Fantasy football 2025 -- final season standings

It has been a long journey, but we’ve finally arrived at our season's destination: the crowning of the 24th annual Awesome Cup champion. But you can’t have a king or queen without all the peasants below them, so let’s look at how our 11 runners-up fared before we present the trophy:

The B Sharps (Paul)

Yahoo pre-season ranking:1856.86 pts, 7th place
My pre-season ranking: 1736.92 pts, 11th place
Final ranking: 1519.52 pts, 12th place
NFL equivalent: Las Vegas Raiders

It’s no mystery what the problem was for Paul’s team or the Raiders: Not enough good players. For the actual NFL team, that’s because of poor drafting strategy and mediocre free agency moves. For Paul, it was simply about forgetting to start a QB for the last half of the season (-0.30 total QB points from week 9 to week 18). The Raiders addressed their poor play on Monday by firing coach Pete Carroll. Should Paul consider firing himself? It might not be the worst idea…

All Rogers No Sauce (Joel)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1861.38 pts, 6th place
My pre-season ranking: 1657.07 pts, 12th place
Final ranking: 1653.62 pts, 11th place
NFL equivalent: Tennessee Titans

A disappointing finish for both squads, but both showed signs of hope at the end. After starting the season 1-11, the Titans won two of their final five. Joel’s squad? 100+ fantasy points in five of the last six weeks. Sure, he had to weather injuries to QB Kyler Murray and TE Brock Bowers (and RB Aaron Jones every other week). But this squad showed heart, just like the Titans. And … oh, my mistake, the Titans didn’t show heart, just a pulse. Still, that’s better than the lifeless corpse of a team they trotted out in 2024.

DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1836.60 pts, 8th place
My pre-season ranking: 1844.34 pts, 9th place
Final ranking: 1687.58 pts, 10th place
NFL equivalent: Cincinnati Bengals

I’m looking over both of these rosters and wondering how things went so long. A real-life team that has QB Joe Burrow, WR Ja’Marr Chase and WR Tee Higgins but couldn’t score points? A fantasy team with WR Amon-Ra St. Brown and QB Drake Maye that finished in the bottom three in scoring? Granted, Mom D’s team had zero reliable running backs, and TE Kyle Pitts was good for exactly three weeks this season (enough to make him a top three fantasy TE!) but this still feels like a letdown. As they say in Cincinnati, there’s always next year … to watch the Buckeyes if you want to see professional Ohio football games.

The Fightin Pickles (Sam)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1979.82 pts, 1st place
My pre-season ranking: 2139.82 pts, 4th place
Final ranking: 1724.01 pts, 9th place
NFL equivalent: Kansas City Chiefs

Don’t look now, but I am four-for-four in doing a better job predicting the final standings than Yahoo’s AI algorithms. Sadly, we both overestimated Sam’s team, just like everyone overestimated the Kansas City empire lasting another year. Sam could have changed his team name to Avenue Q with all the questionables on his roster this season: Alvin Kamara, Breece Hall, Bucky Irving and Rhamondre Stevenson all missed games, and that was just his RB corps. WR Brian Thomas Jr. also forgot to show up for long stretches of the season. At least for Sam, he has a chance to redeem his performance next year. Sadly for the Chiefs, this one missed playoff chance means their dynasty is over forever, with no chance of QB Patrick Mahomes ever playing well again. At least that’s what the sports columnists seem to be saying…

Blue Collar Killers (Jeff)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1889.05 pts, 5th place
My pre-season ranking: 1751.13 pts, 10th place
Final ranking: 1742.46 pts, 8th place
NFL equivalent: Atlanta Falcons

Both Jeff’s team and the Falcons were left for dead halfway through the season, but they both quietly climbed up the standings towards respectability. If the Falcons had won just one more game (maybe against the Dolphins? Or the Jets???) they would have snuck into the playoffs. If Jeff had found one reliable wideout to pair with QB Dak Prescott, RB Jahmyr Gibbs or TE Trey McBride, maybe he could have made a run too. Still, this feels like something to build on. Maybe both teams will get their players to show up every week next year. And maybe, just maybe, they can start taking the easy early wins instead of waiting for the second half of the season to succeed.

Schwarbombs (Jo)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1790.42 pts, 12th place
My pre-season ranking: 2095.47 pts, 5th place
Final ranking: 1877.48 pts, 7th place
NFL equivalent: Indianapolis Colts

I’m six-for-six against the computer, folks. Even for me, this is a great fortune telling performance. Sadly, it’s not as great for Joanna. Schwarbombs had a consistent problem getting the home-run scorers, with uneven QB play from Bo Nix, Daniel Jones and Brock Purdy all year. Jo’s second favorite player ever, RB Kenneth Gainwell, kept her team afloat for long stretches. And she did snag the top WR on the season, Ohio State alum Jaxon Smith-Njigba. But what she really needed to succeed was leadership from her favorite player ever, QB Nick Foles. But St. Nick skipped her locker room this year, so it’s coal all around.

Vert der Ferks (Anthony)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1958.50 pts, 2nd place
My pre-season ranking: 2001.77 pts, 7th place
Final ranking: 1920.77 pts, 6th place
NFL equivalent: Carolina Panthers

Anthony had a top three QB (Josh Allen), two top tier WRs (Puka Nacua and Justin Jefferson), a top five TE (Jake “Turd” Fergeson) and a top three kicker (Brandon Aubrey). What is this team doing down here? Sure, his RB corps was the remains of Jaylen Warren and something called Woody Marks (please note, I have not checked to see if this is a real human). But surely this team had to at least be sniffing the top of the standings, right? No? They just barely made the top six? Better than the Panthers, who are heading to the playoffs despite a losing record. That’s just gross.

Goederts and Monsterts (Bob)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1894.72 pts, 4th place
My pre-season ranking: 2317.00 pts, 1st place
Final ranking: 2074.93 pts, 5th place
NFL equivalent: Buffalo Bills

My first predictions miss — I’ll have to settle for a 7-1 lead against the artificial intelligence for now. This wasn’t a failure by Bob, but it was a bit of a setback. Like the Bills, he was the pick to dominate the league. And like the Bills, he had a good year, just not as good as some had hoped for. RB Christian McCaffery was the Bob Squad MVP (start rooting against him now, professor) while QB Jared Goff and TE Travis Kelce produced solid if not spectacular numbers. WR AJ Brown? Maybe too much drama for this team to reach its full potential. A top five finish is nothing to be ashamed of, but one has to ask why this team can’t live up to its preseason hype year after year.

Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1821.49 pts, 9th place
My pre-season ranking: 2233.44 pts, 3rd place
Final ranking: 2079.62 pts, 4th place
NFL equivalent: 2024 Philadelphia Phillies

Ninth place. Ninth! That’s what Yahoo predicted for this team. Two fantasy stud RBs in Bijan Robinson and Kyren Williams. Two rookie stars in TE Tyler Warren and WR Emeka Egbuka. And they predicted ninth? Granted, QB Lamar Jackson was a mess this season. If I had just grabbed a top 12 QB instead of relying on the one-time Baltimore great, I would have finished with about 100 more points, putting me on the doorstep of another title. But like Kevin Patullo foolishly calling a run up the middle on every first down, I stuck with Jackson for too long and slipped off the medal podium. Fourth place is impressive, but my team has bigger expectations than that each year, so they’ll be staying in the doghouse until next September.

City Hands (Mike)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1806.47 pts, 10th place
My pre-season ranking: 1999.96 pts, 8th place
Final ranking: 2172.68 pts, 3rd place
NFL equivalent: Denver Broncos

Mike missed out on a second-place finish by less than 1.5 pts, but it would have been more if not for WR Zay Flowers’ 118 receiving yds and two TDs in the fourth quarter of the last game of the season. As it was, his squad turned in a solid performance despite all the pre-season questions, most of which turned out to be accurate! QB Jayden Daniels was a bust. The Detroit defense was a mess. WR Garrett Wilson missed most of the season. And yet, through solid coaching, Mike managed to rise up the standings with a RB corps of Travis Etienne, Zach Charbonnet and the remains of Josh Jacobs. He turned QB Caleb Williams into a viable starter. He weathered the death of TE George Kittle (not dead, but also MIA for most of the season). This was a management masterpiece. Quint would be proud.

Still The Best (Jonathan)

Yahoo pre-season ranking:1801.46 pts, 11th place
My pre-season ranking: 2095.45 pts, 6th place
Final ranking: 2173.86 pts, 2nd place
NFL equivalent: New England Patriots

For those of you keeping score at home, I’ve beaten the Yahoo predictions 10 times out of 11 so far, with one team left. And I nailed that too. That’s 11-1 against the computer’s prediction skills this season. Clearly my scientific rigor and dedicated research team is far superior to theirs.

The good news here is that the boy did not win his third Awesome Cup title in a row, which would have made him insufferable. The bad news is he almost did. Despite inconsistent play from QB Jalen Hurts, nothing from rookie RB Ashton Jeanty, and constant questions at TE, Jonathan again put together a better fantasy roster than most of us. His namesake, RB Jonathan Taylor, helped a lot, as did a WR group with Tetairoa McMillan, Stefon Diggs and Terry McLaurin. And he lucked out with the Texans defense. But just like the Patriots, the dynasty had to end sometime. Thankfully we didn’t have a deflategate to worry about here.

That just leaves one team, full of champions:

One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop)

Yahoo pre-season ranking: 1939.36 pts, 3rd place
My pre-season ranking: 2244.32 pts, 2nd place
Final ranking: 2223.14 pts, 1st place
NFL equivalent: 2024 Philadelphia Eagles

I lauded Dad at the start of the year for finally abandoning his pursuit of QBs early in the draft and instead loading up on RBs. How did that work out? He fielded two top-five backs this year (Derrick Henry and De’Von Achane) and got the #1 overall fantasy QB off the waiter wire in week two. That’s not just good coaching, that’s championship general manager work. TE Dallas Goedert also helped his mid-season surge to the top. WR Rashee Rice was solid before both his legs fell off, and the rest of his cast of misfit toys — RB Rico Dowdle, WR DJ Moore — came through when it counted.

Dad was the first coach to win back-to-back titles in league history. Now, a decade later, he’s only the third person to have his name engraved on the Awesome Cup three times.

Congrats to Pop — we'll all be coming to for the trophy again next season. Thanks everyone for following along all season. Only 248 days until the 2026 fantasy season begins, so start doing your research now. 

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 18 recap

Reasons why earning the #2 seed in the NFC would have been the wrong move for the Eagles:

** The #2 seed is scheduled for a second-round home playoff game, if the team wins. This all comes right after the holiday season, when everyone has just hosted family and friends for multiple parties. Adding two more home get-togethers is exhausting. Better to go on the road in week two.

** The NFC’s #2 seed was already scheduled to play the Packers, a team with green, white and yellow uniforms. That could be confusing for the green and white clad Eagles. An easier opponent for Philly is the 49ers, a team with a better record and explosive offense but also mostly red outfits.

** Philly is cold in January. Does the team really want to play multiple games in the northeast’s elements? It’s a safer plan to go on the road in the playoffs to someplace that might have nicer weather, like Chicago.

** Getting the #2 seed would have meant outscoring the Commanders, and putting up more than 24 points in a game is not what these Eagles believe in.

** The Eagles were the #2 seed last year, and they won the Super Bowl. Getting it again this year might set unrealistic expectations of postseason success.

Top QBs of the year
3rd place: Drake Maye, 413.39 pts — 15th QB drafted (Mom D)
2nd place: Josh Allen, 414.62 pts — 2nd QB drafted (Ant)
1st place: Matthew Stafford, 442.88 pts — undrafted

No one took a QB in the first two rounds this year, which is good news, because nearly all of the early QBs disappointed. Allen was the only QB drafted in the top five to finish in the top five, and the best passer by far was still available the day after the draft. Stafford threw for the most yards, had 12 more TD passes than anyone else (46 total), and was not among the 24 QBs picked by our respective teams (Pop grabbed him mid-September). Meanwhile, Lamar Jackson, the first QB off the board (picked by me) finished as the 20th scorer in the category, thanks to a mess of injuries and a series of awful appearances.

Top WRs of the year
3rd place: Amon-Ra St. Brown, 220.80 pts — 5th WR drafted (Mom D)
2nd place: Jaxon Smith-Njigba, 242.13 pts — 14th WR drafted (Jo)
1st place: Puka Nacua, 253.33 pts — 9th WR drafted (Ant)

Puka caught 129 passes from Stafford this year, so it should be no surprise that he takes home the top fantasy wideout title for Rams too. There was a huge gap between the top five and the rest of this crop, with Chris Olave (33rd WR off the board) finishing at six but 74 pts behind first place. Only those top three and Ja’Marr Chase (4th WR in fantasy scoring) were really reliable enough all year to carry teams.

Top RBs of the year
3rd place: Jahmyr Gibbs, 307.87 pts — 3rd RB drafted (Jeff)
2nd place: Jonathan Taylor, 327.20 pts — 7th RB drafted (Jonathan)
1st place: Christian McCaffrey, 336.30 pts — 5th RB drafted (Bob)

This was our best drafting category of the year, but that happens when you take 13 running backs in the first 24 picks. Still, all of these guys went early and delivered on their promise. Bijan Robinson, James Cook, De'Von Achane, Derrick Henry and Kyren Williams rounded out the top eight, and were all gone before the start of the third round. The only big disappointment? Saquon Barkley, the #1 overall pick, finished as the #14 scorer. Not a bust, but nowhere near as fun as 2024.

Top TEs of the year
3rd place: Dallas Goedert, 136.40 pts — 12th TE drafted (Pop)
2nd place: Kyle Pitts, 136.87 pts — 20th TE drafted (Mom D)
1st place: Trey McBride, 211.60 pts — 2nd TE drafted (Jeff)

Hey, an Eagle who had a good offensive year! Goedert didn’t play week 18 and still finished in the top three, thanks to 11 receiving TDs on the season. That’s tied for second among all players — not just tight ends, but wideouts too. McBride just missed out on the season receptions title to Puka, 129 to 126. And Kyle Pitts scored in the single-digit fantasy points every week except for three, when he collected 61 or his 136.87 pts. Fifth place at this position? Some dude named Travis Kelce.

Top Ks of the year
3rd place: Brandon Aubrey, 188.10 pts — 3rd K drafted (Ant)
2nd place: Ka'imi Fairbairn, 194.50 pts — 5th K drafted (Jonathan)
1st place: Jason Myers, 203.00 pts — undrafted

 
Myers scored 171 real-life points this season, breaking the previous record for a kicker set by … David Akers in 2011. But that wasn’t with the Eagles, so it’s OK. Jonathan drafted Fairbairn but ditched him after the bye week in favor of Cam Little, who now owns the longest and second-longest kicks in NFL history, so he at least got the drama he wanted out of the position. And Ant gets his third top performer on this list, which makes you wonder why his team was never near the top of the standings.

Top DEFs of the year
3rd place: Jaguars, 153.00 pts — undrafted
2nd place: Texans, 177.00 pts — 9th DEF drafted (Jonathan)
1st place: Seahawks, 187.00 pts — 12th DEF drafted (Pop)

 
Defenses are always a crapshoot when it comes to fantasy. Seattle had three defensive TDs, three return TD and three blocked kicks, so they get top billing even though they had fewer turnovers than the Texans. I’m looking at all the stats now and still don’t understand how the Jaguars are on there. They were 8th in points allowed and 27th in sacks. They were second in interceptions, but this ranking still feels weird.

Top Ds of the year
3rd place: Marcus Jones, 66.26 pts — 6th D drafted (Pop)
2nd place: Jack Campbell, 66.50 pts — undrafted
1st place: Myles Garrett, 74.00 pts — undrafted

OHMIGAWD! WE DRAFTED A TOP DEFENSIVE PLAYER!

Sure, it wasn’t the top defensive player, and if Yahoo’s draft rankings made any bit of sense some team would have picked up Myles Garrett. But none of that matters. Congrats to Pop for snagging a defensive stalwart in the draft for the first time since … gosh, I really cannot find any record of us drafting one of the top three players before. Give me time, there are a lot of old blog posts to go through.

QB: Mitchell Trubisky, 36.86 pts — on the wire
WR: Zay Flowers, 23.20 pts — started by Mike
RB: Rhamondre Stevenson, 34.57 pts — on Sam’s bench
TE: Colston Loveland, 17.07 pts — started by Jonathan
K: Ka'imi Fairbairn, 26.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Broncos, 24.00 pts — started by me
D: Tyree Wilson, 16.50 pts — on the wire

While it probably warms the hearts of Bears fans to see their old draft bust, Trubisky, leading the Bills backups to a blowout win, the real story here is about what he didn’t do on Sunday: throw an interception. That means the New Jersey Jets are the first team in NFL history to get through an entire season without picking off a single pass, an astounding achievement of incompetence. Seriously, just by luck they should have ended up with one or two.

If Fairbairn could have just kicked two more 50-yard FGs in addition to the six other three-pointers he nailed on Sunday, he could have ended as the league’s top fantasy kicker. That’s gotta hurt.

Good to see Zay Flowers having a solid performance now that my pay leagues are over and he can’t contribute anything to my fantasy football finances.

“Worst performers of the season” edition

5th place: Kyle Allen, -0.30 pts — on the wire
4th place: Gardner Minshew, -0.32 pts — on the wire
3rd place: Mecole Hardman Jr., -0.70 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Jimmy Garoppolo, -1.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Jalen Milroe, -1.60 pts — on the wire

Milroe was the starting QB at Alabama in 2024, so he should be used to losing. He only appeared in three games this season, but did manage four yards rushing and a fumble in that short stint, earning him the lowest score of any player for the season.

But, hey, he’s just an unlucky rookie. The next three guys — Garoppolo, Hardman and Minshew — are all on the wrong side of their careers and the wrong side of zero in the points column. Former Eagles QB Minshew actually had three appearances this season where he scored negative fantasy points before he got into the Chiefs’ week 16 loss and blew out his knee. Hardman was cut by the Chiefs earlier this year, fumbled away a punt for the Bills, and is probably done for his career.

At #9 on the list: former Eagles QB Nick Mullins, at -0.09 pts. Two former Eagles QBs! But not Super Bowl winning QB Kenny Pickett, that guy finished the year with 9.72 fantasy points in four appearances, or 6.04 points behind Tanner McKee, the man who was backing him up last season.


** Following Alabama’s Rose Bowl loss on New Year’s Day, Crimson Tide Coach Kalen DeBoer said he was disappointed in the college football playoff defeat but said that “it's a fine line between being here and being at the top.”

Just to be clear, that loss by Alabama — a team that has won six national championships since 2009 — was a 38-3 shelling at the hands of Indiana, a team that has won two Big Ten titles since 1967. The 35-point “fine line” drubbing was the Crimson Tide’s worst bowl game performance ever.

But it was a close 35-point drubbing. A little fine tuning and I’m sure the team wouldn’t have lost by more than 28.

** Late in the Bengals-Browns contest, Cleveland was driving down the field for a game-winning FG attempt when Cincinnati CB Dax Hill got rolled over during a tackle. As he struggled to stand up, Bengals radio analyst Dave Lapham gave this assessment.

“Hill is still down. You know how guys get in a three-point stance? He’s in a nine-point stance. That’s both legs, and his forearms, and his chest and his head. That’s not good.”

Not sure that’s the best time to be cracking jokes, Dave — especially when it’s your own defensive stud lying injured on the ground.

** During the Texas-Colts game, Indianapolis — already eliminated from postseason contention — faced a fourth and goal from the four-yard line with just 2:30 left in the game. The coaches opted to kick a FG instead of going for the touchdown, and Texans radio analyst Andre Ware immediately justified the move.

“This is the right call,” he told listeners. “It doesn’t matter what your record is. It doesn’t matter if you’re heading to the playoffs or not. This is the right call for this team.”

It was an odd defense by Ware, considering the Colts were losing by two at the time. Was there anyone listening who thought Indianapolis shouldn’t take the lead? If they were heading to the playoffs, should they have risked the three in favor or more style points? Or should they have just laid down and lost for their playoff-bound division rivals?

The Colts ended up losing by eight, so I guess the right call was to try for an 11-point play there.

The final week of the NFL season saw a host of laudable milestones that in reality meant nothing at all. Consider:

** Browns DE Myles Garrett set the single-season sack record on Sunday by recording his 23rd QB tackle of the year. It’s a remarkable, difference making feat. Just think of how much worse the 5-12 Browns would be without all of those great defensive plays. 4-13? Thank goodness Garrett can elevate that squad to greatness.

** Bears QB Caleb Williams finished with 3,942 passing yards this season, breaking the Chicago single-season record of 3,838 set in 1995. It’s a great moment for the player and a sad moment for the franchise, as it remains the only one in the NFL never to have a QB top 4,000 yards.

** Vikings WR Justin Jefferson posted his sixth 1,000 season on Sunday, making him only the third player in NFL history to accomplish that feat. It’s also historic because the other two — Randy Moss and Mike Evans — managed to reach the mark and also win a playoff game. But not Jefferson, the greatest wideout in league history not to win any games of consequence.

** The Cowboys potent offense this season boasted a 4,000+ yard passer, a 1,000+ yard rusher and two 1,000+ yard receivers. It’s the second time in team history that they’ve achieved the feat, matching 2023. But it’s the first time they’ve done it without making the playoffs, a truly impressive display of pointlessness.


Given the chance to finish their season at 8-8-1, the Cowboys opted to bench most of their starters in their season finale to keep them fresh for the offseason. As a result, they lost to the lowly Giants and finished with a losing record for the first time since 2024.

Some misguided fans will be upset with how the football year ended for the once mighty Dallas franchise (mighty, like, 30 years ago), but they should take comfort in this anagram epitaph for the season:

Dallas Cowboys team craters, drops out of the playoffs again
** God hears prayers of all. So, tactics off, bad men lost. Pout away.

The last time the Cowboys posted a losing record three years in a row was 2000-2003, as the Eagles ascended from a good team to a juggernaut with four straight NFC East titles. We can only hope those days are returning again.

** I closed out the season going 9-4 in picks against Dad, taking the title of the family’s top prognosticator for a sixth season in a row. For the season I went 182-90, a 67 percent accuracy mark, down a bit from last season. But it’s still better than all 11 of the professional football “experts” that ESPN pays, so you’re getting better returns on your money if you ignore them and stick with me. 

Now onto playoff picks against Dad, where I think I’ve been crushed for about 10 years straight.

** I had a whole bit planned on the NFC South having three 8-9 teams tied for first place but I couldn’t type it out without getting physically ill.

** I mean, at least we don’t have to hear calls for Jalen Hurts to be benched in favor of Tanner McKee anymore.


Week 18 standings

The final Awesome Cup standings will be released Tuesday.

Fantasy football 2025 -- Family Cup final standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

Family Cup -- regular season points standings
House Shane: 4,997.24 pts
House Doyle: 4,876.34 pts
House Garrity: 4,477.92 pts
House Quinn: 4,239.26 pts

Family Cup — playoff bracket results
1 — Chief Little Owl: Jim
2 — Shamrock Meats Inc.: Mike
3 — I love axolotls!: Lexi
4 — Nacho Team: Shelly
5 — @liver: Ollie
6 — Big Brain Jonathan: Jonathan

Jim’s romp through the season culminated this week with a victory lap over Mike’s team, which posted its second-worst score of the season when the points mattered the most. Conversely, Jim’s squad — led by QB Matt Stafford and WR Puka Nacua — was only the fifth-highest scoring squad of the regular season but turned on the magic when it counted, averaging 145-plus fantasy points in the three-week postseason.

Family Cup — loser bracket results
7 — Crazy Grandmom Malice: Grandmom Shane
8 — Emma’s Unicorn Blobfish Empire: Emma
9 — 2025 Yards in 2025: Pop Shane
10 — Jimmy’s Chicken Shaq: Jimmy
11 — Warminster Nightmare: Shane
12 — Team Team: Tommy

Emma’s run at partial glory came to a halt in the seventh place game, where she lost a close contest to her grandmother. Still, winning three of the last four games of the year was an impressive turnaround for a team that was 1-11-1 after 13 weeks. Grandmom claims the title of queen of the also-rans, and the pride of knowing that she elevated Team Quinn to the best of her ability.

Season analysis

Of course, this league was never about individual glory. This was about establishing the supremacy of one family over the rest. With that in mind, we need to look at how to fairly evaluate the full resume of each lineage.

The regular season seems clear enough: Each win is worth 100 points. Ties are worth 50. And all regular season points are totaled for each team.

The playoffs are another matter. Winning the title has to mean something, so that will be worth nearly a season’s worth of games: 1200 points. Second gets 800, third 600. Fourth gets 400, fifth 300, sixth 200. The consolation bracket is for pride and practice, but earns no points.

Team pride has to count for something. Therefore, the top team name earns 75 points, second place 50, and third 25. And it’s pretty clear that Emma’s Unicorn Blobfish Empire runs away with the top award here. The moniker speaks to the team ownership, its philosophy, its mascot and its focus. Warminster Nightmare follows a similar thread, and earns the second place spot. Mike’s tribute to Rocky — Shamrock Meats Inc. — deserves third.

And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. That’s why we’re awarding 10 points to Grandmom Shane for being confident enough to go 5-0 against her grandchildren this season, not caring at all how those defeats may upset or discourage them. Some grandparents may have spoiled their grandchildren by allowing a win or two to slip away, but not her.

With that in mind, here are the final family standings:

Family Cup — final season standings

4th place: House Quinn, 5899.26 total points
(Grandmom Shane, Tommy, Shane)

3rd place: House Shane, 6772.24 total points
(Jonathan, Emma, Pop Shane)

2nd place: House Garrity, 8377.92 total points
(Jim, Shelly, Jimmy)

1st place: House Doyle, 9601.34 total points
(Mike, Lexi, Ollie)

Jim’s heroic championship run wasn’t enough to wrest the title away from Team Doyle, who placed all three of their squads in the top five of the standings. It was an impressive display of coaching strategy and ruthlessness. And in the end, they are the first group to be honored with their name etched into the Family Cup:

Thanks again to all league members for playing this year. We’ll roll it back next season, when Team Shane will be looking to avenge the injustice of having the most regular season points and the fewest wins.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 17 recap

It’s time to once again test the depth of your NFL knowledge and fandom. 

Anyone can name the big stars in their favorite sport. But can you say which of these players made the 2026 football Pro Bowl team, and which of these names are professional bowlers on the national professional bowling tour?

Quinn Meinerz    Pro Bowler     Professional bowler

EJ Tackett            Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Chris Via              Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Chimere Dike       Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Jakob Butturff     Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Creed Humphrey Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Graham Fach       Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

Ross Matiscik       Pro Bowler    Professional bowler

As always, the quiz doesn’t actually work. So below are the answers:

.

.

.

.

.

Ross Matiscik is the long snapper for the Jags, Chimere Dike is a kick return specialist for the Titans. Quinn Meinerz is an offensive lineman for the Broncos, and Creed Humphrey is the center for the Chiefs.

All the other names are top 10 money earners on the PBA tour —yes, even Jakob Butturff. You know that’s a real name, because if I was going to make him up, his name would be “Buttruff” and I would have made a joke about him getting knocked down over and over.

QB: Brock Purdy, 42.92 pts — started by Jo
WR: Ja’Marr Chase, 19.50 pts — started by Joel
RB: Derrick Henry, 45.60 pts — started by Pop
TE: Trey McBride, 16.07 pts — started by Jeff
K: Joey Slye, 18.50 pts — on the wire
DEF: Vikings, 22.00 pts — on the wire
D: Chase Young, 14.50 pts — on the wire

Big week for running backs — Bijan Robinson had 36.27 pts on Monday night and doesn’t get mentioned here, because Henry rushed for 216 yards and FOUR TDs on Saturday night. Sadly for Henry, that leaves him just outside the top 10 in RB fantasy performances all-time, because he did not catch any passes. The best? Broncos RB Clinton Portis back in 2003, who had 55.2 pts on 218 yards rushing, 36 yds receiving and five TDs in a 45-27 win over the Chiefs. Saturday’s Denver win over the Chiefs this weekend was … less exciting.

Second week in a row that Brock Purdy claims the top QB spot. In the last four weeks, Purdy has thrown 11 TD passes and scored 116.02 pts. That’s the second best in the league, just behind Trevor Lawrence. Of course, Lawrence did play four games over those four weeks. Purdy only played three — his bye was week 14.

Sad week for wideouts — no one over 20 pts? Not even Jahan Dotson?

“Poor QBs” edition

3rd place: Max Brosmer, 3.64 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Clayton Tune, -1.68 pts — on the wire
1st place: Riley Leonard, -2.00 pts — on the wire

Leonard threw one pass in Sunday’s Colts’ loss to the Jaguars: A last-second hail mary that got picked off in the end zone. But it was an impressive enough throw that the Colts are now planning to start him in the meaningless finale next week. Poor Phillip Rivers, I really thought that guy needed at least one more game to prove what he can do in this league.

Clayton Tune might be starting next week too: He had a pick immediately after entering the game in relief of Packers backup QB Malik Willis, who was in the game because Packers starter QB Jordan Love was out with a concussion. With nothing to play for, Green Bay may decide to give Tune a chance to throw even more interceptions.

Brosmer was actually the 32nd best scoring QB on the week, completing a pathetic nine passes for 51 yards and no TDs for the Vikings on Sunday. He also got sacked seven times for 48 yards, meaning the Vikings had a net passing total of 3 yards for their game. Oh, and they won. I guess turning over Lions QB Jared Goff five times in a game will help with that.


** Headline in the Athletic: Raiders’ Brock Bowers placed on IR ahead of pivotal game against the Giants.

That pivotal game? The loser of the contest would have the inside track for the #1 overall pick in the draft next spring. I’m not sure pivotal is the word you were looking for. Pathetic? Pitiful? It was probably supposed to be pitiful. Easy copy editing error.

** Following the Eagles win — win? Are we still calling that performance a win? — on Sunday, Fox NFL studio analyst Michael Strahan was asked for his reaction to the final failed two-point attempt in the game.

“Well, if you’re Buffalo, you’ve got to be frustrated by that,” he said. “This is a talented team.”

Thank gawd for that insight. I watched the Bills slog through three hours of football, tie the game in the final seconds and then botch a chance to win, and my takeaway was “I wonder if the team is happy with that outcome.” Strahan’s inside knowledge of the game helped me learn that, in fact, they were not.

I just wish he could have covered more games. Was Bears WR Luther Burden happy when he went down with an injury? Did the Steelers sideline appreciate the missed pass interference call at the end of the game? I need someone to tell me, because it’s just too hard to figure out on my own.

** Former New Jersey QB Eli Manning was again named as a Hall of Fame finalist this week. Just as a reminder, this is a career .500 QB who never led the league in any category during his playing time except for interceptions, which he did three separate times over 16 years. 

But, hey, he threw a ball that another guy had to catch with his helmet, so he probably deserves to be in there.

The Eagles offense has been in tatters for weeks, but everyone is looking at the problem from the wrong angle. The problem isn’t the offensive line, or the play calling, or Jalen Hurt’s inexplicable decision to take entire quarters off.

Consider this — the offense has really been struggling since the bye week in early November. Since then, the team has only scored more than 20 points in a game three times. And yet, they have gone 5-3 in those games, because the defense has been incredible.

In fact, incredible may not be the right word. The defense has not allowed more than 24 points in any game since the bye. They’ve held opponents to fewer than 16 points four times in eight games. They shut down the offenses of the Bills and Lions, two of the best offensive teams in the league. They are destroying other teams’ gameplans and smothering any rhythm the opponents are trying to establish.

It has been incredible to watch their work. Scary, even. A few of those hits on Sunday looked like they were trying to kill Bills’ players.

And when they aren’t on the field, where do those defensive players go? They stand on the sideline, waiting, right next to the Eagles offense.

I think Hurts and company are afraid of the defense.

Think about it — while offensive players are rotating in and out, the defensive line is all standing together on the sideline, drooling at the chance to destroy a running back or wideout. They’re pacing like caged animals. They’re twitching. And the Eagles offensive is walking back and forth by them, quivering in their presence.

Could they avoid the defensive monsters by staying on the field longer? Maybe, but the whole defense is over there at the same time. If the defense is on the field, the bulk of that unit is away from the sideline, out of arm’s reach of a weak, little offensive player.

Do you honestly think that Jordan Davis doesn’t think about devouring Jahan Dotson every time he walks by on the sidelines? Davis hasn’t eaten in months. That guy would love a third-string snack. It’s one thing if he’s all alone by the bench, looking at a wideout to chew on. But if the whole defensive line is there? And they’re all hungry?

So the answer to fixing the offense, obviously, doesn’t have anything to do with the offense. It’s getting Vic Fangio to calm down the defense enough that Saquon stops looking over his shoulder while he’s supposed to be resting.

It’s either that or calling real offensive plays. But I think the defensive fix is more realistic than expecting Kevin Patullo to learn football in the next two weeks.

Week 17 is always the time when I go through my pile of unused anagrams to see whether I left any points on the field this season. Much like the Cowboys’ season itself, it’s a mixed bag. Consider:

Dallas CB Trikweze Bridges
** Ribs bled. Legs a wreck. A ditz.

This was a solid B-minus anagram. Nothing wrong with it, but it felt like I could do something more with it. “Trikweze” has a lot of potential but the double Bs in the phrase just caused issues. And no H? That takes “wheezy” off the board. Disappointing.

Dallas Right Guard Tyler Booker
** Thug err darkly: A big loser, a dolt

Cowboys Right Guard Tyler Booker
** A rowdy butcher, big loser. Go try, OK?

I think I just got caught between these two options for the same guy. Again, passing grades for both, but neither really speaks to the evil within the Dallas squad.

Cowboys new running back Malik Davis
** Vibe: Bad as a wormy clown kicking nuns

This is perfect! It has everything: a sense of evil, abuse of religious personnel, a word that uses two Ks. 

But it’s also a repeat: Davis was on the team in 2022-23, then left football for a year, then came back this year. Is he technically “new” again? Maybe. But I already had five anagrams for this guy. So I couldn’t use it. Forget that you ever saw it.  

We don’t do mediocre repeats around here. If we did, we’d be no better than the 7-8-1 Cowboys.

** Dad and I split our picks this week, going 3-3 in our head-to-head matchup. That leaves him down a touchdown and two-point conversion with one week left. Or, put another way, if I can go 9-7 in my picks next week, he can’t win. That’s a lot of pressure on me.

** Eagles backup Tanner McKee had as many completed passes in the second half of the Bills game as Jalen Hurts did. Just saying.

** ESPN named Eagles backup Center Drew Kendall as their second-team pick for the top rookie players of the year. First place was Jacksonville backup center Jonah Monheim, who has played 187 snaps this season. Kendall has played 25. They both beat out Seahawks rookie Bryce Cabeldue, who has played six snaps. And … that’s the whole rookie class at center.

I dunno, guys. Maybe we didn’t need a breakdown on this position this year.


Week 17 standings

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 2,131.01 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 2,074.84 pts
3 — City Hands (Mike), 2,051.01 pts
4 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,993.78 pts
5 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,963.88 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,818.68 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,799.39 pts
8 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,686.86 pts
9 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,643.58 pts
10 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,618.94 pts
11 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,556.23 pts
12 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,482.22 pts

We’re down to the last week, and Pop is already eyeing his third championship title. He enters the final slate of games with a 57-point lead over second place (Jonathan) and a six-week stretch of scoring at least 115 fantasy points. If that holds, Jonathan will need at least 173 pts from his squad next weekend to challenge for his third consecutive trophy.

Mike will need even more — his team took a big step back this week, scoring under 90 pts after hitting the 115-pts mark the previous six weeks in a row. If I can pull off a 200-plus-pts week, I still might have a shot. After that, we’d need some significant stat corrections for any hope at a league victory.

But pride is still at stake too. Can Bob overtake me for fourth place? Will Jo or Ant end up in the top half of the standings? Can Jeff and Joel continue their late-season push? Will Paul ever start a QB again? All valid questions, and all will be answered this week.

The NFL has zero games on Thursday, zero on Friday, two on Saturday and allllll the rest on Sunday. It’s backups galore for the last days of regular season action, so check those rosters and finish strong.

Family Cup -- final standings
The final results of the first annual Family Cup will be announced on Wednesday.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 16 recap

Forgot to grab all your presents for tomorrow? Don't worry, the Eagles Pro Shop has you covered: 

 

“Been there, won that” shirt — $45
** You’d think with 21 years to plan, the team would come up with a better slogan for winning back-to-back NFC East titles. But next year you won’t be able to snag these again, because everything is going to reference three titles in a row, so you might as well grab it.

Jalen Hurts “gamechanger” figure — $30
** Last time I checked, Hurt’s hands were not the size of his entire head, and he did need to bend over to tie his shoes. But if you ever wanted a collectible of the Eagles QB morphed into a half gorilla, it’s available for a reasonable price.

Terrell Owens jersey — $130
** Is all the AJ Brown drama too much for you? Do you wish we could go back to the days of having a star receiver who complains a lot but also doesn’t win Super Bowls? T.O. is ready to return you to the glory days of frustration and unrealized talent.

RB A.J. Dillon — $130,000
** Dillon signed a nearly $1.2 million contract with the Eagles in the offseason but hasn’t been used at all in the last month. So I’m sure the team would be happy to hand him over to you for housework or show shoveling for the last two weeks of the season, if you’ll just cover his remaining base salary.

Eagles peach hat — $22.50
** This is a hat with an Eagles logo covered in peaches. Maybe it was created because there are a lot of Georgia players on the team, and Georgia has peaches, and … ? Anyways, if you’ve ever thought that your support for the team should be joined with your support for fruit, this is your moment.

Game-used Saquon Barkley pants — $1,487.50
** Want to relive the excitement — and smell — of Barkley running for 43 yards and a TD against the Bucs in September? Wait, you do? What’s wrong with you, man? Go buy a book or something.

QB: Brock Purdy, 40.90 pts — started by Jo
WR: Puka Nacua, 33.00 pts — started by Ant
RB: Chase Brown, 29.47 pts — started by Jeff
TE: George Kittle, 17.17 pts — started by Mike
K: Charlie Smyth, 20.00 pts — on the wire
DEF: Saints, 22.00 pts — on the wire
D: Kyle Dugger, 11.00 pts — on the wire

I did not have two Saints players as top performers on my bingo card for the week. New Orleans had its best defensive performance of the year in a 29-6 win over the Jets. And Smyth, in just his fourth game in the NFL, tied a team record with five field goals in that victory.

Smyth was a goalkeeper in Ireland’s Gaelic football league, and joined the NFL through its International Player Pathway Program. Gaelic football is just a little different from American football — The actual score of one semi-final match this week for the Irish league was “Tooreen 1-28 Éire Óg, Carrickmore 1-17.” No, I don’t have the slightest idea what that means. Good on Tooreen, I guess?

Puka Nacua had 12 catches for 225 yds and two TDs this week, the first time this season a wideout has topped the 200-yds mark. It happened twice last year and six times in 2023. You don’t remember that much receiving two years ago because that was the year the Eagles forgot how to pass for the second half of the season. Thank gawd those problems are over.

“Dallas” edition

3rd place: Joe Milton III, -0.86 pts — on the wire
2nd place: (tie) Dallas, -3.00 pts — on Joel’s bench
2nd place: (tie) Indianapolis, -3.00 pts — on the wire
1st place: Miami, -4.00 pts — on the wire

Hey, our anagram subject from last week is back! Dallas Backup QB Joe Milton III (or, as you know him, “Skilled? Baa. I complain, quit job”) was not skilled and quit his job in the form of fumbling the ball during mop-up duty in Sunday’s loss to the Chargers.

But don’t just blame him. Over the last five games, the Dallas defense has scored a total of -2.00 pts. They have six weeks where they registered negative fantasy points, and are averaging 30.3 actual points allowed per game. That's the second worst in the league. If only they had a stud defensive player to help them stabilize that side of the ball, but where would they even find someone like that?


** During Thursday’s Rams/Seahawks contest, LA was leading by 16 points with less than nine minutes left in the game when WR Rashid Shaheed weaved through the Rams’ special teams unit to score on a 58-yard punt return. Amazon announcer Al Michaels had the call:

“Shaheed takes the punt … works through traffic, he’s heading down the sidelines and out of NOWHERE he is in for the touchdown. And we’ve got a game.”

Right enthusiasm, wrong words. Out of nowhere? He was the punt returner. We kind of all expected him to get the ball, and keep running with it. Or maybe he meant out of nowhere because up until then Seattle had only scored … two touchdowns? They weren’t getting shut out. It wasn’t a giant surprise that they’d score again.

The Seahawks got a two-point conversion on the next play, scoring on an out-of-nowhere forward pass to their #2 wideout. It truly is an unpredictable game.

** Sirius XM’s NFL Blitz show has been running promos this weekend with co-host Bruce Murray previewing the postseason and exclaiming “Are we really looking at a playoffs without Mahomes, or Lamar, or Goff, or even Dak?”

Sure, Mahomes is a surprise. And the Lions and Ravens missing out on the championship bracket is shocking. But Prescott not showing up in the playoffs is kind of his calling card. Not sure you can be appalled that a guy who has two January wins in the last 10 years is once again not going to get any January wins.

Now Jalen Hurts missing the playoffs? That would be a stunner. Five years in the league, and he’ll have 10 playoff starts by the end of week 19. Hopefully a few more after that in 2026 too.

 
** Commander’s coach Dan Quinn’s reaction to the completely unneeded two-point attempt by the Eagles in the fourth quarter of an already settled game: “If that’s how they want to get down, all good. We play them again in two weeks.”

 
Oh boy. I bet the Commanders are really gonna lay the smackdown on … Tanner McKee and the other backups who play in that meaningless game. Message sent.

The NFL’s Christmas present to you is a full slate of three games this Thursday, with plenty of intrigue and drama in store to spice up your holiday. Here’s a look at the most festive storylines to track in between opening presents and enjoying your Christmas cookies:

** Is Chris Oladokun the next big QB star?
It’s the matchup that everyone has been waiting for: Broncos second-year QB Bo Nix vs. Chiefs rookie QB Chris Oladokun. Sure, maybe QB Patrick Mahomes is better known right now, but Oladokun also has a weird last name and the Kansas City offense to carry. So could we be meeting the next Mahomes on Thursday? Sure doesn’t seem like it, but who knows!

** How many points can the Cowboys and Commanders surrender?
Unlike Dallas, the Commanders are only giving up 27 points per game. Could these two teams both score 50 against each other’s lifeless defenses? Or will the motivation of a late-season division game with no playoff stakes on the line inspire them to make just a single stop?

** Who will watch the Lions/Vikings game?
Both of these teams made the postseason last year, but only the Lions have a shot at repeating that feat this season. Except they really don’t! They’re only path involves 20 teams losing and a voodoo curse reversing time. So who will tune in for this afternoon matchup? Will it even provide enough distraction from family members to count as entertainment?

** Can the Spurs beat the Thunder? 

 The Thunder have only lost three of their first 28 games, but one of those failures came at the hands of the upstart Spurs, the second-place team in the Western conference. Why would NFL fans care at all? I dunno, but it’s better than any of the holiday crapfest being broadcast on Tubi Sports or wherever they’ve got these stupid football games this year. The NBA will be on ABC, where you can actually watch it.

The Eagles victory on Saturday officially ended any hope of a Cowboys postseason this year, a crushing development for the franchise. During a press conference a day later, team owner and GM Jerry Jones said simply that “we all underachieved, really” but expressed confidence that the team will come back stronger next year.

Of course, there is no reason for such optimism. In the last 30 years, the Cowboys are the only NFC team not to reach the conference title game, and have only made the playoffs 13 times. But if you look closer at what Jerry said and really break down the letters, you can see that they actually spell out the true message he was delivering:

Jones statement: We all underachieved
** A moan, jest. Cattle dude heels never win

Typical Jerry, using all those extra words — cattle dude heels — just to say cowboys. I’m gonna miss him when he finally leaves the NFL scene. It has been so relaxing to have an idiot running the Cowboys for the last few decades.

** Dad picks up another game on me this week, going 3-2 in our head-to-head picks. He’s only eight back, with two weeks to go. But he does get extra props for picking the Chiefs to spiral out of control and lose to the Titans. That was … something.

** Delaware bested Louisiana in the 68 Ventures Bowl last week in a 20-13 thriller. That gives them a perfect record in the College Football premier postseason (1-0 all time). Take that, Villanova.

** The Eagles can get the #1 overall seed if they win their last two, the Rams lose to Atlanta but beat the Cardinals, the Bears beat the 49ers but lose to the Lions, the 49ers lose to the Bears but beat the Seahawks, and the Seahawks lose to the Panthers and 49ers. Then there is a five-way tie for the top seed in the NFC at 12-5, and the Eagles … might win the tiebreaker? It isn’t clear, it depends on strength of schedule and how a dozen other games play out. Oh also Dr. Strange has to give up the mind stone to Thanos so that Iron Man can steal it back later. That’s the only path to victory.

Week 16 standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

Our championship game is set: Mike, the #2 seed, will take on Jim, the #5 seed. Jim annihilated out top regular season finisher, Lexi, with a 176.88-104.36 performance last week. Can he continue his Cinderella run to the title? Or will Mike grab the cup for Team Doyle? One week left for a new hero to rise. 

In the bottom bracket, Emma’s team has managed three straight wins after only recording one win in the first 13 weeks of the season. She’ll take on Grandmom Shane for the loser bracket title. Shelly and Lexi will square off in the 3rd place game, Dad and Jimmy will fight for the 9th place honor. Ollie (5th), Jonathan (6th), Shane (11th) and Tommy (12th) are finished for the year.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1996.25 pts
2 — City Hands (Mike), 1963.57 pts
3 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1956.34 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1891.31 pts
5 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1871.44 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1705.01 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1673.93 pts
8 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1571.88 pts
9 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1544.02 pts
10 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1526.43 pts
11 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1432.60 pts
12 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1417.45 pts

Another big week from Mike closes the gap between him and first to just 33 pts. Both he and Jonathan topped 130 pts this week, keeping the pressure on Pop with just two weeks left. Bob and I remain locked in a fight for the first team off the medals podium. I had the worst score of the week with 92.50 pts, which, honestly, is pretty good for the worst score of the week.

Jeff, Joanna and Joel all had big performances, besting 120 pts, but they remain mired in the bottom of the bracket. But Joel’s performance was enough to keep him out of the cellar for another week. Paul hasn’t started a QB since Mac Jones in week 11 (and he scored -0.30 pts that week) so perhaps that isn’t a huge bar to clear.

OK, I just checked, and the last time Paul started a QB who scored positive points was week 8, when Spencer Rattler got him 2.64 pts. That means that since the start of November, he has negative fantasy points from the QB position, the spot where the most points are scored each week. Honestly, it’s amazing he even has 1,400 pts.

Speaking of amazing things, the NFL schedule coming up is an amazing mess. Three games on Christmas, two on Saturday, only two late Sunday afternoon, one on Monday. Set your rosters on Christmas Eve and hope that Santa Goodell doesn’t bring you any more coal.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 15 recap

Good omens from the Eagles big win on Sunday: 

** The Eagles beat the Raiders 31-0 on Sunday. The last time they were up 31 points on any opponent? That would be in the third quarter of the Super Bowl, when they were up 34-0 over the Chiefs, just a short while before they hoisted the championship trophy.

** DE Brandon Graham had two sacks on Sunday. The last time he got to the QB? That would be in the win over the Rams last season, just before the Eagles went on a playoff run that ended in winning the Super Bowl.

** QB Kenny Pickett was the starter for the Raiders on Sunday. The last time he was on the same field as the Eagles? That would be in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, when the team was up by so much that he got a chance to go in with the scrubs.

** The Eagles won a game on Sunday. The last time they won a game? That was in November, when they beat the Lions, who were the team that got bounced by the Commanders in the 2024 playoffs, a week before the Eagles destroyed the Commanders in the NFC championship game en route to a Super Bowl win.

** The offense and defense for the Eagles both played spectacular on Sunday. The last time both sides of the ball looked competent at the same time? That was the 40-22 dominant victory by the birds over the Chiefs in February, which was when the Eagles won their last Super Bowl title.

QB: Trevor Lawrence, 54.30 pts — on the wire
WR: Amon-Ra St. Brown, 29.43 pts — started by Mom D
RB: James Cook III, 29.97 pts — started by Paul
TE: Kyle Pitts Sr., 34.57 pts — on Mom D’s bench
K: Jason Myers, 24.00 pts — started by Pop
DEF: Baltimore, 28.00 pts — started by Jeff
D: Jeffery Simmons, 12.57 pts — on the wire

Huge day for Lawrence, who is perennially hyped as one of the next great QBs and never seems to deliver. He has been solid all season but never topped 30 fantasy pts in any game until Sunday, when he threw five TDs and rushed in another one in a 48-20 dismantling of the Jets. Sadly for Lawrence, that total doesn’t even break the top five in fantasy points among QBs in the last 15 years. I’ve got this recap from last year with that list. https://captawesome.blogspot.com/2024/12/fantasy-football-2024-week-14-recap.html

Speaking of chronically disappointing, Pitts — the pride of Archbishop Wood High School — had a total of 31.13 fantasy points in his previous six games leading up to Thursday night’s matchup against the Bucs. He caught three TD passes in that game (he had one coming into this week) and notched 11 catches for 166 yds. Falcons officials hinted they may use the franchise tag on him in the offseason, because having one great game every two or three years is really all you need to survive in this league.

Myers kicked six field goals in Seattle’s win over the Colts. Good for him, but it was an 18-16 win, and if all you do in a game is kick field goals, you should be limited to a tie at best.

“Former Eagles QBs” edition

3rd place: Kenny Pickett, 1.26 pts — on the wire
2nd place: Nick Mullins, -0.20 pts — on the wire
1st place: Gardner Minshew, -1.12 pts — on the wire

It’s worth noting that all of these guys scored worse points than current Eagles backup QB Tanner McKee, who appeared in one series this week and collected 2.22 fantasy points.

Pickett was everything you hope for when you trade away a QB: inaccurate and uninspired. He totaled just 64 yds passing and threw one interception, showing why he was deemed expendable not just by the Eagles, but also by the Browns (who traded him to Las Vegas after sending the Eagles a draft pick for him).

And yet, Minshew was worse. He came into the Chiefs game for an injured Patrick Mahomes, then quickly threw a pick and ended Kansas City’s season. On the year, Minshew has appeared in three games and scored negative points in each one. Maybe that’ll change next week.

And Muillins? He counts. He was on the Eagles practice squad for part of 2021 before heading to Cleveland. He is also the grandson of Ernie Tabor, who pitched in the Philadelphia Phillies minor league system in the 1950s. So he has tons of Phill cred. No fantasy points, but tons of cred.


** On Saturday, the Athletic’s Alex Kirshner wrote that “this is one of the closest Heisman races ever” even while he acknowledged that the betting odds were heavily in favor of Indiana’s Fernando Mendoza (a $1200 risk would win you $1300). “The betting odds don’t tell the story of how close this race could be.”

And when the full vote came out, he was right — it wasn’t even THAT close. Mendoza had 643 first place votes. The next nine runners up had 273 first-place votes combined.

If only about 250 voters had seen the whole season differently, it would have been a real nailbiter.

** Following the Chiefs’ loss Sunday, which officially eliminated Kansas City from post-season contention this year, NFL.com’s Grant Gordon wrote that “it is the close of a truly special chapter in NFL chronicle, one in which the Chiefs and Mahomes became the defining team and player of the league.”

Just go ahead and read that first part of the sentence again, because I don’t think I wrote that the Chiefs were eliminated from the post-season forever, just this year.

Remember 2008? That’s the year after the Patriots lost the Super Bowl to the Giants, nixing their bid at an undefeated season. They had appeared in playoffs five straight years and won three of the prior seven Super Bowls, but in 2008 they missed the playoffs after QB Tom Brady got hurt.

It was the close of a truly special chapter in NFL history, as the once dominant New England franchise would never again rise to the same level of … just kidding, they made the playoffs the next 11 years after 2008 and won three more Super Bowls.

Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes turned 30 this year. Maybe, just maybe, missing the playoffs once in his career doesn’t mean it’s time for retirement.

** Daily Mail headline on Monday: “NFL fans brutally mock Joe Biden as he makes huge Philadelphia Eagles gaffe”

His alleged mistake was attending the Eagles game on Sunday wearing a 2023 Super Bowl cap with the Eagles logo on front. The British tabloid noted that “Philadelphia actually lost that Super Bowl to the Kansas City Chiefs.”

And … that’s it?

Look, I’ll acknowledge that the former president should have enough cash to spring for newer gear. But I just attended an Eagles game wearing a Brian Westbrook jersey and a scarf from the mid 2010s. Is that not allowed anymore? Only championship branded gear? No 2004 division title shirts or Brian Dawkins memorabilia because they didn’t get a title?

I know this is more about the politics than the hat, but it’s not like the guy showed up in a “I like football” or “I hope everyone has a good time” shirt. It was an older Eagles hat. Simmer down, Brits.

College football’s silly season is back, with 47 bowl games (36 non-playoff matchups) on the schedule for the next few weeks. Sadly, not all of them are the high-quality programming promised by their names. Here’s a look at a few of the worst offenders:

** The Cricket Celebration Bowl
This game was played Saturday and featured zero celebration of the mysteries of crickets, which boast more than 900 species worldwide.

** The Xbox Bowl
This game will be played on a field in Frisco, Texas — and not on a giant stadium screen using an Xbox and a copy of NCAA football 2025, which would make so much more sense.

** The Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl
The famous rapper and sponsor of the event is expected to attend the game, but he won’t be playing. Should he have to sub in for one of the QBs?

** The Trust & Will Holiday Bowl
It only makes sense to build an entire game around estate planning if you announce beforehand that the losers of the game will be executed.

** Bush's Boca Raton Bowl of Beans
The game will be played at Florida Atlantic University’s Flagler Credit Union Stadium, and not, as suggested, in a giant bowl of beans.

In recent years, the Cowboys’ season has been derailed by injuries to starter Dak Prescott. The team hoped to fix that problem this season with a more reliable backup. They settled on former Michigan Wolverine and New England Patriot Joe Milton. He provides the perfect blend of talent and work ethic that the team is known for. Don’t believe me? Just look at what the letters in his name spell out:

Dallas Backup QB Joe Milton III
** Skilled? Baa. I complain, quit job.

Quitting the job early is what the Cowboys are known for. Heck, they haven’t worked past early January in years…

** I went 1-2 against Dad this week, so he gets one in our picks showdown. For the year, he remains nine back. With three weeks left, his path to victory is slim. It’s not as bad as the Cowboys path to the playoffs, but still slim.

** The Christmas day games for the NFL will be the Chiefs playing the Broncos without Patrick Mahomes, the Commanders playing the Cowboys without Jayden Daniels and the Lions playing the Vikings possibly without a chance of either team making the playoffs. Solid work there, guys.

** Saquon Barkley had 78 yds rushing, 14 yds receiving and 1 TD on Sunday. The Raiders as a team had 75 yards net offense and no points on Sunday. So it’s not extreme to say that Barkley alone beat Las Vegas.


Week 15 standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

Ollie and Jonathan had their title hopes dashed this week in very different fashions. Jonathan’s team had its worst performance of the year, allowing Shelly’s low-scoring squad to escape with a 78.22-67.30 win. Meanwhile, Ollie’s team scored 144.50 points but lost by two to Jim’s squad. I haven’t seen a team score that much and lose since … five times this season with Emma’s team.

Speaking of Emma’s team, despite a terrible regular season, the Unicorn Blobfish Empire will not finish in last place, thanks to a consolation bracket victory this week. Jimmy also won, leaving the Quinn boys to battle for the 11th place finisher prize.

Only four teams left for the championship: Jim, Shelly, Mike and Lexi. We’ll get that number down to two this week.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,873.21 pts
2 — City Hands (Mike), 1,824.70 pts
3 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,823.90 pts
4 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,786.93 pts
5 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,778.94 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,594.14 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,548.15 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,447.08 pts
9 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,442.31 pts
10 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,418.74 pts
11 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,310.50 pts
12 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,310.05 pts

Lots of shakeup this week, starting near the top. Mike’s team topped 156 pts this week and jumped from fourth to second. As the weather gets colder, his team heats up. Jonathan falls to third and is in real danger of not winning the league for a third year in a row, which I know will upset everyone.

Jeff’s team is quietly sneaking up the charts too — he was the second-highest scorer on the week (128.72) and overtook Mom D’s struggling squad in the standings. And Joel has climbed out of the basement by just one step over Paul’s team, Who didn’t start a QB or WR1 this week. In fairness, neither did the Raiders.

The NFL gave you one normal week of games, so now we’re done with that nonsense. This week features a Thursday contest, two Saturday games, 12 Sunday games, a Monday game and a partridge in a pear tree. Try to keep up, and get those rosters set.

Fantasy football 2025 -- week 14 recap

The Eagles and Chargers starred in ESPN’s "Monsters Funday Football” alternate broadcast on Monday night, with characters from the Monsters Inc. franchise re-enacting all of the plays nearly simultaneously with the live action. The presentation has been a fun gimmick in recent years, but the pick of loveable monsters to stand in for the frustrating Eagles was an inappropriate pick. Here’s the cartoon characters who should have been playing key Philly offensive starters:

** WR AJ Brown — Grumpy the Dwarf
He’s doing all the work, but he ain’t happy about it.

** RB Saquon Barkley — Lightning McQueen
Both used to be fast, now both are stuck in a backwater wasteland with misfits surrounding them.

** DE Jaelan Phillips — Wreck-It Ralph
Nobody seems to appreciate what a beast this guy is, because everything around him is a mess.

** WR DeVonta Smith — Mary Poppins
Both just fly up their field without explanation or any real reason.

** QB Jalen Hurts — Flash, the sloth from Zootopia
Actually, that’s not fair. The sloth could probably get through his reads faster than Hurts right now.

QB: Josh Allen, 43.84 pts — started by Ant
WR: Michael Wilson, 27.47 pts — started by Mike
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, 30.93 pts — started by Jeff
TE: Harold Fannin Jr., 17.60 pts — started by Paul
K: Brandon Aubrey, 23.50 pts — started by Ant
DEF: Minnesota, 23.00 pts — on the wire
D: (tie) Nick Emmanwori, 11.00 pts — on the wire
D: (tie) Christian Benford, 11.00 pts — on the wire

That’s the third time this year that Allen topped 40 fantasy pts in a game. He’s now averaging 25.3 fantasy points a game and sits 25 pts ahead of the second-best fantasy performer of the year, Rams QB Matthew Stafford. But it is worth noting that Allen cost a third-round pick, while you could have gotten Stafford off the waiver wire in week 2.

Gibbs has scored 30+ fantasy pts three times in the last five weeks and still sits 19 fantasy pts behind RB leader Jonathan Taylor for the season. Taylor has almost double the fantasy pts of Saquon Barkley.

Shout out to the #2 fantasy player on the week, Browns QB Shedeur Sanders, who scored 39.46 pts. He threw three TDs, ran for another and proved once and for all that he can post big numbers and still lose in embarrassing fashion. That’s the mark of a true Cleveland signal caller.

“Super Bowl MVP who forgot how to play football” edition

1st place: Jalen Hurts, 2.40 pts — started by Jonathan

Sure, there were QBs who scored lower than the Eagles signal caller this weekend, but non played worse. Hurts coughed up the ball five times in Monday’s loss to the Chargers — twice on one play, the first time that has ever happened in an NFL game — and single-handedly lost the key matchup for his team.

Remember, this is the reigning Super Bowl MVP we are talking about. He had two interceptions all year coming into the game, and left the contest with six. He accounted for zero TDs for the first time all season. Hurts had a perfect passer rating against the Vikings in mid-October and had a worse QB rating than anyone in the stadium on Monday (31.2, where throwing a ball straight into the ground is a 39.6 rating).

It’s a mind-boggling fall from grace for Hurts. The only good news is that it feels impossible to record three turnovers on a single play, so maybe he can’t embarrass himself more next week.


** As snow began to fall during Sunday’s Cincinnati/Buffalo contest, Bengals Dan Hoard noted that the weather hadn’t stopped QB Joe Burrow from throwing two TD passes on his team’s first three drives.

“The snow hasn’t bothered him at all!” he boasted. “He truly is Joe Brrrrrrrr!”

First, if you want to do the Dad joke right, you say the full name. Brrrr-oooow. Cutting it short makes you seem like you just forgot what you were doing.

Second, Burrow threw two picks after that statement, so way to jinx your man.

** The Raiders were trailing the Broncos by 10 points with 58 seconds left in the game on Sunday. After a few quick passes, the team found themselves at the 28-yard-line, and opted to kick a quick field goal to close the gap to a single score. The 46-yard attempt was good ... and ended the game.

 
That’s because the attempt came with four seconds left on the clock. Did any coach on the Las Vegas sideline really think there was time for a field goal, onsides kick recovery and a Hail Mary attempt? Have they watched football before?

As the kick sailed through, Raiders K Daniel Carlson gave a half fist pump, then looked at the sidelines for some kind of explanation. Maybe he was supposed to kick the ball harder, to save that one second for multiple miracles.

** I’m late to the game on this, but the New Jersey Giants motto over the last few years with former coach Brian Daboll was “smart, tough, dependable.” And I think maybe the team didn’t win many games because they were promoting STDs to the players too much.

The Colts lost QB Daniel Jones and backup QB Riley Leonard to injury in Sunday’s loss to the Jaguars. Third-string QB Anthony Richardson has been on injured reserve for a month with his own issues. So on Tuesday, team officials announced they had signed 44-year-old Phillip Rivers, even though he hasn’t taken a professional snap in the last four years.

It’s a desperate, crazy move by the team, because there are clearly better options out there to consider. Here's who they could have added to their backfield instead:

** Tom Brady: Sure, he’s got a cushy TV gig now. But you know he wants to get back in the game, and you know the NFL would be fine with breaking rules to make it happen.

** Peyton Manning: Why not consider a former Colts great? He’s a young 49, and his last time on a football field was a Super Bowl win (in 2015).

** Aaron Rogers: Yes, he has a gig with the Steelers right now. But he’d probably jump just to get more attention.

** Jeff George: Why not consider a former Colts great? He’s a young 58, and his last time on a football field was … losing with the Bears in 2004.

** The remains of Daniel Jones: Even with one busted leg, he’s starting to sound like a preferable choice.

The Cowboys are always looking for player depth, so it’s no surprise that they’ve been active with their practice squad players throughout the season. This week they signed former Pitt RB Israel Abanikanda, hoping he can bring a spark to the floundering team. But it’s not his on field play that made him attractive to coaches — it was the intangibles hidden in his name. Luckily, it’s easy for us to see what his true skills are:

Dallas Cowboys RB Israel Abanikanda
** Seal claws. Kind as a bloody barbarian

Before you ask — yes, seals do have claws. They’re nasty. Not as nasty as the Cowboys defense, but nasty.

** It’s getting grim for Dad — he went 1-3 against me in picks this week, and falls to 10 back in our head-to-head showdown. With just four weeks left, he’s gonna need a major push to keep me from claiming victory.

** Super Bowl winning QB Kenny Pickett had a miserable Sunday, throwing for just 97 yds and one TD to collect 10.48 fantasy pts in the Raiders loss. But that was good enough to get him on the positive side of the ledger for the year. Before this weekend, he had -1.68 fantasy pts for the season, making him the worst fantasy scorer in all of football. Now, he’s among the top 410 scorers on the year. Well done.

** At least Schwarber got a new contract this week? Yay?


Week 14 standings

Family Cup -- regular season final standings 
House Doyle: 30-12
House Garrity: 23-19
House Quinn: 16-26
House Shane: 14-26-2

The playoffs are set: Mike and Lexi get first-round byes, Jonathan and Shelly square off in the 3-6 matchup, and Jim and Ollie square off in the 5-4. Jonathan finished the season with the most points by far, but needed Grandmom Shane to lose on the final day of the regular season to sneak into the playoffs (she started Jalen Hurts, so…)

For the other teams, there is a losers’ bracket, so keep setting those rosters for a chance to finish in 7th place. Emma’s team won in the regular season finale and is itchy for its first winning streak of the season, and a chance to not finish in last.

Awesome Cup standings
1 — One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop), 1,756.67 pts
2 — Still The Best (Jonathan), 1,716.34 pts
3 — Goederts and Monsterts (Bob), 1,681.37 pts
4 — City Hands (Mike), 1,668.42 pts
5 — Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome), 1,667.52 pts
6 — Vert der Ferks (Ant), 1,482.66 pts
7 — Schwarbombs (Jo), 1,423.80 pts
8 — The Fightin Pickles (Sam), 1,367.16 pts
9 — DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D), 1,329.68 pts
10 — Blue Collar Killers (Jeff), 1,313.59 pts
11 — The B Sharps (Paul), 1,226.39 pts
12 — All Rogers No Sauce (Joel), 1,203.92 pts

A huge week for Mike (152.11 pts) vaulted him over me into fourth place, despite my first half-decent performance (129.97) in a month. Jonathan’s stumble gives Dad a bigger cushion in first place. And three teams managed to score less than 80 pts this week (Jeff, Joel and Jo), which isn’t great. Hang tight, the season isn’t over yet.

But the bye weeks are! Four weeks of football left and everyone will play. No Saturday games this week. Only one Monday game. Still a stupid Thursday game, but that’s unavoidable. No reason to have your roster incomplete. It’s time to push towards the trophies.