Spring Training

Phillies spring training gets in full swing this week, which means two things: someday winter will end and that icy spot on the driveway will finally go away; and baseball is just around the corner.

So to help you get ready for the excitement of foul outs and the infield fly rule, here are six reasons (in tribute to the reigning MVP) that you should be getting yourself in a Phillies state of mind.

The Phillies are guaranteed to hit a historic milestone this summer.
Sure, it's a lousy milestone, but history is history. The Phils need 44 more losses to become the first pro sports franchise ever to record 10,000 losses. With luck, it should come just after the All-Star break in July. You can follow here.

The Phillies could double the other major Philly sports teams' win totals.
On the positive side, 90 wins isn't out of the question for the Phils. The Eagles successful season ended with 11 wins. Right now the Sixers have 17 wins and the Flyers have 16, and they very well might not win another game. That gives them 44 total. It could happen.

The Philles have a pair of mutant freaks on their squad.
One you know about: Ryan Howard's superpower allows him to send little white balls into orbit. But Antonio Alfonseca actually qualifies as a carnival freak -- he has six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot. Seriously.

A 162-game baseball season gives me 162 chances to post anagrams.
That's not gonna happen. But it does give me a chance to dabble in one now and then, to keep my skills sharp. Chase Utley? "He lusty ace!"

The Braves still suck.
Baseball is a good time to recailbrate your hatreds during the NFL offseason. Now, you've got to shift from hating the Dallas Cowboys, New Jersey Giants and Maryland Racial Slurs over to hating the Hotlanta Braves, the New York Mets, and the Dallas Cowboys. Gawd, I hate those Cowboys.

It's either watch the Phillies or the Philly Soul.
The Arena football league starts March 9. Todd France, the very poor man's David Akers, still plays for the squad. Somebody named Felipe Claybrooks plays defense for them. And the Soul has only won one playoff game in their history. No thanks.

The first preseason game is March 1, against the Tigers. Start coming up with your best Placido Palanco taunts now.