the practice squad for the first time this week. And despite his newness to the Dallas squad, his name can tell you everything you need to know about his team: William Sweet
** We lame, I wilts
Not enough? Let me spell it out a little more for you...
OT William Sweet
** Team lies, low wit
Still not enough? Well, if you insist:
New OT William Sweet
** Will smite a tween. Ow!
OK, ok, one more, but only because it’s the end of the season:
New Dallas OT William Sweet
** A lewd latte: I wallow in mess
Remember in the off season that even if the insult anagram machine is resting, the Cowboys hatred for all things pure and good doesn’t take a break. Be vigilant, my friends.
** Another solid week of picks from me earns me the season title over Dad. It’s the fourth time in the last five years I’ve bested the old man, and it comes with an accurate pick percentage this year of more than 68 percent (163-76). Yet again, that’s better than all nine experts on ESPN’s weekly panel. And yet, somehow, I never get a call from them.** So, we’re all rooting for the Chiefs again, I guess?
Week 17 standings
The final league standings, and the winner of this year’s Awesome Cup, will be announced later this week.
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