Fantasy football 2025 -- preseason rankings

The teams are all set, and the league title has essentially already been wrapped up. I mean, we can still play all the games, but here’s how the season will play out, based on my advanced analytics assessment of the teams:

All Rogers No Sauce (Joel)

Yahoo ranking: 1861.38 pts, 6th place
My ranking: 1657.07 pts, 12th place
Joel didn’t really earn this ranking, because his team looks half decent. WRs Ja'Marr Chase and Ladd McConkey have too many extra letters in their names but should pull down lots of points this season. RB TreVeyon Henderson could be a sensation, and also keeps the team trend of weird mid-name capitalizations going. TE Brock Bowers should return to Pro-Bowl form again. But if you finish at the bottom of the standings for the season, you’ve got to prove your worth the next year before you get a higher projection.

The B Sharps (Paul)

Yahoo ranking:1856.86 pts, 7th place
My ranking: 1736.92 pts, 11th place
I can’t project any team with Saquon Barkley — he who rushed for the most yards in NFL history last year — to finish last. But second to last? It’s possible. Paul, who used to call his team “I love WRs,” managed to draft two suspended wideouts (Jordan Addison and Rashee Rice) and a third who is out for at least a month (Brandon Aiyuk). That only gives him one healthy pass catcher, not including his two mid-draft tight ends (also not great). Still, he’s got two solid defenses (Iggles and Packers) and Joe Burrow passing behind a solid corps of runners, so this team could surprise.

Blue Collar Killers (Jeff)

Yahoo ranking: 1889.05 pts, 5th place
My ranking: 1751.13 pts, 10th place
On one hand, Jeff’s team has WR DeVonta Smith, plus great RBs in Jahmyr Gibbs and Chase Brown. On the other hand, he’s got QB Dak Prescott — a well-established loser — and a kicker who is already on the IR (Jason Sanders). Will Jeff replace the kicker before the season starts? Will he have to rely on Michael Penix Jr. as his team’s primary QB once Prescott chokes? Will anyone in the league figure out how to say RB Bhayshul Tuten’s name (my guess: Bay-shoe Toot-ing)? Too many questions here to rank this team any higher.

DeVonta’s Inferno (Mom D)

Yahoo ranking: 1836.60 pts, 8th place
My ranking: 1844.34 pts, 9th place
This team has a solid QB in Baker Mayfield and three quality wideouts in Amon-Ra St. Brown, Brian Thomas Jr. and Marvin Harrison Jr. And the running backs? I’m willing to bet Mom D has never heard of any of them (Tony Pollard, Omarion Hampton, Rachaad White, Tyler Allgeier). She also has four players already listed as questionable for week 1. They’ll probably be fine in the end, but the specter of injuries abounds. Mom also drafted two defensive players — S Dell Pettus and CB Brandin Echols — that I am 100% certain are just spelling errors. No chance they are real people. I mean, I know it’s fantasy football, but we’re supposed to follow real players, not just jumbles of letters.

City Hands (Mike)

Yahoo ranking: 1806.47 pts, 10th place
My ranking: 1999.96 pts, 8th place
Mike has the all overhyped team this season, and it’s not even because he ended up with multiple Cowboys. QB Jayden Daniels is primed to be this year’s big fantasy bust, after an incredible rookie campaign. WR Garrett Wilson is a good receiver without even an average QB. The Detroit defense? They sure didn’t look good in that playoff loss to Daniels. And a RB corps of Zach Charbonnet, Travis Etienne Jr. and Jerome Ford is the answer to the question “who are three RBs who might not combine for 10 carries a week by October?” Still, WRs Nico Collins and Courtland Sutton are intriguing. If Mike can channel his inner Quint for coaching, this team could land a big fish.

Vert der Ferks (Anthony)

Yahoo ranking: 1958.50 pts, 2nd place
My ranking: 2001.77 pts, 7th place
This is a solid, solid team. QB Josh Allen,potentially six fantasy relevant wideouts led by Justin Jefferson and Puka Nacua, some underrated juice in RB Chuba Hubbard. So why am I ranking them so low? As always, Ant’s team has one fatal flaw, and this time it’s Dallas TE Jake Ferguson. For a change, the issue isn’t that he accidentally drafted a Cowboy — that’s easy enough to fix. No, the problem is there is zero chance that Anthony remembers the dude’s real name and starts calling him “Turd Ferguson” for the entire year. That’s the kind of distraction that can derail even the best laid coaching plans. Might as well just change the team name to “Celebrity Jeopardy” and call it a day.

Still The Best (Jonathan) 

Yahoo ranking:1801.46 pts, 11th place
My ranking: 2095.45 pts, 6th place
Did Yahoo just rank the two-time Awesome Cup champion as the second-worst team in the league? That’s incredible disrespect for what this young coach has accomplished. Sure, he’s relying on bounce-back years from Jonathan Taylor (drafted only because of his first name) and Stefon Diggs. But this team has QB Jalen Hurts and WR Terry McLaurin. It has reliable TE Evan Engram. It doesn’t have anyone from the Jets. Surely, the bottom of the rankings cannot be where this team is destined to finish.

Schwarbombs (Jo)

Yahoo ranking: 1790.42 pts, 12th place
My ranking: 2095.47 pts, 5th place
The disrespect continues. Yahoo’s AI completely ignores Joanna’s strategic skills and remains focused on small but coachable gaps in her roster. QB Bo Nix? Primed for a leap this season. WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba? Sleeper to lead the league in receiving yards. Three other potential Pro-Bowl wideouts? Unconventional, but workable. RBs D'Andre Swift and Isiah Pacheco? I mean … anything is possible, I guess.

The Fightin Pickles (Sam) 

Yahoo ranking: 1979.82 pts, 1st place
My ranking: 2139.82 pts, 4th place
Same has a fine team … on paper. QB Patrick Mahomes and WR Ceedee Lamb look poised to put up solid numbers this year … on paper. An RB tandem of Bucky Irving and Alvin Kamara works … on paper. But that’s not enough to build a real champion. Fantasy football isn’t played on paper. It’s played on … well, it’s actually played on a computer screen … but it’s really played in the hearts and souls of the combatants. And that’s where this team is lacking. Also, I just kinda want to root against Mahomes and Lamb all year.

Saquontum Leap (Capt. Awesome)

Yahoo ranking: 1821.49 pts, 9th place
My ranking: 2233.44 pts, 3rd place
I’m sorry, Yahoo AI, but what is it you think is weak with this team? Is it the perennial MVP candidate QB in Lamar Jackson? Is it the two fantasy stud RBs (Bijan Robinson and Kyren Williams)? Is it the pair of rookie sleepers in TE Tyler Warren and WR Emeka Egbuka? Or is it the top-ranked fantasy defense? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, YAHOO? It’s worth noting that after I replaced my two defensive players with better options on Tuesday morning, the AI overlords suddenly revised their rankings to mark me as the 4th best team. So their predictions are all an exercise in nonsense, unlike my scientifically rigorous methods.

One Plus One is Three SBs (Pop)

Yahoo ranking: 1939.36 pts, 3rd place
My ranking: 2244.32 pts, 2nd place
Look, I’m as surprised as you that I like Dad’s team. But there are actual running backs on the squad for a change — Derrick Henry, De’Von Achane, James Connor. I think WR Tyreek Hill could be in line for a big comeback. I think the Rams defense is a sneaky point getter. And I see QB Brock Purdy as … well, he’ll be fine for fantasy, even if he’s completely overrated as a winner. My only real reservation is that Yahoo thinks Dad is poised for a good season too, which is always a kiss of death. But, there’s a first time for everything.

Goederts and Monsterts (Bobert)

Yahoo ranking: 1894.72 pts, 4th place
My ranking: 2317 pts, 1st place
Our best team name also gets the albatross of the top ranking in the league again. Bob is rolling out to the gridiron with WR AJ Brown, WR Tee Higgins, RB Christian McCaffery, WR Davante Adams and TE Travis Kelce. Is there a chance all five could be injured beyond repair by week 4? Yes! But there is also a chance at greatness. QB Jared Goff is solid if not exciting. RBs Joe Mixon and Quinshon Judkins could provide mid-season depth. And WR Luther Burden III puts an extra suffix on the squad, which is always a bonus. The vibes are great around this team, which is why Bob has no chance of winning this season. Sorry, man. Better luck in 2026.

There you have it, folks. The Eagles open the season on Thursday evening, so get your roster squared away by then. We’ve got a Friday game too, then a few Sunday games, and then the calendar roulette that is the NFL season. Buckle up, because it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.