iFalse iAdvertising

In case you missed it this week, Apple began selling its first iphones – pocket sized wonder toys that can make calls, surf the web, play mp3s, show movies …

But there are a few things the device can do that Apple has decided not to advertise. Here are some of the rejected uses for the $600 gadget:

Bottle opener

Listening to Bill Gates podcasts

Fashionable jewelry

Finding directions for the nearest payphone

Playing Pong

Editor's wife's note: Suck it Mac. He did this completely with Microsoft Paint.