LB Sam Eguavoen
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
S Clayton Fejedelem
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
LB Kamu Grugier-Hill
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
CB Noah Igbinoghene
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
LB Andrew Van Ginkel
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
DE Emmanuel Ogbah
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
LB Durval Queiroz Neto
Dolphins Defense Nonsense String
Yeah, that button does nothing, because they all are, in fact, real players on the Dolphins defense. Well, all except for Durval Queiroz Neto. He is not.
(He’s an offensive guard on their practice squad).
WR: Keelan Cole, 19.89 pts — on Mike’s bench
RB: Alvin Kamara, 28.53 pts — started by Jo
TE: Rob Gronkowski, 10.40 pts — started by Bob
K: Tyler Bass, 18.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Las Vegas, 17.00 pts — on the wire
D: Jamie Collins Sr., 10.50 pts — on the wire
Outside of Brady and Jacbos, those are some pretty low scores for the top performers. Gronkowski had a whopping two catches for 51 yds and a TD, but he was still the best of his position for the week. Willie Snead caught two TDs and still didn’t amass enough yds to top 20 points or Cole.
The Raiders defense may be the most confusing of the group. So far this season, they’ve been worth fewer than five fantasy points in seven of nine games, and worth negative points in three. Against Denver on Sunday, they recorded five turnovers and two sacks, and held the Broncos to just 12 points. In case you’re thinking of snagging them for a start next week, be warned that this may not be a case of the Raiders being good, but instead the Broncos being really bad right now.
“More bad defenses” edition3rd place: (tie) Carolina, -1.00 pts — on the wire
3rd place: (tie) LA Chargers, -1.00 pts — on Jo’s bench
2nd place: (tie) Tennessee, -2.00 pts — started by Bob
2nd place: (tie) Washington, -2.00 pts — started by Ant
1st place: (tie) Denver, -6.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: (tie) Cincinnati, -6.00 pts — on the wire
That is a lot of underperforming right there.
First, shout out to the Bengals and the Broncos, who both managed to surrender 36+ points this week without recording a sack or a turnover. It’s the Denver defense’s first trip into negative territory on the season, but Cincinnati’s third.
Second shout out to bad luck Bob, who started a points-losing defense for the second time in three weeks. The Titans last six games on fantasy defense are negative 4, plus 6, negative 3, plus 15, negative 2. If you have any idea what to make of that, give Bob a hand, will ya?
And a final hat tip to Paul for a truly miserable performance by his team this week. He totaled a mere 52.62 pts, behind three players on a bye, one injured player and two TEs who combined for fewer than 5 pts. That’s not the lowest weekly score we’ve ever seen, but it’s in the top five.
** Report from ESPN reporter Ed Werder on Monday: “Drew Brees suffered two fractured ribs Sunday against the 49ers and three others on the right side the previous week against the Bucs that were not seen on X-ray until today. Brees has been advised to be cautious with the collapsed lung.”I don’t know what’s worse: Not diagnosing three broken ribs until a week later or having to advise a player to “be cautious” with his collapsed lung. I expect that if Brees is in pain this week, team doctors will prescribe a strong punch in the face.
** After Patriots WR Jakobi Meyers threw a 24-yd TD pass on a trick play Sunday night, the NBC announcing crew noted that Meyers had starred as a QB in high school in Georgia. “What an arm!” Al Michaels exclaimed as they showed grainy video of Meyers from 2015 slinging a TD to a high school teammate.
The thing is, it was a video of a 20-yd TD pass. I believe Meyers probably was a pretty good passer, but I also believe that nearly every player who made it into the NFL — including the offensive linemen — can probably throw the ball 20 yards. Heck, the fifth-grader who lives in this house can throw one 15 yards (I know, we’ve measured).
I’m not really sure it was as impressive as the 76-year-old Michaels — who may or may not be able to see 20 yards downfield — really believed.
** Listening to the Eagles game on local Philly radio, I heard the familiar Dietz and Watson commercial with a new — and unfortunate — tag line. It started listing a bunch of products, before getting to “Dietz Nuts meat bites” and finishing with “it’s a family thing.”
I assure you, dear friends at D&W, that entendre is not a “family thing.”
In light of Eagles Coach Doug Pederson’s indefensible decision to go for two while down four in the third quarter of Sunday’s game, here’s a quick math review:
** Field goals are worth three points. If you’re behind by three or fewer, you can kick a field goal and be in good position. If you’re behind by four or more, a single field goal can’t win or tie the game for you.
** Touchdowns are worth six points. After you score one, you can try for one or two points. If you try for two and don’t get it, you don’t get to add another point to your score. You just get six then.
** The Eagles have tried 12 two-point conversion attempts this year. They’ve succeeded on half. That means that if they just kicked the extra point each of those times, they would have the same number of points.
** Eagles Kicker Jake Elliot signed a five-year contract worth nearly $22 million one year ago this month. That’s about $275,000 a game to not participate on half of the extra-point plays after Eagles TDs this year (11-11 on XP attempted).
** The Eagles have three wins. Arguably they could have six, if they were coached better. Six is not as good as seven but still better than three.
It has been a bad year for the Cowboys, but there have been bright spots. Take, for instance, first-year offensive lineman Tyler Biadasz, who is in the running for the all-pro team due to his exemplary play. Surely, someone having a season like him can see some good coming out of this lost year of football in Dallas, right?
No. Just look at what his name spells out:
Cowboys rookie center Tyler Biadasz
** Block? No. Cry? Yes! It’s a bad zoo. We retire.
Retiring after just nine games isn’t much of a career, but if it saves your eternal soul from the hellscape that is Cowboys HQ, then maybe it is worth it.
** Grabbed two more victories against Dad this week, both in dramatic fashion: A last-second 59-yd FG by Detroit to beat the nameless Maryland squad and a last-second hail-mary TD by Arizona to beat Buffalo. I’m up eight games with just seven weeks left. If this was the NFC East, I’d already have clinched a playoff spot.
** Big game for #3 Ohio State this weekend as they square off against #9 Indiana … maybe? Fifteen games were cancelled last weekend due to covid outbreaks and six more have already been cancelled for next weekend. So … go football?
** It really is conceivable that the Eagles could finish the season at 5-10-1 and still win the NFC East. That fifth win could be the difference between a playoff berth or a top-10 draft pick.
Week 10 standings
1 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1290.50 pts
2 — Bird Immunity (Mike), 1276.90 pts
3 — 5th Grade Math (Jo), 1234.25 pts
4 — The XL Garbage Bags (Capt. Awesome), 1226.28 pts
5 — Pre-Recorded Boos (Bob), 1215.78 pts
6 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 1205.90 pts
7 — The Mom Football Tm (Mom D), 1174.12 pts
8 — The Slaymakers (Ant), 1117.26 pts
9 — Lataja Orly Lataja (Dad), 1075.91 pts
10 — Soccer Orphans (Paul), 977.47 pts
11 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 769.45 pts
A week of mediocre returns tightens the race for the top spot. Joanna took a big jump to take the lead for the best team based out of Fort Awesome, while Mike climbed back towards the top. Seven teams are within 120 pts of first place, with seven more weeks to go.
Thursday night’s contest features the first-place Cardinals (gawd, it feels uncomfortable to type that out) against the suddenly failing Seahawks. Seattle plays Philadelphia in two weeks, but QB Russell Wilson has already caught a case of the Wentzes — 10 turnovers in his last four games. Hopefully he can keep that going until the end of the month.
** Field goals are worth three points. If you’re behind by three or fewer, you can kick a field goal and be in good position. If you’re behind by four or more, a single field goal can’t win or tie the game for you.
** Touchdowns are worth six points. After you score one, you can try for one or two points. If you try for two and don’t get it, you don’t get to add another point to your score. You just get six then.
** The Eagles have tried 12 two-point conversion attempts this year. They’ve succeeded on half. That means that if they just kicked the extra point each of those times, they would have the same number of points.
** Eagles Kicker Jake Elliot signed a five-year contract worth nearly $22 million one year ago this month. That’s about $275,000 a game to not participate on half of the extra-point plays after Eagles TDs this year (11-11 on XP attempted).
** The Eagles have three wins. Arguably they could have six, if they were coached better. Six is not as good as seven but still better than three.
It has been a bad year for the Cowboys, but there have been bright spots. Take, for instance, first-year offensive lineman Tyler Biadasz, who is in the running for the all-pro team due to his exemplary play. Surely, someone having a season like him can see some good coming out of this lost year of football in Dallas, right?No. Just look at what his name spells out:
Cowboys rookie center Tyler Biadasz
** Block? No. Cry? Yes! It’s a bad zoo. We retire.
Retiring after just nine games isn’t much of a career, but if it saves your eternal soul from the hellscape that is Cowboys HQ, then maybe it is worth it.
** Grabbed two more victories against Dad this week, both in dramatic fashion: A last-second 59-yd FG by Detroit to beat the nameless Maryland squad and a last-second hail-mary TD by Arizona to beat Buffalo. I’m up eight games with just seven weeks left. If this was the NFC East, I’d already have clinched a playoff spot. ** Big game for #3 Ohio State this weekend as they square off against #9 Indiana … maybe? Fifteen games were cancelled last weekend due to covid outbreaks and six more have already been cancelled for next weekend. So … go football?
** It really is conceivable that the Eagles could finish the season at 5-10-1 and still win the NFC East. That fifth win could be the difference between a playoff berth or a top-10 draft pick.
Week 10 standings 1 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1290.50 pts
2 — Bird Immunity (Mike), 1276.90 pts
3 — 5th Grade Math (Jo), 1234.25 pts
4 — The XL Garbage Bags (Capt. Awesome), 1226.28 pts
5 — Pre-Recorded Boos (Bob), 1215.78 pts
6 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 1205.90 pts
7 — The Mom Football Tm (Mom D), 1174.12 pts
8 — The Slaymakers (Ant), 1117.26 pts
9 — Lataja Orly Lataja (Dad), 1075.91 pts
10 — Soccer Orphans (Paul), 977.47 pts
11 — Patriots Secret Cam (Joel), 769.45 pts
A week of mediocre returns tightens the race for the top spot. Joanna took a big jump to take the lead for the best team based out of Fort Awesome, while Mike climbed back towards the top. Seven teams are within 120 pts of first place, with seven more weeks to go.
Thursday night’s contest features the first-place Cardinals (gawd, it feels uncomfortable to type that out) against the suddenly failing Seahawks. Seattle plays Philadelphia in two weeks, but QB Russell Wilson has already caught a case of the Wentzes — 10 turnovers in his last four games. Hopefully he can keep that going until the end of the month.
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