Let’s recap that awful weekend again
Cheer up, frowny faces! There’s always a silver lining! Let’s look at this weekend in Philadelphia (and greater Pretzelvania) sports again and see what there is to smile about:
** The Phils season ended Saturday, completing their playoffs with their worst offensive drought since the All-Star break;
** The Flyers lost 5-3 on Saturday night on a game-winner by former Flyer Joni Pinkaten;
** The Redskins and Giants both won convincingly on Sunday;
** The Delaware football team lost its bid for an undefeated season Saturday with a loss to the slightly bigger New Hampshire football team.
** Sunday was the 30-year anniversary of the Phillies “Black Friday” loss to the Dodgers in the 1977 playoffs, where the Phils blew a 5-3 lead with two outs in the ninth.
** Dallas won on Monday night despite six turnovers and a nine-point Buffalo lead with 21 seconds left.
** Katie Couric spoke to the American Dental Association Convention in Philadelphia on Saturday.
** Temple football notched its annual win, a 16-15 squeaker over Northern Illinois.
Yay, Temple! Gooooo Owls! You’ve made us all so proud! I've forgotten about all the other dissapointments already!
Top Performers
** QB: Tom Brady, 28.60 pts – started by Jo
** RB: Kenton Keith, 31.57 pts – sitting on the wire
** WR: Larry Fitzgerald, 24.07 pts – started by Ant
** TE: Ben Watson, 26.23 pts – started by Neal
** K: Kris Brown, 23.00 pts – sitting on the wire
** DEF (tie): Washington, 31.00 pts – started by me
** DEF (tie): Buffalo, 31.00 pts – sitting on the wire
Keith plays for Indy – I don’t know where he came from either. And yes, that’s my first appearance in the top performers this year and yes, I’m not happy about it.
I already grabbed the Buffalo D too, in case you were wondering.
Andy Reid Blown Call of the Week award
Anthony runs away with this one: He got a season-low 65 points by starting two players on byes and two injured players who were ruled out of action well in advance of Sunday. And none of them were Eagles. I mean, we’d forgive you if you just wanted some Eagles football so bad to wash that lousy Phillies game away that you started McNabb even though he was off, but Marc Bulger? Not so much.
Honorable mention goes to Jim, who liked the Raiders D so much he scooped them up this week and started them even though they weren’t playing; and Neal, who did the same thing with the Cincy D just for fun.
Worst performers, "Guys with funny names" edition
Third Place: BJ Askew, 1.20 pts – sitting on the wire
Second Place: Ovie Mughelli, 0.10 pts – sitting on the wire
First Place: Yamon Figurs, -0.10 pts – sitting on the wire
Just a point of clarification: Lots of other guys sucked too. They just didn’t make me laugh.
Stupidest thing I heard this week
I actually had to go back and find this one online to make sure I didn't make it up.
Last Thursday, on our local NPR station, reporter Rosiland Jordan dropped this bomb in the middle of a report on the Maryland business climate as seen by local experts:
"But regional CEO Ken Cook says on a scale of one to 10, some owners view of the Maryland economy isn't as rosy."
I make that joke all the time -- "on a scale of one to 10, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard" -- but on NPR? In a serious report? C'mon! You've gotta give a number. That's the whole point of the "scale of one to 10" part!
So that's been gnawing away at my skull for days now. But since this column is usually about sports, I'll give you another one too.
Saturday night, during the Buckeyes win over the Perdue Boiled Chickens, Ohio State jumped to an 14-0 lead then recovered a fumble on the ensuing kickoff. Announcer Brent Mussberger predicted that the Buckeyes would aim for the end zone on the next play because "Jim Tressel likes to go for the juggler."
Sure enough, on the next play a wide receiver ran downfield and tackled that party clown on the sidelines. His juggling was quite distracting, and it turned out to be a turning point in the game.
Those awful, awful Philly fans
I’m sure you heard all the news reports this week about the horrible Philadelphia fans and how they like to boo when the team does things like bat .175 and give up a grand slam to a guy who had four homers all year. If only they could act more like the responsible fans elsewhere:
** Bills fans egged and urinated on – yes, urinated on – the Cowboys team bus as it came into town Monday night . It got a passing mention on ESPN.
** Dolphins fans did one better, throwing a bottle through the window of a Raiders team bus before Sunday’s game. It shattered glass onto a few players, and got a quick write up in the Oakland papers.
** Rockies fans threw a ball at OF Jason Werth during Saturday night’s game in Colorado as he tried to catch a deep fly. The ball missed, and the announcers glossed over it.
Let just hope none of them booed while they did it. That’d be wrong.
Cowboys anagram insult of the week
As this season continues to go uphill for the evil empire and downhill for all the good-hearted Cowboys-hating folks around the globe, I'm starting to see much deeper patterns in the anagrams. And it's not for the better, I'm afraid. Just look at what popped out when I heard "yet another Tony Romo touchdown pass" this weekend:
**Your head arcs -- The monotony won't stop.**
Coincidence? I think not.
Links corner
** Bad setback for the Gahanna Texans this week, but the good sports reporter covering the league posted video anyway. His commitment to journalism is unmatched.
** The professional column is up.
Our standings so far
First Place: I need linebackers, Paul -- 779.92 pts
Second Place: Updog, Neal -- 684.75 pts
Third Place: We want Detmers, Jo -- 652.46 pts
Jim is less than 0.6 pts behind Jo, and five others are within 40 points of third. Meanwhile, somebody is within 100 points of Paul for the first time in a month. It was a bad week for him with Tony Romo's six turnovers, but somehow I think he's OK with that.
For the record
** Dad picked up two more games – I’m down nine on the season. Ouch.
** Seriously, five picks and the stinking Cowboys still won? What the heck!
1 comment:
Speaking of dummest things this week, check out this Yahoo player news update that showed up next to Torry Holt this week:
Advice: Holt has offseason surgery to repair torn cartilage. He should be fine to play this weekend, but don't expect much. Holt has over 1,000 receiving yards the last seven seasons, but has been limited to 351 yards in five games this year.
OK everyone, lets break out our calculators. Holt is averaging 70.2 yards a game this season, which over 16 games will total...wait for it...1,123 yards.
Yes, that would be his seventh 1000-yard season in a row. But don't expect much.
And by the way, I picked up the Raiders D because, by scoring zero points last week, they outscored the Miami defense in each of the three prior weeks.
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