Fantasy league 2018 -- week 11 recap

 

Things to be thankful for as Philadelphia fans this Thanksgiving:

** The Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.
** The Phillies and the Sixers appear to be on the upswing.
** The Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.
** The Giants added a Pro-Bowl RB in the draft, and it may have set their franchise back years because they didn’t select a QB.
** The Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.
** Sidney Crosby is one year closer to retirement.
** The Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.
** Gritty will delight your dreams and haunt your nightmares, so that’s fun.
** The Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.
** No matter how bad the current Eagles’ season goes, the Eagles won the Super Bowl this year.

 

QB: Patrick Mahomes, 47.92 pts — started by Ant
WR: Tyreek Hill, 31.77 pts — started by Sam
RB: Saquon Barkley, 33.87 pts — started by Joel
TE: Travis Kelce, 19.47 pts — started by Jo
K: Matt Bryant, 17.00 pts — started by Mom D
DEF: LA Rams, 19.00 pts — on my bench
D: Samson Ebukam, 19.50 pts — on the wire

Only five of the top seven performers on the week came from that Monday night Chiefs/Rams game (and the #2 TE, WB and D as well). But that happens when you have the third-highest scoring game in NFL history. Special congrats to Kansas City’s Andy Reid for becoming the first coach in league history to lose a game where his team scored more than 50 pts.

Also, I hate defenses this year. Two weeks ago the Rams gave up 45 pts and were worth -4 in the fantasy tally. This week, they give up 45 more pts to the Chiefs offense and end up 23 higher in fantasy scoring. Because, football.


“Players we own” edition

3rd place: Wendell Smallwood, -0.40 pts — on Mike’s bench
1st place (tie): Philadelphia, -6.00 pts — on Bob’s bench
1st place (tie): Tennessee, -6.00 pts — started by me

Did I mention I hate defenses this year?

Honestly, I don’t remember Smallwood even touching the ball on Sunday. Then again, I blacked out most of the game from my memory ...

But, in the interest of fairness, I must note that Carson Wentz’s performance on Sunday (the worst of his career) equated to a 31.9 passer rating (19 for 33 with 156 yds and 3 INTs). That was about 8 points worse than your passer rating on Sunday evening, (0 for 1 with no yds, TDs or INTs equals a 39.5 rating). So, good work by you, I guess.

** The NFL Red Zone channel, which is awesome in every way except for this one mistake they made, noted that the Houston Texans with victory on Sunday would tie the longest win streak in team history since 1970. They should have noted it was the longest win streak since 1492, since the team didn’t exist before 2002.

And, yes, they may have been referencing the Houston Oilers, who left town in 1996 and later became the Titans. But the Titans still claim that Oiler franchise history, and Houston was a new expansion team. If we’re sharing team history now, then all of those Steeler Super Bowls trophies belong in Philadelphia because the two teams shared a roster in 1943.

** Headline in the Washington Post last week: “Babe Ruth is finally awarded Medal of Freedom. Family and fans wonder, ‘What the heck took so long?’”

Ah, yes. Finally someone is recognizing the greatness of Babe Ruth. Before last week, most of the public had never heard of the guy. But now that he posthumously received this award, which wasn’t given to any civilians until 1963 (15 years after he died and 28 years after his baseball career), maybe he’ll get some public attention for his little-known contributions to American sports.

** NFL.com has a seven-minute video on QB Tom Brady about to break the 1,000-yd rushing mark for his career.

For perspective, that would put him at … honestly, I have no idea. I can’t find any stat lists that go down that low. He’s not in the top 50 career rushing yds among active players. If he makes 1,000 this season, he’ll be 3,928 behind Randall Cunningham, the all-time leader in rushing yds among QBs.

But, yeah, please give us more Brady fawning. There’s not enough of that in the NFL today.

Here’s how the 2-8 Oakland Raiders can still make the playoffs:

** Oakland wins its last six games to finish 8-8, 7-5 in the AFC.
** Miami goes 2-4 over its last six, finishes 7-9.
** Indianapolis goes 2-4 over its last six, finishes 7-9.
** Baltimore goes 2-4 over its last six, finishes 7-9.
** Tennessee goes 3-3 over its last six, finishes 8-8, 6-6 in the AFC.
** Cincinnati goes 3-3 over its last six, finishes 8-8, 6-6 in the AFC.
** Denver goes 3-3 over its last six, finishes 7-9.
** Cleveland, Jacksonville, Buffalo and the New Jersey Jets don’t win more than four games each.

Oakland would then claim the #6 playoff spot based on tiebreakers. The Raiders and Bengals play in week 15, so obviously that gives Oakland a huge chance to make this a reality if they can just hold on for another month.


How do you describe a player like Cowboys Defensive Tackle Caraun Reid, a Princeton grad who has already played for five teams in three years (including being cut and resigned by the Cowboys this season)? Some would call him obsessed with staying in the league. Others would just make fun of his name:

DT Caraun Reid
** A trained crud

Honestly, that would be enough right there. But I’ve got more:

DT Caraun Reid
** Turd radiance
** A rerun addict
** Urinated card
** A red, acrid nut
** Iran cat udder

I’m fairly sure that “Iran cat udder” is a really racist term against some group, but I can’t figure out who, so we’ll keep it in there for laughs.

** I’m down 13 games to Dad in our weekly picks with just six weeks left to go. If I can just pick up two games every week from here on out … I will be shocked.

** You know, if the Eagles win 5 of their next six, they could end up … nevermind, nevermind.

** Your periodic DC high school football update: In the Washington Catholic Athletic Conference title game this week, Dematha Catholic led 36-33 with 39 seconds left. Here’s what happened next:

— 15 yd TD pass by Gonzaga. Zags 40, DeMatha 36, 29 seconds left.
— 80 yd kickoff return TD by Dematha. Zags 40, DeMatha 43, 15 seconds left.
— Touchback. 25 yd pass by Gonzaga. Zags 40, DeMatha 43, 4 seconds left.
— 55 yd Hail Mary TD by Gonzaga. Zags 46, DeMatha 43. Game over.

If you need proof … 

Week 11 standings

1 — For Who? For Wentz? (Ant), 1503.72 pts
2 — Nick 'MVP' Foles (Capt. Awesome), 1460.27 pts
3 — Spell It L-A-U-B.... (Paul), 1424.28 pts
4 — Philly Special (Jo), 1380.70 pts
5 — Kneel Armstrong (Sam), 1373.00 pts
6 — Witch Hunting (Jim), 1342.57 pts
7 — We Love the Mud (Mom D), 1292.14 pts
8 — The Garoppolo Gamble (Joel), 1264.04 pts
9 — Kiss A Fish Today (Dad), 1179.39 pts
10 — Last Exit 2 Kutztown (Bob), 1167.71 pts
11 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1100.56 pts
12 — SweatpantsEnthusiast (Mike), 1082.45 pts

DOWN GOES THE DEFENDING CHAMP! (for now)

Another bad week by me and another stellar week by Ant puts him atop the standings. I wonder if swapping out the highest scoring defense for the lowest scoring one hurt my team...

Anthony didn’t just grab first place, he raced ahead by more than 40 pts. Unfortunately for him, Mahomes is on a bye this week, so he’ll have to find his fantasy bonanza somewhere else for at least one week.

Paul and Jo remain right in the thick of the action, while the Jim-Mom-Joel tier remains just out of respectable reach. And, after that, Mike is still in the league.

Two teams on a bye and six teams playing on Thursday. Don’t forget to set your roster before you loosen your belt for the turkey.